


Broken

by chasethewind



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fear, Female Friendship, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Felicity, Injured Oliver, Love, Love Confessions, Major Character Injury, Male Friendship, Romance, Serious Injuries, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-22 10:29:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 88,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasethewind/pseuds/chasethewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moments when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable are the moments when we need those that mean the most to us. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to help you through the pain gives you the strength to pull through. She became the strength he needed when life felt hopeless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trying To Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> So I've finally decided to move this story over from ff.net so people here could enjoy it as well. I should have all the current chapters posted within the hour.

"Breathe, Felicity," she whispered as the dust settled. A string of aftershocks from the earthquake had just rocked the foundry. Felicity Smoak had been stuck down there for several hours, communication being lost soon after the first round of shaking stopped, alone and without a link to the outside world. The two people she trusted most were nowhere to be found.

Having cried tears of fear and anger, Felicity knew it was time to get the hell out of this place just in case it collapsed on top of her, although she doubted that would happen. She knew most of the damage had been caused on the east side of the Glades. Knowing didn't stop the survival instinct from kicking in.

The secret side door didn't budge when she tried to press her weight against it. It was probably blocked, but she kept trying. After ten minutes of shoving, it still wouldn't move, so she decided to try the main door up the stairs that led into the club. Again she was met with resistance. The more she tried, the more it frustrated her to think she was so weak.

_No, I might be small, but I'm not weak._

She'd proven it time and again on the mats, taking down opponents as she trained with her boss and his bodyguard. If she put her mind to something, there was nothing that could stop her from achieving it. That's how she managed to graduate at the top of her class in both high school and college. Getting through a door was going to be a piece of cake, dammit.

Felicity headed back downstairs to try the side door once more, this time giving herself a running start. Using her left shoulder as a battering ram, she hit the metal door full force only to bounce back in agony when something popped. She'd done a number on her shoulder, she was certain. But the door had jarred open.

"Yes!" Felicity used her good arm to fist pump the air. "I still do it," she added, putting her arm down and peering through the crack in the door to see it was blocked by a large piece of sharp edged steel. Using her back and legs this time, she pushed against the door with all the strength she had. It continued to inch open.

For a few minutes, Felicity sat back against it to collect herself and rub her aching shoulder. She needed to get out of here and find out what had happened to her friends. Having not heard anything from Oliver or Diggle these past few hours was making her uncomfortable at best, scared at worst.

It was that fear that helped Felicity focus on the task of getting the door open. A few more good pushes and she'd managed to get it open enough to fit her body through. But getting past the sharp metal wouldn't be easy. She slowly began to step over the beam, but her dress caught on the jagged teeth causing her to lose her balance and fall onto it.

The searing pain of metal tearing through flesh shocked her, and for a moment Felicity though she was going to die. Taking a deep breath, she eased herself away from the beam. A quick glance down at her right leg showed the extent of the damaged the serrated edges had caused. There was a deep gash along the side that stretched from her thigh to her knee. Blood dripped from the wound and she stripped off the pink cardigan she'd worn to use as a makeshift bandage.

Staggering from the door, Felicity surveyed the damage around her. People rushed past trying to get away from the devastation while she looked on in horror. This was beyond the scope of even her overactive imagination. The Glades looked like a war zone. Death and destruction lay scattered around her. Buildings crumbled, fires raged, and people cried out for help. All she could do was stare.

In her short twenty-five years of life, Felicity had never been through anything like what she'd been through that night. Heart and mind racing, she realized her friends were still out there in the thick of it. She didn't know where they were, if they were okay, if either one (or perhaps both) were hurt, or if something worse had become of them.

Felicity banished the last thought from her mind. This was not the time to be thinking about that. They were warriors, brothers in arms. If anything happened to one, the other would be there to help. At least that's what she told herself in order to calm her already frazzled nerves.

It seemed her thoughts had a snowball effect. Once the ball got rolling, it was hard, if not impossible to stop. Different scenarios of what had befallen her friends began to overtake rational thought until panic set in. Taking several more deep breaths, Felicity tried to quell the fear running rampant in her mind.

A hand on her right shoulder caused Felicity to scream and turn violently. It took her several moments to realize the face that stared back at her wasn't someone trying to mug her in the midst of the chaos.

"Oliver!" she cried out, nearly jumping into his body as her arms wrapped around his waist and she buried her face in the soft leather of his jacket. "Oh, thank god you're alive." The tears had already begun to well at the corners of her eyes.

As she pulled away and glanced around, Felicity realized something was amiss. "Where's Diggle?" Her fears suddenly came rushing back as she looked up at Oliver's face and saw the ever growing emptiness in his eyes. "Oh, god…" Felicity's hand came to her mouth as she tried to swallow back a sob.

Oliver blinked, his distant gaze disappearing when he realized what she'd just inferred. He shook his head as his hands came to rest on her shoulders and replied, "No, he's fine."

Relief flooded back as she breathed a deep sigh. "Don't scare me like that," Felicity muttered before glancing back up at him. The emptiness had returned to his eyes. That's when she noticed the faint trail of dried tears running down his dusty cheeks. Something had gone wrong. She'd never seen him cry before.

Although it made her wince to raise her shoulder, she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Oliver, what happened?" Felicity softly asked. She watched him swallow hard, his blue eyes shutting and remaining closed as if he was trying to gather the energy to tell her. When they opened again, pain had consumed them. He looked lost, hopeless even, as he stared back at her, unshed tears threatening to spill over as he leaned into her touch.

"Tommy..." It was all Oliver needed to say. Felicity felt the wave of sadness crash over her. Although she never got a chance to know his best friend, she'd caught enough about him to see he was someone Oliver cared about and that the last few weeks of their friendship had been strained. She couldn't begin to comprehend the pain he was in right now having lost someone he'd known most of his life. As a pair of tears slid down his cheeks, she wiped them away with her thumbs as she pulled him back into her arms.

There really wasn't anything Felicity could say to console him. Right now Oliver needed a shoulder to cry on, and she gladly offered up her good one without a second thought. Running her hands down his back, Felicity felt something warm and sticky beneath her fingers. She pulled her hand away to find it covered in red.

"You're bleeding!" Felicity stepped back and gave him a quick once over. Just below Oliver's left shoulder was a large red stain. It became obvious to her the injury was a through-and-through. "I need to get you to a hospital."

Oliver shook his head. "It's not that bad," he said, but as her fingers slid over it, the sharp hiss of his breath told her otherwise.

"Oliver..." Felicity was getting ready to argue with him, but his hard gaze put an end to it immediately.

"All the hospitals in the area are full. I can take care of this myself. Right now, we need to get out of here," Oliver said. Somehow he'd managed to rake in his emotions, his eyes becoming dark and distant once more. Turning, he began to walk down the street, and she noticed he was favoring his right side.

"Hey, slow down," Felicity said as she came up beside him. Her right arm wrapped around his waist as she ducked under his shoulder, letting it rest around her neck while they walked towards his bike. Although the weight pressing against her left shoulder felt painful, she wasn't about to let on she'd also been injured.

The grateful look Oliver gave her was unexpected. It took Felicity's mind off her own pain as she smiled up at him knowingly. "We'll take my car," she added, hoping it was still where she'd left it.

About half a block away, the little red Mini Cooper sat parked in its usual space. By some miracle no one had broken in or even touched it. Felicity fished her pockets for her keys and unlocked the door. Helping Oliver into the passenger's seat, she walked around to the trunk and pulled out the bag of first aid gear he'd practically forced her to keep there in case of emergencies. This was the first time she'd ever been so happy to see that thing in her life.

Hauling it out of the trunk proved to be a daunting task as her shoulder protested the weight, but Felicity managed to get it into her back seat and rummaged around until she found a towel, hydrogen peroxide, and some bandages.

Felicity walked back over to the passenger's side and bent down slightly. Her right leg protested, but she bit her lip in order to control the pain that shot through her body. Thankfully Oliver was still too preoccupied with his own pain to notice hers. To distract herself, Felicity soaked the towel with the antiseptic before she glanced over at him to find his gaze fixed on her, that distant look still in his eyes.

It was hard to watch him shut down like this, but Felicity understood. She didn't know how she'd react to finding out her best friend was dead and imagined it might be something like this. But Oliver had lost so much in the past five and a half years. This was truly where the disconnect lay. She couldn't relate, but she would try to comfort him as much as she could.

Right now, though, her attention was focused on his wounded shoulder. Felicity felt her heart begin to race as she reached for the zipper of his jacket. Glancing up, Oliver's slight nod was all the permission she needed to slowly pull it down. Gently, her fingers slipped it from his left arm, but the sharp breath he took as he pulled away from the sleeve was enough for her to pause. She glanced at him again to make sure he was alright, and with another nod, Felicity continued until he was out of his jacket.

Beneath the green leather was a grey t-shirt stained red. She gasped realizing just how much blood Oliver had actually lost. The stain was the size of a dinner plate and dripped down his side until it reached the hem of his shirt, the back mirroring the front. A half dollar sized hole sat in the middle of the mess. Felicity thought her heart would beat right out of her chest as her fingers peeled back the cotton to reveal torn and bloodied flesh. Biting her lip, she knew what came next wouldn't be pleasant.

With great care, Felicity eased the hydrogen peroxide soaked towel against the wound. The half growl, half cry that escaped Oliver's throat as he clenched his fist was enough to startle her. "I'm sorry," she lamented, her voice nearly cracking as she tried to hold back the sob threatening to escape her own throat. It was painful to watch him suffer. Felicity never liked this part of the job. Having to patch Oliver up usually fell on Diggle's shoulders, but with him not here tonight, the responsibility was hers.

"It's fine," Oliver replied, his jaw clenched as she began her task of cleaning up as much of the wound as she could.

Felicity worked quickly and diligently, making sure she didn't hurt him too much. Although Oliver was no stranger to pain, she didn't like seeing it cross his handsome face. Taping a bandage to each side of the wound, she threw the blood soaked towel into the trunk then wiped her bloodied hands with another. For a moment, she thought about patching herself up as well, but an explosion rocked a building a few streets over sending debris flying through the air and landing very close to the car.

In near panic, Felicity jumped into the driver's seat and peeled out of the parking space, tires squealing against wet pavement. She weaved through mangled streets and debris as the sun began to rise over the city. The clouds had turned shades of pink and purple by the time they reached the outskirts of the Glades. Oliver pulled out his phone and began to punch coordinates into the GPS.

Throwing a glance in his direction, Felicity could see his pale features as the sun peeked out from behind skyscrapers. The exhaustion, both physical and mental, was evident from the dark circles under his eyes. She reached over and placed her hand over his. Oliver gave her a sideways glance as the ghost of a smile came to his lips. He twined his fingers with hers and they continued on the path the GPS took them.

It was painful driving with her left hand, but there was nothing more she wanted than to feel his touch right now. Felicity hadn't realized just how much she needed the warmth of his hand wrapped around hers until it actually was. It gave her the peace of mind she'd desperately been searching for as she clawed her way out of the foundry. Knowing Oliver was alive, albeit injured, allowed her to breathe more easily.

With the sun hanging low in the sky, the road opened up as it wound along the coast, the ocean to their west and stunning mountain views to their east. Felicity had never been this far out of Starling City before, but she welcomed it after the night's events. It was the breath of fresh air she needed to clear her mind of all the death and destruction. The only reminder was the man seated beside her in all his beautifully broken glory.

Oliver had closed his eyes, but she could still feel his fingers tightly tangled with hers. Felicity knew he was desperately clinging to whatever semblance of normalcy was left in his life. Even if she'd only been a part of it for the last few months, it made her feel special knowing that Oliver Queen turned to her when he needed help with not just computer problems, but the private things he would hide from everyone else.

It blew Felicity's mind that they had formed such a strong bond in such a short amount of time, but she trusted him. Yes, Oliver had lied to her in the beginning about why he needed help, but when he'd come to her, shot and bleeding, she knew he truly trusted her just as she'd always trusted him. The lies fell away and what was left became a friendship she would cherish for the rest of her life.

An hour passed in silence as Felicity followed the GPS on Oliver's phone until it told her to take an exit off the highway into a small roadside town. Driving along the main thoroughfare, many of the quaint little stores were shuttered at this early hour except from the small diner and the coffee shop.

'Mmm, coffee,' Felicity thought, but Oliver needed to be attended to, so she decided to forego her morning cup of joe and continued on her route.

The town soon disappeared in her rearview mirror and Felicity found herself in the midst of a lush green forest on either side of the road. Every so often she'd get a peek of the ocean through the trees, but it wasn't until about twenty minutes later that it finally opened up to expansive blue waters and sugar sand beaches.

"Your destination is on the right," the GPS chirped from the cup holder, startling Felicity back into reality.

Glancing in that direction, she saw a short gravel driveway that wound up to a relatively small white and grey painted house that sat on the water's edge surrounded by sand and ocean. As she pulled up to the front door, Felicity couldn't help but take in the beauty. Although the house appeared small, she could see it was still two stories high with a vaulted roof and a patio out back.

"Oliver," she murmured, lightly squeezing his hand. His head bobbed up as his eyes fluttered open. Felicity smiled as she gazed at him. "We're here." Oliver nodded and reluctantly let go of her hand. She came around to his side of the car and wrapped her good arm around his waist helping him up. Together they walked the short distance to the front door before stopping.

"Do you have a key?" Felicity asked.

"Under the green potted plant," Oliver answered.

Leaving him to lean against the door, she glanced around the front stoop and quickly spotted it. Pushing the pot over slowly, she found a silver key taped beneath the base. The door was soon unlocked and together they stepped into the warm confines of the house.

It looked even bigger on the inside, with an open floor plan and windows that had panoramic views of the ocean. Everything was painted in shades of beige, from the walls to the furniture, giving it a light and airy feel. To her right was the kitchen, also decked out in beige marble countertops and stainless steel appliances, to her left the dining room with its small country table that sat four comfortably, and out front was the living area where a beige couch and sofa set facing each other with a white painted wooden coffee table between them. She guided Oliver to the couch, setting him down on the soft cushions before heading back to the car to grab the first aid kit.

When she returned, Felicity found him lying across the couch, his shoes kicked off on the floor beside his feet and his head nestled against one of the matching throw pillows. Flinging the curtains closed on all of the windows until it was nearly dark inside the room, she returned to Oliver's side with the bag painfully slung over her right shoulder. No matter what she tried, she couldn't escape her pain. At some point, Oliver was going to have to find out. Right now, Felicity needed to go through the first aid bag and see what else she had.

A pair of scissors, gauze, cotton pads, bandage tape, syringe, saline solution and antiseptic wipes came out of the bag. They were neatly laid out on the coffee table before Felicity stood up and made her way to the kitchen to wash her hands. When she returned, she donned a pair of gloves before taking a seat on the table across from Oliver. His eyes were still closed making her wonder if now was a good time to deal with his injury or if she should just let him sleep.

"You're staring," he muttered before glancing up at her.

Felicity jumped but recovered quickly after taking a deep breath. "Sorry," she replied. "Do you think you can take off your shirt so I can take care of… that?" she added, waving her hand over the blood soaked portions. Oliver sat up gingerly and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt. As it lifted off his body, she spotted the myriad of black and blue bruises that spanned his torso.

"Oliver," she gasped, her eyes growing wide as saucers as her breath caught in her throat. Whatever had happened that night, it must have been brutal. Felicity's gaze flicked up to find that cavernous distance in his eyes separating him from the rest of the world.

Maybe it was a good thing, considering that she was about to put him through yet another painful round of wound cleaning and redressing. But it concerned her, seeing that look. She was afraid he was shutting down again, pulling away into some inner world of self torment and torture.

"Hey," Felicity whispered, trying to refocus his attention. But Oliver kept his eyes fixed somewhere far beyond her. She placed a gloved hand against his cheek and his gaze fell on her again. Giving him a soft smile, she said, "If you need to talk, I'm here. I might not know what to say, but I'll listen. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. I'll never judge you."

Oliver sighed, "I know. Maybe in time, but… not right now."

Nodding, Felicity understood. Their relationship was built on trust and patience. She wasn't about to rush him into telling her anything about that night. This experience had been traumatic for both of them. Maybe they did need some time before opening up, but right now, there were more pressing matters to attend to, such as the blood soaked bandages over his left shoulder.

As Oliver sat, Felicity delicately flushed out the wound before cleaning it with the antiseptic wipes. Her eyes would flick back and forth between his face and his shoulder to make sure she wasn't hurting him too much, but all she saw was an emptiness that was quickly consuming him. "I'm almost done," she announced, trying to get his attention. It worked momentarily, but he returned to his darkness soon after.

Taping the last bandage to his bruised skin, Felicity peeled off her gloves and let them drop to the hardwood floor where the rest of the discarded medical supplies had piled up at her feet. "I want you to lie down and get some rest, okay?" she told Oliver before gathering up the trash and heading to the kitchen to dispose of it.

When she returned, he was already laid out on the couch, eyes closed, arm resting across his forehead. Felicity decided to search for a blanket before tending to her injuries. A wooden staircase headed to the second floor of the house. She followed it up and found herself in the master bedroom.

The view up here was just as spectacular as the view from downstairs. The panoramic windows bathed the room in soft sunlight. Maybe later she'd bring Oliver up here and let him rest in the large California king bed instead of the small couch downstairs. Felicity had half a mind to curl up in it herself, but she knew he would probably need something throughout the day and instead focused her attention on finding the blanket she'd set out to look for.

A large walk in closet was off to the right of the bed. Felicity opened the doors and found racks of men's and women's clothing hanging inside. Above them were shelves stacked with extra blankets and pillows. Using her good arm, she tried to pull a few down, but could barely reach high enough to even touch the wooden shelves. This was the disadvantage of being five-foot-four.

Felicity tried again, this time leaning her left shoulder against the wall before standing on the tips of her toes. The pain made her cry out, but she managed to grab the edge of a set of blankets and pillows. They tumbled to the floor allowing her to easily pick them up and carry them downstairs. Later on she'd go through the closet and see if there was anything in there that would fit Oliver, but for now, the blanket would do.

After throwing it over him, Felicity sat down on the sofa opposite the couch. She grabbed the antiseptic, a towel, a roll of gauze, some cotton padding and a roll of tape out of the first aid kit before gently peeling back the blood soaked cardigan from her leg. The gash had already begun to clot, but Felicity knew it needed to be cleaned out as well. Having watched the pain Oliver had gone through she knew this was going to hurt like hell.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Felicity gritted her teeth as she wiped the towel down her leg. With Oliver asleep on the couch across from her, she couldn't take the chance of alerting him to her own dilemma. Tears streamed down her cheeks while she held in the sobs that threatened to overtake her. The pain was worse than that in her shoulder, but it began to ease when the blood had been wiped away leaving the cut clean and ready for bandaging.

Just as she had done with Oliver, Felicity placed several strips of the cotton against the open wound before rolling it up with the gauze and taping it to her leg. It was over, she thought to herself as she took yet another deep breath. Lying back against the armrest, she closed her eyes; the exhaustion she'd somehow avoided suddenly fell on her shoulders like a dead weight. In moments she was asleep.


	2. Out Of Pain Comes Truth

Somewhere off in the distance, a phone was ringing. Felicity made an attempt to turn it off, but instead of finding a nightstand, her right hand found empty air and fell to her side against soft fabric. Cracking one bleary eye open, she realized she wasn't in her bed. Memories of the previous twenty-four hours came rushing back. The earthquake, the Glades, Oliver… She sat up and then regretted moving when her left shoulder protested painfully. This hadn't been some awful nightmare she'd just had.

The phone had stopped ringing, but she was awake now. Felicity's eyes settled on the man lying across from her on the couch. Oliver was still asleep, his head turned slightly in her direction. But that's not what caught her attention. Sweat beaded his forehead.

The short walk to his side was more painful than she'd expected. No longer fueled by adrenaline, her body was overcompensating by making everything hurt that much more. Felicity bit back the pain as she eased herself onto the coffee table. Placing the back of her hand against Oliver's temple, she found him too warm for her liking. Worry knit her brows as she reached into the first aid bag and pulled out a thermometer.

"Shit," Felicity muttered under her breath when the digital readout blinked 102.7 degrees. Pulling the blanket from his injured shoulder, she peeled back the bloodied bandage to find it already becoming infected even though she'd taken great care in cleaning it.

"Damn it," she stammered, throwing the thermometer back into the bag. 'If only I had those herbs,' Felicity thought as she chewed her thumbnail trying to figure out what to do next. She settled on keeping the fever at bay and wobbled into the kitchen to fetch a bowl of cold water.

She made her way methodically through the cabinets. Some held cans of soup and vegetables while others were filled with pots and pans, plates and silverware. Finally, she found mixing bowls of all shapes and sizes. Felicity picked one of the smaller glass containers and filled it with cold water at the sink. Once done, she was back at Oliver's side.

Another clean towel was left to soak in the water as she continued to search the first aid kit for something, anything that would help control the infection and keep his fever down. Towards the bottom of the bag, Felicity found a bottle of ibuprofen. It would work for now, but she still wished he'd stashed a small amount of those special herbs in there.

Ever so gently, she dabbed the cold towel over Oliver's forehead. His reaction was immediate. Sky blue eyes fluttered open, his gaze finding her face.

"Hi," Felicity whispered in an effort to keep him calm. The confusion she found in those soft blue orbs forced her to continue. "You've been asleep for…" she glanced down at her watch, "I have no idea how long, it's nearly seven, but you've been asleep for quite some time. How do you feel?" Dabbing the towel in the water, she continued pressing it to his neck and upper chest as she waited for an answer.

"Felicity, what are you doing?" Oliver rasped as he placed a hand over her wrist.

"You're running a fever and I think your shoulder might be infected," she answered. The warmth of his fingers spread through her like wildfire, even more so when he started tracing circles over her hand with his thumb. His eyes were no longer distant as he gazed up at her. She breathed a sigh of relief. This was the Oliver she'd grown to know and love. 'Strictly in the most platonic way' she reminded herself. 'Bull crap,' her brain chided.

"Jacket, left pocket," Oliver knocked her out of her reverie. He released her hand and she glanced around the room before realizing his jacket was still in the passenger's seat of her car.

"Be right back," Felicity hopped off the coffee table and hobbled towards the front door. She returned a few minutes later, jacket in hand.

"Are you okay?" Oliver's question stopped her in her tracks. "You're limping," he observed. His eyes fell to the bandage around her right leg and the spots of red that had appeared on it while she'd slept.

"'Tis but a scratch,'" Felicity gave him a weak smile. She could tell he didn't buy it so she chose to ignore the concern in his eyes. Rooting through the pockets of his jacket, she discovered a small satchel and squeaked triumphantly.

Handing him a glass of water and the herbs, she hobbled over to the windows and threw open the curtains to let some more light in. The sun was just setting over the ocean. As she turned, Felicity found Oliver sitting up and watching her intently. He looked cold, so she threw the blanket over his shoulders before taking a seat next to him.

His gaze never strayed from her profile. It was unnerving and Felicity found herself fidgeting with the strap of her watch. "Let me take a look," Oliver said, scooting closer to her.

"I'm fine," Felicity claimed. "Really, it's not that bad."

"Please," he murmured, his hand already resting on her bare knee.

Warmth spread throughout her body, pooling in places that she wished it wouldn't. Felicity swallowed hard, trying to keep her mind from running rampant with thoughts reserved for only the latest of nights. She couldn't escape the earnest look in his eyes and sighed, lifting her legs into his lap. Oliver's fingers ran up her calf causing her skin to prickle at his touch. A slight flush of red colored her cheeks, but his focus was all on the tape along the edges of the bandage.

Tugging at it slowly revealed the true extent of the beam's serrated teeth on her flesh. The wound's jagged edges were clear in the fading sunlight. "This isn't a scratch," Oliver said as he gazed at her, worry in his tired eyes. He pulled the rest of the bandage off before reaching into the first aid bag to grab a few things.

Felicity knew what was coming when she saw him pull out everything she'd used earlier. She sat up, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

"I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt," he said prepping a towel with the hydrogen peroxide.

"I know," Felicity sighed as she steeled herself for the pain. "I had to clean it out by myself earlier. That wasn't very fun. It hurt like hell, but… OWWWWW!" she howled as he pressed the towel to her skin. There was no way of getting around the searing pain that shot through her. Digging her fingers into the couch cushions, Felicity gritted her teeth in order to keep from crying.

Oliver was quick. In half the time it took her to clean out the wound herself he had already begun to dress it using butterfly closure strips. "There," he said, stroking her knee with his hand. "All done." Oliver graced her with a thin smile before letting her legs drop to the floor. "I would stitch it up for you, but without anesthetic, I don't think you'd be able to tolerate the pain."

"Probably not," Felicity agreed as she smoothed out the wrinkles in her tattered and torn dress. She couldn't look at him, not with all the butterflies flapping around in her stomach. They were doing summersaults as his hand came to lift up her chin so their eyes met.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Oliver asked. The worry still graced his features, but she could tell it had begun to dissipate now that her leg wound had been taken care of. "What happened here?" His hand rested against the bruised flesh of her shoulder and she winced.

"Ahh, that… that was from slamming into a door," Felicity answered with a cringe as he gently pressed his fingers over the joint. "Ooh, okay, enough, stop, please!" she cried, unable to take it anymore. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled away from him, her body curving in to keep the pain from returning.

As she cradled her arm, Oliver said, "I think you might have separated your shoulder."

"What?" Felicity's head shot up. "Is that bad? Because it sounds really bad. Maybe I should get to the hospital and have this checked out. I'll probably need x-rays to make sure nothing is broken. Oh, jeez, I hope nothing is broken. I don't know what I'd do then…"

"Felicity, breathe," Oliver cut her off before she could go too far on her tangent. His eyes were reassuring as he added, "It's not that bad. Ice and rest and you'll be fine. Here, this should help too." He took the bottle of ibuprofen off the table and handed it to her.

The pounding of her heart slowed as she took several deep breaths and opened the bottle, shaking out four pills into her hand. Felicity downed them with the rest of Oliver's glass of water before sitting back into the couch and gazing out the windows as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

It was a far cry from the previous day. The silence and solitude echoed through the room. This peaceful place was a sharp contrast from the broken and shattered city they'd left behind. "Oliver, where are we?" Felicity suddenly asked.

His eyes were also on the fading sunlight as the last rays finally dipped into the sea. "Where I grew up," Oliver finally answered after several long moments. His eyes never strayed from the windows. "This was the first place I remembered living as a child. My father left it to me in his will."

Felicity nodded. She could tell Oliver was getting lost in memories as he relaxed into the couch. "What do you remember about it?" she continued questioning, slightly curious as to why this place meant so much to him that he brought them here.

"We were always happy here," he said. "I can't remember a day when we weren't. It always brings back the good memories. Catching fish on the beach with my father; my mother cooking dinner in the kitchen; the smell of the ocean through the open windows… It's like as soon as we moved to the mansion, all that happiness disappeared. Even when Thea was born, I still couldn't recapture what I felt here. I was safe, loved, happy…"

This was a side of Oliver Queen she'd never seen before. He was opening up to Felicity about his past before the island, something he never talked about with her. She took a moment to absorb the information he'd just gifted her before speaking. "You miss it," she concluded. Her hand slipped into his and she squeezed it gently. It earned her a small smile. But the brooding Oliver she'd always known soon came back. It was the way his eyes darkened and his smile faded that alerted her he was pulling away again, retreating back into whatever depths of hell he reserved for himself.

"Oliver," Felicity whispered, trying to draw him back to her. She squeezed his hand again, but he was gone, lost to his misery as his eyes grew cold. "You can still be happy."

His icy gaze fell on her. Felicity swallowed, but didn't back down. She stayed planted on the couch at his side, hand firmly gripping his as fierce blue eyes stared back in defiance.

"No, I can't," Oliver growled. His hand slipped from Felicity's as he got up and walked over to one of the windows. Eyes settling on the ocean, he stood stock still, one hand braced against the white trim of the window while the other remained at his side in a white knuckled fist.

For a while, he didn't speak. Felicity was tempted to get up and stand beside him, but she knew the tension in his shoulders warned for her to stay away. Oliver was battling with the demons inside his head, and if she tried to intervene, she'd only end up getting hurt. So she sat there, chewing her bottom lip, waiting in silence until he was ready to continue.

"I don't deserve to be happy," Oliver finally muttered.

"But, why? How can you think that?"

"I've cause so much pain to those around me. I've failed everyone. I've failed my family. I've failed my friends. I've failed my city. I couldn't stop the Undertaking or Malcolm Merlyn. I deserve to rot in hell for what I've done." His head dropped.

"Oliver…" Felicity was standing now. Oliver had put distance between them in an attempt to keep himself closed off, but she couldn't let him continue with these poisonous thoughts.

"Tommy was right… I should have died on that island…"

Felicity stopped in her tracks about a foot from where he stood, her heart sunk in her chest. "No, Oliver, don't you dare say that!" she practically yelled, unable to take his self-loathing any longer.

It got his attention. He turned around and stared at her, startled. "If you think any of this is your fault, you are sorely mistaken! You did nothing wrong. I was the one who suggested hacking into Merlyn Global's mainframe. I was the one who put the Trojan onto the servers which led Malcolm to move the devices before we got a chance to find them. If I had covered my tracks a little better, this wouldn't have happened. So if anyone fucked up, it was me!"

Felicity was panting as she stared up at him, fire in her blue eyes. She hadn't expected the sudden outburst any more than he had, and was glad to finally get it off her chest. But all Oliver did was stare, his expression unreadable. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she waited for him to say something, but he remained mute.

"Oliver, this is  _not_  your fault," Felicity continued, refusing to let him feel guilty or continue to blame himself for what happened. Her guard came down as the words spilled from her mouth. "If anything, you were the one who discovered what was happening and tried to do something about it. If it wasn't for you and that list, tens of thousands of people would be dead right now and half the city would be gone. You helped save so many lives by exposing the Undertaking. Don't think for a second you did anything wrong. You did everything _right_."

"You think I did everything right?" he asked, a grim laugh twisting his face. "You think not being able to stop Malcolm Merlyn from destroying the Glades was right?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" she argued.

"Then what are you saying, Felicity?" Oliver countered, his eyes boring into her.

"I'm saying you sacrificed a whole lot today in order to save lives. You put everything on the line to try and  _stop_  Malcolm Merlyn from destroying the Glades. And that's what is important. Just because you didn't succeed doesn't mean you failed. You saved people. You managed to get your mother to admit, on live TV, what the Undertaking was and that he was behind it. That alone should say something."

"It doesn't say anything. It still says I failed."

"Well, what if we went back and tried to fix things? You know, do some charity work, help restore the city? A little good goes a long way, especially when you're looking for a way to 'repent for your sins', which it seems like you are, even though I don't think you've done anything wrong," Felicity babbled, but the cold stare she received from Oliver told her it had the opposite effect.

"You sound like Laurel." His voice was raw and rough and cut her deeper than she expected.

Being compared to the woman Oliver put on a pedestal wasn't what Felicity had been looking for. She knew it was what he did when he wanted to push someone away: say whatever it took to hurt them so they'd leave on their own. But she wasn't about to let him do it to her. Not when there were so many things left unsaid between them.

After taking a deep calming breath, Felicity found her second wind and replied, "Oliver, please don't shut me out. We need to talk about this. I know you only seem to see yourself as dark and damaged, but you're not. There's good inside you. I've always seen that good inside you. It's what I was so drawn to when we first met. And I know that if you can get past this darkness, you can do so much more than just cross names off that list. You have the potential to be this hero that I've always believe you to be."

So many emotions crossed Oliver's face that she couldn't tell which one he would finally settle on. The weight of her words drew a long, deafening silence between them. Felicity held her breath as he closed his eyes. She knew what was going to happen even before he opened them, so she braced herself. The look in blue eyes was colder than ice when they settled on her.

"You need to leave," Oliver's measured tone forced Felicity to step back.

"But…" she tried to argue, but that gaze was enough to stop anyone in their tracks.

"Felicity, leave," he growled.

She took it as her cue to turn around and hobble out the door. It slammed behind her and she crossed the short distance to her car in the cold night air. A chill ran up her spine as she unlocked the doors and got inside. As she turned the engine and pulled out of the driveway, the wave of emotions Felicity had been holding in finally came crashing over her.

Tears stung her eyes as she drove back towards town. Moonlight illuminated her path down the seaside road until she reached the forest. She didn't have much time to dwell on them as a phone began to ring, startling her out of her misery.

Felicity squeaked her surprise before she looked down to find Oliver's cell phone still in the cup holder where they'd left it. 'But if his phone was in here and mine is still at the foundry…' The question in her mind went unanswered as she picked it up and looked at the screen to see who it was. Relief flooded through her when she saw the name on the caller ID.

"Dig! Thank god! You have no idea how relieved I am!" Felicity practically shouted into the phone.

"Felicity, you okay?" Diggle sounded worried, and for good reason. She hadn't seen him since he and Oliver left to deal with Merlyn.

"Yeah, a little worse for wear, but I'm okay," she answered, wiping the tears that still clung to her lashes.

"What about Oliver?"

"He's fine. Are you okay?" It was Felicity's turn to worry. Even though Oliver had told her he was fine, the question of what had happened to him still lingered.

"Nothing a few stitches and some rest won't heal. Where are you guys? I check the club and the mansion, but didn't find you. I got worried when neither one of you answered your phones."

"Well, my phone is still under Verdant, and obviously I'm using Oliver's, which we accidentally left in the car for the last… day or so. How it's still got a charge, I have no idea. I'm gonna need to plug it in…"

"Felicity, you're rambling," Diggle pointed out before she got ahead of herself. "Where are you guys?"

"We're… come to think of it, I have no idea where we are," she answered. Felicity hadn't thought to check and see where they were. It hadn't been a top priority. "All I know is that we drove north for a few hours and we ended up at this beach house that Oliver apparently owns."

"The one in Astoria?"

"That would be it," Felicity replied as she saw the sign that said, "Welcome to Astoria" just as she was entering the small town. "And the sign confirms it," she added. Of course he would know where it was, she thought to herself. Felicity mentally scolded herself for not doing a thorough search on Oliver herself. She'd gone through some of his personal records before feeling guilty for prying, but this should have been something she would notice off the bat.

"Is Oliver with you right now?"

"No, he's at the house. I… went to pick something up from town." It wasn't exactly the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. They were running low on some medical supplies, so finding a pharmacy or general store seemed like a good idea. That was, if Oliver would let her back in.

Still, Felicity felt bad for not being able to tell him what was going on. It had more to do with her inability to sort through the feelings than it did talking about Oliver's harsh words. She'd always been able to share this kind of stuff with Diggle, but this time, the words had cut so deep she didn't know how to process them.

"Well, as long as you two are safe, that's all that matters." He seemed not to notice she was holding back. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're good," Felicity reassured him as she drove down Main Street and into the center of town.

"It's probably better for Oliver to stay out there a little while, until things settle down here."

"Why?" The admission caught Felicity off guard. But the sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach told her she already knew the answer.

"Mentioning the Queen family pisses a lot of people off."

"I can imagine…" It wasn't a stretch, though. After Moira's confession, Felicity could easily see the animosity people would have towards Oliver's family.

"You and Oliver stay safe, okay? I'll hold down the fort until you come back."

"Sounds good."

And with that, the phone call ended. Felicity looked around to find she'd stopped in front of the diner. Her stomach growled and she realized for the first time she was very hungry.


	3. Encroaching Darkness

Felicity parked her car in a spot right in front of the diner. Glancing in her rear view mirror, she noticed the ashen tone her skin had turned as the light faded into darkness. Her shoulder was an angry shade of black and violet, something she needed to cover so no one would notice or ask questions. The last thing she wanted was to be questioned about where she'd gotten her bruises.

It was out of pure protectiveness for Oliver that she'd thought about that at all. Even after he'd been so cruel to her, she still felt the need to keep his secrets, most of all where he was at this moment considering the conversation she'd just had with Diggle.

Laid out on the backseat of her car was the beige trench coat she kept in case of inclement weather. Her left shoulder protested wildly when she reached back to grab it then put it on. Even buttoning it seemed futile as the pain shot from her joint throughout the rest of her body. She threw her keys into one of the pockets then opened her glove box to find her phone charger. Plugging Oliver's phone into it, she let it sit in the cup holder hoping by the time she was done inside at least a quarter of the battery would be full. Then it was one last glance in the mirror to make sure she looked okay and she was headed inside.

Taking a moment to compose herself, Felicity let out a nervous breath and prayed no one would notice just how out of place she was in this little town. She exited her car and entered the diner. It was warm, a stark contrast from the bone chilling cold that had fallen now that night had come, and cozy with a long counter, booths decked out in chrome and red leather, and a juke box in the corner playing music from the 60's. The scent of French fries invaded her nose and immediately she began to salivate as her stomach growled audibly.

Felicity stepped up to the counter and took a seat. There was always a stash of cash inside the interior pocket of her coat, which she checked for good measure. No need to look like a fool right now, especially since she'd left her purse, wallet and cell phone back at the foundry. A shudder involuntarily ran through her body at the thought of that place. Images of the previous night wiggled their way to the forefront of her mind and it took all of Felicity's will power to push them back.

"What can I get you, darling?" the woman behind the counter strode up to her and asked. The black name tag on her pink bowling shirt read 'LIV'. She looked to be in her late 50's to early 60's with short brown hair styled in a bob that flared out at the bottom. Her warm smile and kind brown eyes eased some of the tension in Felicity's body, but she still didn't let down her guard.

"Can I get a cheeseburger and fries?" Felicity replied, keeping her head down and eyes barely peeking above the rim of her glasses.

"Sure, no problem. Anything else?"

Felicity thought for a moment. Her mind settled on Oliver. Yes, he'd been pretty awful to her that evening, but she couldn't help feeling sorry for him. Many of the things she'd said were well intentioned, but ill received by a man who was in more pain that she could possibly imagine. All she'd wanted was for him to see the good in himself, but thinking back on it now, Oliver needed time to process everything that had happened this past week.

Taking into account his mother's betrayal and the fact that it led to the death of his best friend wasn't something a person could get over in a day, let alone a week, especially one as fragile as Oliver. He'd already been through five years of hell on a desolate island. Coming back to find out the rug had been pulled out from under his feet was going to take a hell of a lot of time and probably some intense therapy.

Felicity sighed; she needed to apologize and food was always a good first step. "Can you make that two cheeseburgers with fries, to go please?" she asked the woman.

"Of course," "LIV" replied before turning towards the kitchen and giving the order to the cook. "They'll be out in a few minutes. You just sit tight. Would you like anything to drink while you wait?"

"Some water would be great," Felicity said. Within moments a tall glass of ice water was placed in front of her along with a straw. She nodded her thanks before gulping down almost half of it in one go. It had been quite some time since she'd had anything substantial to eat or drink. The half glass of water she'd had with the ibuprofen was only an afterthought.

"Slow down, sweetheart, you're gonna get a head rush if you drink like that," an older gentleman who'd been seated two seats down the counter startled Felicity. The need to bolt out of there became overwhelming, and all she could do to keep herself from flying out the door was put down the glass and blush profusely.

It hadn't been her intention to drink so much. She was only now beginning to understand how dehydrated and desperate for nourishment her body was. The smell of the burgers cooking was really making her head spin. Maybe she should order something for right now…?

"Habit," Felicity stammered before unwrapping the straw and sticking it in the cup in hopes of stemming her almost obscene need for hydration. Even with half the glass gone, her mouth felt dry.

Felicity glanced over at him. He appeared to be in his mid 50's with salt and pepper hair and eyes the color of the sea. A thick black leather jacket covered is upper body while stone washed blue jeans and black leather boots finished off the old biker dude appearance he seemed to have going on. Except he didn't look like a biker. He looked more like kind older gentleman in clothes he felt comfortable in.

"Where are my manners?" he said. "I'm Peter Isenberg, but everybody calls me Doc."

For some reason, he reminded her of Oliver when they first met. His kind eyes and smile eased her tension and she finally said, "Felicity."

"New in town or just vacationing?" Doc asked.

"Um…" Felicity's mind wasn't used to coming up with good cover stories on a whim. That's what Oliver was for, but she finally replied, "Vacationing."

"Definitely chose a fine week to come out here. The forecast's calling for rain the next few days." His jovial smile and remarks continued to ease the tension she felt being injured and all alone in an unfamiliar place. At least the feeling of wanting to bolt without grabbing her food was easing.

"I guess choosing a beach house wasn't the best idea." Felicity instantly bit her tongue realizing she'd said too much. Inwardly cursing herself for having no mental filter, she turned away and took another long gulp of water from her glass hoping he didn't pick up on her nervousness.

Even if he did, Doc didn't show it. "Well, the beach can be pretty gorgeous, even in a rainstorm," he said, "especially when there's lightning. You can see if coming for miles. It's quite the sight."

"I bet," Felicity replied. She was still too scared to look back at him, so she finished her water, but before she could even look up to find the waitress, "LIV" had already stopped by to refill her glass. She gave the older woman a grateful smile before taking another sip.

"So, which cottage you staying in?"

Felicity nearly choked on her water. It was a question she'd been hoping to avoid. She knew she had a responsibility to keep Oliver's location a secret. If anyone found out he was in Astoria, the possibility of repercussions skyrocketed. No, she had to keep him safe, just as she'd kept him safe so many months ago when he'd come to her, bleeding and near death practically begging her to help him. She vowed back then she'd do everything in her power to keep his secrets, and now, more than ever, she was being put to the test.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Doc quickly apologized.

"I would prefer not to say," Felicity replied with a weak smile. She breathed a sigh of relief seeing as the old man knew he was overstepping his bounds.

"That's alright." He held up his hand and bowed his head.

"Order up!" the cook in the back yelled. Felicity's head shot up. Behind the counter she could see the meals she'd ordered, all boxed up and bagged with plastic silverware and napkins.

"That'll be fifteen dollars, dear," "LIV" said as she placed it on the counter.

Felicity set down a twenty and said, "Keep the change," before taking one last large gulp of her water and grabbing the food. As she stepped off the seat she'd taken, her right leg gave. It had probably been from the way she'd sat, half her butt resting on the seat while the other half stood, that caused this problem. Although she recovered quickly, Felicity could feel all eyes were on her. The red flush returned to her cheeks as she tried to nervously laugh it off, but it was no use.

"You alright?" Doc asked. He was already off his chair and at her side. Jeez, the parallels between him and Oliver were strikingly similar and it was getting a little unnerving.

"I'm fine," Felicity responded as she straightened up and began limping her way to the door.

"You don't look okay," he observed. His searching eyes led her to believe he knew more than he let on. Felicity ground her teeth, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Foot fell asleep," she lied, shaking it out in an attempt to show him she was fine. But the pain caused her to flinch, something he was keen to notice.

Doc put a hand on Felicity's left shoulder to try and help her get her balance, but she cried out and pushed herself away from him. The entire diner was now looking at her in stunned silence and concern. Felicity could feel her heart thumping against her chest as she tried to quell the fear that was obvious on her face. In all likelihood, she probably looked like a deer caught in headlights as she glanced around wide eyed and panting.

"Whoa, hey, stay calm. I'm not gonna hurt you," Doc reassured her as he placed a gentle hand on her right forearm. Felicity's eyes shot to his finding genuine caring and concern staring back at her. "Take a couple deep breaths for me," he continued talking in a soothing voice.

Doing as she was told, Felicity took several deep breaths in and out as Doc led her to a more secluded area of the diner far away from the prying eyes of the other patrons who were still staring at her in pity and concern. "Here, sit," he said, pulling out a chair for her.

The feeling of being trapped overwhelmed Felicity as she took several ragged breaths before realizing she was far away from the rest of the people inside the diner. Doc had taken a seat in a chair beside her and had his fingers on the pulse point in her wrist. "Your heartbeat's still a little too fast for my liking, but it's coming down," he said.

Felicity just stared at him, wide eyed and slack jawed. The panic slowly subsided leaving her light headed and dazed. Her head throbbed as she put a shaking hand to her temple and rubbed it to relieve some of the pain. Glancing over at Doc, she could see the overwhelming concern he projected. There was something about the look in his eyes that told her she had nothing to be afraid of.

"Now, they don't call me Doc for nothing," he said. "I've been the town MD for nearly thirty years now. I know when something's ailing you. So, tell me, Felicity, what's got you hurting?"

"I'm… I'm fine… really," she stammered. "My friend already took care of everything."

There wasn't much else Felicity wanted to say. Her heart raced with fear that this older man, this  _doctor_ , was trying to help her when all she wanted to do was get back to Oliver. She knew she looked a little worse for wear at the moment with her hair in a tangled ponytail at the back of her head and her legs covered in dust. Then the sudden realization hit her. What if Doc thought she was being abused? This was the worst possible scenario she could have imagined.

"Can I at least take a look and see what kind of job he did?" Doc was being very gentle and patient with her, something Felicity hadn't expected.

Several long moments passed between them. Felicity contemplated her options. By the looks of it, Doc hadn't made any move to ask her about where she'd gotten her injuries so there was a strong chance he wasn't going to any time soon. She figured he was one of those people that wouldn't say a word unless it was absolutely necessary.

"If you're afraid of me saying something about it, I promise you, unless you give me a reason to worry, I won't." Doc seemed to know exactly what she'd been thinking. Again, he gave her a gentle smile and Felicity finally relented. She drew up her trench coat and showed him the wound along the right side of her leg.

"Well, at least he closed it up well, but I still think you should get stitches and a tetanus shot." The wide eyed terror she gazed at him with made him pause. "If not tonight, then tomorrow. I don't want that big of a wound going without treatment for too long. For all I know it might already have been too long. But seeing as you're grabbing dinner for two, I think its best you head off to your friend."

Felicity let out a relieved breath as she pulled the trench coat back down over her legs and started to stand. She was still shaky, but after a few moments, the tremors subsided and she began to make her way towards the door, her dinner tucked under her arm. He walked a few steps behind her making sure she didn't fall. Although it felt unnecessary, she was grateful nonetheless. Her legs still felt slightly wobbly.

"Please, if it gets any worse, don't hesitate to call me," Doc said as he pulled out a card from his coat pocket and handed it to her. "I'm here in town while the closest hospital is over thirty miles away."

Hesitantly, she took the card from him and slipped it into her pocket. "Thank you," Felicity barely whispered as she pushed the door open and a rush of cold air hit her face. Fumbling to find her keys in her coat pocket, she unlocked the door and got inside placing the bag with her dinner on the front seat. Doc remained at the diner door, watching her as she pulled out of the parking space, the concern present in his blue eyes.

With steady resolve, Felicity drove out of town and back into the forest towards the beach house. But something was off.  _She_  felt off. A sudden heavy feeling settled over her body. She felt tired and sluggish as she continued to drive in the darkness, the only light coming from her headlights and the indicators on her dash.

To combat the feeling, Felicity turned on the radio. Static shot through the speakers at first, startling her, so she scanned through the stations until she found one that was clear. It was a classical station playing one of her favorite songs, "Clair De Lune" by Claude Debussy. She hummed along to the tune, focusing on the crisp and soothing piano notes as they filtered through her speakers in an attempt to keep calm.

It didn't last though, as Oliver's phone began to ring in the cup holder. Felicity jumped and snatched it up to see who was calling. Thea's photo and number had popped up on the screen. She contemplated whether or not to answer, but chose to do so knowing she was probably frantically searching for her brother.

"Hello?" Felicity hesitantly said after she pressed the call button.

"Who is this?" The shaking in Thea's voice was evident. It sounded very much like she was trying to keep it together but failing when it wasn't her brother on the other end.

"It's Felicity. I'm a friend of Oliver's," she tried to soothe the teenager to the best of her ability.

"Where's Ollie? Why do you have his phone? Is he okay?" Thea's voice cracked in the midst of her rapid fire questions. Felicity could tell she was frantic.

"Yes, he's fine," she reassured the younger Queen. "He's back at the cottage resting." It was a half truth, but at least it wasn't a lie.

"The cottage? Wait, he's in Astoria?" She sounded a bit shocked, but not as surprised as Felicity was expecting. If anything she figured Thea was probably shocked more by the fact that she'd answered the phone.

Felicity found herself nodding before she replied, "Yes." She didn't fear Thea knowing their whereabouts. If anything, maybe it was best that she knew. At least it would ease her mind some. The poor girl had lost her father already, and now her mother was in jail.

"Tell him I'm on my way and I'll be there soon." And with that, Thea hung up before Felicity got a chance to say a word.

"Well, shit…" she muttered, throwing the phone onto the seat next to the boxed up burgers. Jeez, they were really starting to smell good now. Again, her stomach rumbled.

Felicity sighed. Maybe it was for the best that Thea came to stay with them. After Diggle's warning about the unrest in Starling City regarding the Queen family, she knew if Thea stayed, something could possibly happen to her.

'It's better this way,' Felicity thought to herself. She just needed to stay as tight lipped as possible, even though the young girl was pretty keen on things and had intelligence that rivaled her brother. 'Great, she's going to see right through me…'

Felicity's hands still shook so she held onto the steering wheel a little tighter. The entire night had her on edge, so when the trees gave way to the moonlit ocean and sandy beaches, relief flooded through her. The little white and grey house quickly approached to her right. She pulled into the driveway then turned off the car before placing Oliver's half charged phone into her pocket, and got out. In doing so, her vision dotted with black spots.

Felicity put her hand on the hood in an attempt to steady herself as she closed her eyes, waiting for the spots to disappear. Once they were gone, she staggered to the door and pulled out the house key she'd hung onto. Oliver was standing at the window when she stepped in looking out at the darkness across the ocean almost as if he hadn't moved since she left. But he'd changed into black sweats and had put on a grey t-shirt indicating that he had been upstairs.

"Oliver," Felicity said as he turned to gaze at her. She took a few more steps into the room before her vision began to tunnel. The light headed feeling returned as the sound of his voice became muddled. Had he said her name? She wasn't sure. She could barely hear a word he said before she lost her bearings and began to sway. Then, everything went black.


	4. A Helping Hand

Hushed whispers, a hand softly stroking her hair, the feel of a cool pillow beneath her head; those were the first things Felicity noticed when she regained consciousness. Soon after, other things came into focus. She was lying on her back with her head raised up. Something was pressed to her right leg where she should have felt pain, but there was none. Her eyes shot open.

"Hey," Oliver's soft voice above her nearly made Felicity jump. "Shh, stay still," he soothed as his hand stroked her hair again.

"Oliver… What happened…? What's… what's going on?" Felicity mumbled. She felt dazed, as if a fog had settled over her brain and had yet to dissipate. Her eyes darted all over the room but she couldn't focus. Her head still spun like a top. She closed her eyes again.

"You're okay," Oliver whispered. "You fainted. When was the last time you ate something?"

"Huh?" Felicity's eyes opened slightly. "Um… I don't know… Lunch maybe the day of the…" She couldn't bring herself to say the rest. Her mind brought up images of the destruction and devastation by just thinking about it. They left her feeling guilty and heartbroken.

"Doc says your blood sugar is really low which was probably why you passed out." Oliver's voice was the only thing tethering her to the present. If he hadn't been there, Felicity knew she'd lose herself to the memories. But his startling admission made her heart race as her eyes flew open. Diggle's warning shot to the forefront of her mind.

"What? Doc? He's here?"

"That's right." His voice startled her. She looked down to find Doc placing one final stitch along her leg wound. Unable to watch, Felicity's eyes found their way back to Oliver. She realized she was laying in his lap as she looked up at him. Her heart was racing as a million and one questions flooded her mind.

"Oliver…" The panic in her voice startled him as he gazed down at her, his brows knotting in worry. "Dig… he said…"

"Shh, I know. I already talk to him. He called the house while you were gone. Everything's okay. Doc is an old friend. We can trust him," Oliver reassured her as his fingers continued to caress her hair and her forehead. Felicity tried to sit up, but he quickly clamped a hand on her good shoulder. "Whoa, stay still. I don't want you ripping out the IV."

"What?" She looked down at her arms and sure enough, there was a needle sticking out the inside of her left elbow attached to a thin plastic tube that ran up to a bag Oliver held in his other hand just over his shoulder. "But… why?"

"You're dehydrated too."

"Jeez, what isn't wrong with me?" Felicity muttered before closing her eyes again as his hand came to rest against the top of her head. She was getting dizzy again. This was too much for her food deprived brain to handle at the moment.

"Well, your shoulder isn't dislocated and you don't have an infection," Doc answered. She glanced at him as he pulled off his latex gloves and dropped them into a trash can at his side.

Some time while she'd been unconscious, she figured Oliver must have found his number in her coat pocket and called him. He'd probably also given Doc a rundown of her injuries as well allowing him to assess them properly, unlike when she was at the diner refusing medical attention.

"You're all stitched and bandaged up," Doc said. "I gave you a tetanus shot while you were out along with some local anesthetic that should wear off in a few hours. Try to keep the wound as dry as possible, but you can still take a shower. Other than that, keep it clean with one part peroxide, one part water, and those stitches should be able to come out in two weeks."

Felicity nodded in understanding. For the first time in a really long time, she felt relieved. They had done a good job cleaning her wound, but her concern now turned to his injury. She gazed up at him, eyes soft with worry, and asked, "What about you?"

"What about me?" Oliver retorted. He was being intentionally evasive. She could see he wanted no medical attention outside his own, but after all that had happened, there was no way she'd allow it, especially since there was a possibility it was infected.

"Please, Oliver, just have him look at it," Felicity begged. She attempted to sit up again, mindful of the needle in her arm this time. With Doc's help, she placed her feet up on the coffee table and gazed over at Oliver, her eyes wrought with worry. "I don't know if I have the strength to keep patching you up right now," she whispered.

Her words hit home. She could see it in his eyes. Oliver nodded, and as Doc sat on the coffee table waiting, he pulled his t-shirt over his head then peeled off the bandage just above his heart while Felicity helped him with the one at his back.

"Jesus…" Doc hissed, the alarm clear in his voice. "How are you not dead?" Oliver and Felicity exchanged glances as he slipped on another pair of gloves.

"Luck?" Oliver snickered. Felicity glared at him.

She, too, was curious as to how he got that wound in such a precarious location, but whatever had caused it, Felicity knew it somehow missed every single vital organ and artery. Something told her that this wasn't luck. It looked as if Oliver might have done it himself judging by its placement. The thought sent a chill down her spine. 'Why would he do that to himself?' she wondered. Felicity made a point to find out once the doctor was gone.

"There is some slight discoloration around the edges, but it looks to be healing," Doc observed, knocking her out of her thoughts. "I don't think you need stitches, but this should help." He pulled a small box out of the brown leather bag at his feet and handed it to Oliver. Inside was a tube of ointment with directions on usage. "It's basically high powered Neosporin. Apply this with every bandage change and it should cut down healing time." He turned to Felicity and added, "Same goes for you, young lady."

"Yes, sir," she softly replied. He pulled one more thing out of his bag and handed it to her. It was a dark blue sling with white trim and straps for her arm.

"This should help ease some of your shoulder pain as well," Doc said. The strap clipped at the front allowing her arm to slip into it easily without having to lift her shoulder. Before he put it on her, Doc took the IV out of her arm. "Make sure you take the pain meds I've left for both of you so you're comfortable and keep icing your shoulder periodically. It should keep the swelling down and lessen your pain some more."

"Thank you," Felicity said, grateful for the relief she already felt now that both she and Oliver had been properly taken care of.

"You're welcome, both of you," Doc replied as he stood up, discarding his gloves into the trash can. With his bag in hand, he started to make his way towards the door. "You two take care of yourselves, and Oliver, please don't be a stranger. It's been nearly twenty years since I last saw you. Liv and I have sorely missed you and your family. You should come around more often and see us."

"I know, Doc. I'll try to come back again sometime soon. We'll be here for a while longer so maybe I'll stop at the diner and see Liv in the next couple of days," Oliver said as he shook the older man's hand.

"She'll appreciate it. She misses you. Hearing you were back in town, she wanted to come down with me to see you, but I told her this was business and that it was better for her to stay home," Doc explained as they made their way to the door. Oliver held it open for him as he exited. "Anyway, if you need anything or if your injuries get any worse, please don't hesitate to call me; I'm right down the road." And with that, Doc was out the door leaving Oliver and Felicity alone again in the small house.

Silence descended upon the living room as she stared down at her hands. Having had many of her questions answered about Doc and if he could be trusted, Felicity felt slightly relieved that this man had once been an important part of Oliver's life. Now that he was gone, it left the two of them in a precarious position.

Felicity was still uncertain about how to broach the subject of her fight with Oliver. She wanted to apologize for pushing him, but the timing didn't feel right, not after what had just happened. If anything she felt the need to apologize for putting him through hell first. Fainting had definitely not been on her to do list when she got back.

When a blanket fell over her shoulders, Felicity nearly jumped. She was beginning to notice this happened quite often now. Every little noise or sudden movement made her want to crawl out of her skin. The psychological effects of what had happened in the Glades were finally starting to show through the cracks of her psyche. It was a troubling prospect, one she didn't want to dwell on right now.

Oliver sat down beside her, his blue eyes falling on her profile as she continued to stare down at her hands. They were cold and trembled slightly. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his fingers brushing over hers, but she scooted away and slipped her hand around her waist.

"Don't be," Felicity quietly replied. "If anyone needs to be sorry, it's me." She still couldn't bring herself to look at him. The conflicting feelings that bounced around in her head made it hard for Felicity to focus. She had so many things to say, but nothing really wanted to come out of her mouth.

"Why?" Oliver asked.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she answered. "I had no idea I was that hungry."

"Are you hungry now?" The thought of food instantly made Felicity's stomach growl. She didn't have to answer; Oliver was already making his way to the kitchen. "I'll heat up those burgers you brought from the diner," he said.

"Wait, how did you know…?"

Oliver had his hand on the stainless steel refrigerator ready to pull it open before he turned and replied, "I knew you'd gotten that card I found in your coat somewhere. Doc told me he met you there and that you were ordering for two, so…" Felicity nodded before Oliver could finish his thought. There was another long, awkward silence that passed between them.

"Right, anyway…" Felicity felt the need to fill the space with something to keep her mind occupied. If the silence continued, she felt other less savory thoughts would fill her brain.

"Why don't you go upstairs and change into something else? I think there might be some clothes up there that'll fit you," Oliver suggested.

Felicity nodded. Gingerly setting her feet down on the hardwood floor, she began to stand up only to start feeling dizzy. She swayed before putting a hand on the armrest of the couch to keep from toppling over. Within that span of a few seconds Oliver was at her side again, his arm wrapping around her waist to steady her.

"Maybe you should eat first," he said as he held her against his side.

"No, I really need to get out of these clothes," Felicity replied. She was done being reminded of all the things that had happened over the past two days. It was about time she shed the final remnants of that fateful day.

With Oliver's help, they headed towards the staircase. Just thinking about the Glades made her head spin and she needed a distraction. Their guest provided the perfect out. "So… How well do you know Doc?" Felicity asked.

"He was our family physician for as long as I can remember. He'd seen me enough times to fill a three ring binder with the amount of trouble I'd get myself into on the beach and in the forest," Oliver candidly answered to her surprise. She wasn't expecting him to be so forthcoming with information about his past, but decided now would be a good time to see how far she could take this conversation.

"And you trust him?" she asked.

"Yes, just like I trust you and Dig. He and his wife, Liv, have always been good to my family. They wouldn't tell a soul we were here," he said.

Felicity nodded as they ascended the stairs. "Well, I trust you, so any friend of yours is a friend of mine," she replied with a half smile.

They had reached the master bedroom and Oliver eased her onto the bed before throwing open the doors to the walk in closet. He pulled out an oversized white t-shirt and a pair of navy board shorts from it. "Are these okay?" he asked, handing them to her.

"Yeah, they're fine," Felicity replied as she took them from his hand.

"I'll be right outside if you need me," Oliver said before he left the room so she could change in peace.

"What about…" Felicity's voice trailed off. She wasn't about to ask Oliver Queen to find her some underwear. He paused for a moment at the door and stared at her. "Never mind," she added, figuring she'd just go commando tonight. He left without another word. Tomorrow, after things had settled down a bit, she'd look for the unmentionables.

Slipping her arm out of the sling, Felicity set about trying to take the tattered dress off by herself. She only succeeded in touched the zipper with her right hand, but being unable to pull it down because it kept getting stuck in a wrinkle along her back. Her left hand was useless. Just moving it caused pain to shoot through her limb and straight through the rest of her body.

Frustrated that she couldn't do anything by herself, Felicity sat on the bed and took several deep breaths to calm down. She was about to do the last thing she wanted to do. "Oliver!" she called out. He was standing in front of her seconds later. As she gazed down at her lap in shame, Felicity mumbled, "Can you help me?"

"Yeah, sure," Oliver replied. She stood slowly and turned around, pulling her hair away from her neck when he reached for the zipper. As he dragged it down, her cheeks began to redden. Suddenly, this was really becoming a bad idea. These weren't the circumstances under which Felicity imagined Oliver taking her clothes off. The thought was immediately banished from her mind. This was  _not_  the time to be thinking those thoughts.

When the zipper reached the small of her back, his hands came up and began slipping the straps down her shoulders. Felicity quickly stepped away and said, "Whoa, there! I'm good. You can go now." Oliver had already done enough in five minutes to kick start her dreams for the next few years. Things didn't need to get any more awkward between them.

"Sorry," Oliver mumbled before he walked out of the room again. She could see the flush on his face as he ducked his head to hide his embarrassment. It almost matched hers in color and intensity. At least he felt some remorse for what he'd done. It made Felicity wonder just how many times he'd been in this position before: unzipping a woman's dress for reasons other than to help her due to injury. Again, it was a thought immediately pushed out of her mind.

Felicity carefully wiggled her way out of the dress. With Oliver having slipped the straps down off her shoulders, it made things a little easier for her and although it still felt awkward, she was grateful he'd done it. She kicked the dress to the side before taking off her simple white cotton bra and matching panties. The weight that seemed to lift off her shoulders once she got rid of her clothes felt immense. They had become a symbol of the worst tragedy she'd ever experienced. Now all that was left was to burn them.

Setting about the task of getting redressed, Felicity put the board shorts on first. She drew the string as tight as it would go around her tiny waist, but even then they were still loose on her. At least they didn't fall off her hips. The t-shirt would be a challenge, though. With her right hand, she managed to get one sleeve on and slipped it over her head to cover her body. Her left shoulder protested the moment she began to lift it into the other sleeve. Letting out a cry of frustration, she stopped only to find Oliver rushing in to help her again.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his eyes filled with worry.

"I can't get my left arm into the sleeve," Felicity grumbled as she glared down at it.

"Let me help you," Oliver offered. She hesitated for a moment. They'd already been through one awkward encounter in these past few minutes. She didn't want another one. Somehow he'd managed to read her mind and added, "I promise I won't do anything unless you tell me to."

"Fine," Felicity relented. Her right arm dropped to the side while the left remained bent at her waist.

"Bend your arm up at the elbow and I'll pull the shirt down so you don't have to move it too much," Oliver said. Following his instructions, Felicity did as she was told and surprisingly, it worked without her being in too much pain.

"Well, I'll have to remember that for next time," she said as she slipped her arm back into the sling and clipped it into place. Felicity steadied herself against the wall intending to walk down the stairs on her own until Oliver's hand came around her waist. She looked up at him, their eyes locking for a few moments as several unspoken emotions passed between them. Felicity had to look away before she got too caught up in that gaze. The fear of uttering something stupid forced her to grab the railing in order to clear her mind.

Together they descended the stairs back to the living room. This time, silence fell between them. There were so many things running through Felicity's mind that she didn't know what to say first. She just knew now wasn't the time. When they reached the last step, a knock at the front door grabbed Oliver's attention.

"Stay here," he whispered, his body tense with anticipation as he quietly stalked towards the door.

"It's Thea," Felicity sighed, realizing she had completely forgotten to tell him that his sister would be joining them tonight.

The tension in Oliver's body unfurled as he turned back to Felicity and asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I kind of passed out, so…" She stopped as Oliver pulled the door open. Thea stood there in a black hoodie and dirt covered blue jeans, her eyes overrun with tears and her face smudged with dust.

"Ollie?" she whimpered before throwing her backpack to the floor and launching herself into her brother's arms.

From the bottom of the staircase Felicity watched the tender moment unfold. Oliver wrapped his arms around his sister, bringing her in for a tight hug that lasted well over a minute as she cried softly against his chest. "Oh, thank God. I was so scared something happened to you," Thea wept before pulling away. She surveyed him for a moment and noticed the bandage just over his heart. "Oh, god, something did happen to you!" she cried.

"Thea, I'm fine," Oliver reassured her in the calmest voice Felicity had ever heard from him. "It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"What happened, Ollie? Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. It's like after I called to tell you about Mom's press conference you dropped off the face of the earth. Do you have any idea how scared I was? Dad's dead, Mom's in prison, Walter's gone, and Roy… I don't even know where he is! You're all I had left and I couldn't find you!" Thea was practically yelling now as she glared up at her brother with angry blue eyes. Tears spilled down her cheeks as her emotions ranged from relieved to confused to angry in the span of a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." Oliver remained amazingly calm throughout her outburst, almost as if he'd been through more than his fair share of them in the past. He placed his hands on her shoulders and held her back for a few moments.

"And why didn't you answer your phone? I had to find out from your girlfriend where you were!"

Felicity cleared her throat. Two sets of eyes fell on her. "I'm not his girlfriend," she corrected. "We're just friends." She watched something flash in Oliver's eyes, but it disappeared as soon as he realized she was staring at him. Was it hurt? Felicity couldn't tell. All she could see now was the mask he so easily fit into place when his emotions got the best of him. She continued, "And I only answered his phone because it was in the cup holder of my car. I didn't realize he'd forgotten it there until you called as I was on my way back with dinner, which you are more than welcome to share with us."

"Dinner, huh?" Thea replied. "Blondie's got a point. I'm starving. What's for dinner?"

"Cold burgers," Oliver said as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Yummy!" Felicity could almost hear the brunette roll her eyes as she followed her brother.

Oliver turned to face her, his steady gaze taking in her dirty features. "Why don't you go upstairs and clean up?" he replied. "You look like crap, Speedy."

Felicity watched her bristle at the nickname and smiled. Although they'd only met once, she had a feeling Thea was an interesting character and they'd probably get along, if she could get past the fact that Oliver had brought her here.


	5. Reconnection

Thea grabbed her backpack off the floor and bounded past Felicity where she stood beside the staircase. She eyed the blonde for a moment before heading upstairs, her blue eyes regarding her with a look of interest and intent. It looked like the ones Oliver would give her every so often when she uncovered something about one of his targets. But Felicity stood her ground until the younger woman made her way up the stairs and disappeared out of sight.

Hearing the water begin running above them, Oliver had crossed the distance and now stood beside her. His eyes were a storm of emotions Felicity couldn't decipher, but when he spoke, she knew he was angry. "Why did you tell her we were here?" he hissed.

"You talked to Dig! It's not safe for either one of you in Starling City right now!" Felicity shot back, hoping to get her point across without having to shout at him.

"What are we supposed to tell her about us?" Oliver questioned.

"Like I said earlier, we're just friends," Felicity finitely answered as she pushed herself off the railing and began to make her way towards the kitchen.

Oliver wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her steady as she hobbled across the hardwood floor. "Thea's not going to accept that as an answer," he said.

"Well, she'd better, because that's all we are," Felicity firmly replied as she glared up at him.

There went that flash again and this time she could see it clear as day. It pained him when Felicity said they were just friends. What else could they be? It's not like they could even remotely be considered lovers, let alone boyfriend and girlfriend. Whatever was going on in Oliver's mind, it definitely struck her as odd, but right now wasn't the time to be focusing on that. They had a dilemma on their hands.

"We still need a cover story about how we got here and why," Oliver pointed out as he led Felicity to a chair and eased her into it. He took a seat beside her facing the staircase to watch for Thea.

"How is pretty easy, but why is all on you." Felicity sat back in her chair and crossed her good arm over her waist as she waited for Oliver to come up with a plan. He sat in quiet contemplation for the next few minutes, his eyes distant and looking well past her out into the moonlit night sky.

Felicity's mind began to wander as her eyes roamed over his features. Oliver still hadn't put on a shirt since Doc left, making him just as distracting as he always was at the foundry. The foundry… Her pulse began to quicken just thinking about that place and the events of the past few days. Immediately, Felicity's breathing became a little shallower as the darkness enveloped her mind. The fear she'd been trying to combat was quickly overtaking her.

It wasn't until a hand fell on her shoulder that Felicity was finally knocked back into the present. Her head whipped in Oliver's direction to find him staring at her, the worry having returned to his pale blue eyes. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," she quickly nodded before sitting up again. "Come up with a cover story yet?"

"We were at the club. You were securing the network and I was there, because, well, it's my club. I wanted to make sure you got out safe, but before you could finish, the earthquake began and we got stuck inside." Felicity couldn't focus much longer. The earthquake, getting stuck in the basement of Verdant, feeling trapped, helpless and alone… Her hands began to tremble. She squeezed them into fists and forced herself to listen to Oliver as he spoke. "…attacked us, which was how I got stabbed and you ended up with a separated shoulder and stitches."

"Sounds plausible," Felicity nodded, still trying to shake the feelings that were brewing inside her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She knew Oliver was very keen on reading people, and right now she felt like an open book. Closing her eyes, Felicity took in a deep, cleansing breath before slowly letting it out. "I'm fine," she slowly replied.

"You're not fine," Oliver stated.

"Yeah, well, neither are you, but you're content keeping it to yourself, so why don't we just avoid the whole issue like we've been avoiding it for the past few hours and not bring it up anymore. Okay?" Felicity snapped. For once she wasn't sorry for her outburst, nor was she embarrassed by it. If anything, she felt proud of being about to say what had been on her mind for so long.

Chancing a quick glance at Oliver, she could see the way his mouth hung open in shock at her words. "That stung, didn't it? Suddenly it's not fun getting a taste of your own medicine," she spat, her eyes narrowing. There was no mistaking the pain Felicity found in them, as well as the sadness and regret. She wouldn't let it get to her, though. She couldn't. The whole point of the outburst was to get Oliver to see he'd hurt her. If Felicity relented and gave in, it would have all been for nothing.

"Aw, you waited for me! That's so sweet," Thea said as she stepped down the stairs wearing an oversized pastel pink tank top with a black sports bra showing beneath and a pair of black yoga pants. She was quick to pick up on the tension in the room as Felicity's gaze immediately fell on her. "Ooh, lover's quarrel?" Thea teased as she flopped down in a chair across from Felicity.

Her eyes narrowed at the younger woman as Oliver excused himself from the table and headed into the kitchen leaving Felicity to fend for herself. "We're just friend," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Sure doesn't seem like it from where I'm sitting," Thea shot back with a smug smile.

"How about you leave our guest alone for a little while? She's had a really bad couple of days," Oliver was quick to interject. Felicity had a feeling he didn't want to deal with this line of questioning either.

But it seemed as if Thea was a dog with a bone. She wasn't giving up that easily. "Haven't we all?" she replied. Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she said, "My boyfriend is missing, my mother is in jail and I couldn't find my brother for nearly two days. I would say I've had a really bad couple of days myself." She narrowed her eyes at Oliver as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at her stoically from his perch against the kitchen counter as the microwave reheated their food.

"I'm sorry," Felicity said from across the table. It was about time she inserted herself into this conversation because if she didn't, she'd get dragged into it by force. At least now she had some control over what was being said to and about her.

"I like her, Ollie." There was still an undercurrent of sarcasm in Thea's voice as turned to Felicity and added, "So, what's your deal with my brother? Are you two friends with benefits or…"

"Thea!" It was the first time Felicity had heard Oliver raise his voice to her.

"Ooh, I hit a nerve! I guess you are!"

"We are most definitely not," Felicity scoffed matter-of-factly as she looked directly at the younger woman. Thea narrowed her eyes. "Just simple, run of the mill friends. Nothing else." She could understand the younger woman's skepticism. Thea still didn't know the real Oliver, the man who'd come back from the island a completely different person from the brother she once knew.

"My brother doesn't have girls who are just friends. They're either girlfriends or chicks he's sleeping with."

"I'm standing right here!" Oliver reminded her. They both glanced at him. Felicity couldn't help the wry grin that suddenly appeared on her face. He was beet red and giving his sister the death glare he reserved for those times when he was super angry at someone. "Felicity and I are just friends!" he yelled, trying very hard to emphasize the point, but falling short to his sister's cynicism.

"Then why did you bring her here?" Thea shot back.

"Because she was injured and bleeding!" Oliver was doing his best to defend his actions, but his sister was just as stubborn as he was.

"Why didn't you just take her to the hospital?"

"Because all the hospitals in the area were full."

"So you figured bringing her out here to the middle of nowhere was a good idea?" Thea rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I could believe your bull shit, Brother, but this time, it really does just sound like complete and total crap."

"Doc patched me up, actually," Felicity finally spoke up. She was getting tired of all the accusations flying around. It was time she stood up for herself. They both looked at her. "Separated shoulder and… How many stitches down my leg was it, Oliver?"

"Seven."

"Yes, seven stitches along my right leg. It was no picnic, especially since I fainted beforehand because I was dehydrated and my blood sugar was low. So I really hope that answers your questions because I'm starving and I just want to eat in peace." Felicity had reached the point where she was fed up with the conversation and just wanted it to end. Judging by the dumbfounded look on Thea's face, it had worked. Felicity tried her best to look angry, but she was too exhausted and hungry to manage. Thankfully the microwave signaled the food had been warmed up, refocusing her attention elsewhere.

Felicity gave Oliver a grateful smile as he set down a plate with her burger in front of her. The loud growl from her stomach as the scent wafted to her nose caught everyone off guard. Oliver chuckled as he set down his plate along with a knife before heading to the couch and retrieving his shirt.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you were hungry," Thea replied.

"Would you like some of my burger?" Felicity politely asked as she went to reach for the knife.

"No, you eat it. I'll just steal some of Ollie's," the brunette said. She made a quick grab for the knife before Felicity even got near it and began to cut into her brother's dinner.

"Thea!" Oliver grumbled as he took his seat between the two women and noticed his sister taking the lion's share of his food.

"What? I'm hungry too!" she shot back, taking a bite before he could grab it back.

Felicity couldn't help but smile at their friendly rivalry. The mood at the table had changed drastically now that she'd put her foot down regarding her relationship with Oliver. Thea's interest had shifted to dinner, but Felicity knew there would be more questions. She was ready, though.

"I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot," Thea murmured as she glanced up at Felicity.

"It's alright. I would be skeptical too if my brother brought some girl to his cottage after a disaster, but I don't have a brother so I wouldn't know what it's like. I don't have a sister either so… I'm just gonna stop right now because I've already said too much and my burger is getting cold…"

"You have a penchant for rambling, don't you?"

"Just a little," Felicity admitted, keeping her head down when she noticed the grin on Oliver's face.

"A little?" he snorted. "More like all the time. And some of the things that come out of her mouth would make a sailor blush."

Felicity shot him the dirtiest look she could muster in her weakened state, which wasn't much of a look. If anything, it had the opposite effect. Oliver's grin widened as Thea giggled beside him. "You're such an ass," Felicity muttered under her breath, taking another bite of her burger to try and hide the blush that was beginning to spread over her cheeks.

"Oh, my god, is she…?" Thea leaned over the table to get a better look at her. "She is! She's blushing! Oh, Ollie, she's too cute! Can we keep her? Please? Pretty please?" Although the brunette was making light of the situation, Felicity wasn't happy with the sudden turn of events.

"When did I become a puppy?" she shot back, irritated that somehow the two of them had managed to gang up on her. It was starting to feel like high school all over again, only this time the cliques were much smaller and she had no friends or teachers to turn to. Felicity pouted and threw her burger back onto her plate then slowly began to rise from the table.

"Oh, come on, Felicity," Oliver gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back into her seat. "We're just teasing you."

"It's not fair! I'm practically crippled and I have no way to defend myself!" she glowered, wrapping her good arm around her waist and keeping her head down.

Oliver's eyes suddenly turned serious as he gazed at her. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"So, speaking of being practically crippled, what fresh hell did Ollie drag you through?" Thea asked. "You look like you went toe to toe with a UFC fighter."

Felicity glanced over at Oliver and immediately wished she'd listened to him a little more closely when he'd told her about the plan. "Well, we were at the club," she started. "I was securing the network for him, you know, in case anything happened."

"What exactly do you do for my brother?" Thea cut in.

"I'm his IT specialist."

"So you're like a computer genius?"

"Something like that." Felicity gave her a weak smile. If only Thea knew the true extent of her hacking these past few months. Calling her a computer genius would almost be insulting.

A long pause lingered between them as Felicity tried to gather her thoughts. It was hard when Oliver Queen's baby sister was staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer to her original question. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Felicity said, "Anyway, so we were at the club and I was securing the network. We thought we had more time, but then…"

Her voice trailed off as her fears crept back in. She wasn't ready to talk about this. It was too much, too soon. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, but nothing worked to calm her. Felicity stood from the table. "Excuse me," she said. On shaky legs, she hobbled to the couch and lowered herself into it. She needed to get away from them for a moment and compose herself.

But Felicity felt numb. Her mind was stuck on a constant loop of past evening's events, replaying her fears over and over again until it was all she thought about. The tremors began soon after. Her entire body shook with the weight of the terror she'd witnessed and contributed to. Part of this was her fault. The what if's had returned and all she wondered was what she could have done differently to stop this all from happening.

When she looked up, Oliver was sitting across from her on the coffee table. His fingers wrapped around her shaking hand, gently squeezing it. "You're okay," he whispered, his hand coming to rest on her good shoulder. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes when she saw the genuine concern written all over his face. She wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around him, find the comfort she so desperately needed at that moment, but with Thea watching from the kitchen, Felicity just nodded before sitting back and rubbing a hand over her face.

"Today's been a rough day," Oliver said. "Why don't you get some rest?"

"Okay," Felicity whispered. Unclipping the sling from her arm, she gently eased it off and threw it to the coffee table with her good hand then took off her glasses and handed them to him so he could put them beside it. She stretched out along the soft cream fabric, her head falling against the pillow she'd laid on earlier that night. It wasn't easy to find a comfortable position with aches and pains on both sides of her body, but laying flat on her back proved to be the only way to quell the throbbing.

Oliver was kind enough to throw a blanket over her before Felicity snuggled in for the night. A heavy sigh escaped her lungs as she closed her eyes, but no matter how hard she tried, sleep wouldn't come. That pain of her injuries mingled with the overbearing fear she'd just experienced to create an environment that wasn't conducive to falling asleep. Her head tossed and turned from side to side, but quickly gave up.

Cracking an eye open, she found Oliver and Thea still sitting at the table quietly talking. She couldn't make out much of what they were saying, but it did sound like they were talking about her.

"Ollie, I know this girl means more to you than you're willing to admit, so please just cut the crap tonight and be straight with me," Thea was begging.

Oliver's deep sigh quickly drew Felicity's attention. "She is important to me. I care about her. But, lately, I've been a real dick to her," he replied. "I said some awful things this evening and I'm pretty sure she's still mad at me about that."

"Don't keep being a dick then," Thea surmised. "Apologize to her. Let her know you care. Because I can see that you do. You just need to get your head out of your ass and realize it."

Felicity was suddenly overjoyed that Thea had come to stay when she had. If this was what it took for Oliver to quit being so hard on himself, Felicity was more than happy to deal with their teasing.

"I know," he said. "I just… I don't know… I… I feel like I've already fucked things up beyond repair with her."

"You don't know that unless you talk to her. So, Oliver, tomorrow morning, I'm going to go into town and buy a crap ton of groceries while you and Felicity kiss and make up."

"Thea…" The warning was clear in Oliver's voice.

"I know, you're just friends. Do whatever you want, but make sure you apologize for being a gigantic asshat first."

"I will." Chairs were pushed out and Felicity quickly closed her eyes again, trying once more to find a comfortable position that wouldn't aggravate her injuries, but it was no use. Groaning in pain caught Oliver's attention and he was by her side in moments, asking, "Are you okay?"

Felicity slowly opened her eyes to find him hovering just above her head. "Everything hurts," she finally said. Oliver was gone in a flash, but she heard the opening of a cabinet followed by the kitchen sink being turned on. He was back at her side moments later with a glass of water in one hand and an orange bottle of pills in the other.

"Here," Oliver replied, handing her the water before unscrewing the white cap from the bottle. He shook a single large white pill into his hand. "Doc said these would help with the pain." Passing it into her palm, he waited as she downed it with the water and took the now empty glass from her fingers. "It's Vicodin so you should sleep well tonight."

"Good," Felicity murmured. She closed her eyes once more and heard movement again.

"You take the guest bedroom upstairs," she heard Oliver whisper. "I'll stay down here to make sure she's okay."

"Alright," Thea whispered back. "Good night."

"Good night."

Not even five minutes later, the Vicodin kicked in allowing Felicity to fall into a deep slumber.


	6. Chasing Demons

The city burned all around her. Everything was ablaze. People screamed in the distance. All she could see around her was death and destruction, that which she had caused. The guilt consumed her, wouldn't let her go. She stood in place, her feet unmoving as the world continued to shake and fall down.

Something exploded to her left, forcing her to run on wobbly legs that did not feel like her own. She ran for what seemed like hours until she tripped on something and fell to her knees. Glancing back, her eyes went wide with shock and horror.

He was sprawled out on the ground, his body a mangled mess of torn muscles and broken bones. She crawled to him, tears stinging her eyes as she surveyed the damage. Blood seeped from a gash along his temple. "Felicity," he groaned, attempting to reach out to her, but his body was too weak and in too much pain from his injuries.

"Oliver," she choked, her hand gently stroking his cheek, smearing the blood that had pooled there. Their eyes locked. He was fading fast. Each breath took more and more effort. "Please, Oliver," she begged, the tears freely flowing from her eyes.

"Help me… Felicity," he sputtered. "Help… me…" They were his last words before the fading light in his pale blue eyes went out completely.

"Oliver?" No, he couldn't be… "Oliver! Oliver, please don't leave me!" she cried out, cradling his face in her hands.

"Oliver!" she screamed as she jolted up from the couch. Her heart was racing so fast it felt as if it would beat right out of her chest. An arm wrapped around her and she found herself being pulled into the warmth of an embrace.

Felicity blinked several times trying to comprehend what was going on. Where was she? What was she doing here? This wasn't the foundry or the Glades or her apartment for that matter.

"Shh… I'm right here," Oliver whispered into her ear. Felicity whipped her head around to find him staring back at her, those intense blue eyes overflowing with concern. "It's okay, I'm here." She tried throwing her arms around him, but the left one protested so she settled for a single handed hug as she buried her face in the soft cotton of his grey hoodie.

The tears came in a rush when Felicity realized he wasn't dead. Her arm tightened around Oliver's neck as his hands stroked up and down her back. "You're okay," he whispered into her ear. "It was just a bad dream."

Huffing out a few more shaky breaths, she pulled away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Felicity could still feel his fingers on the small of her back, stroking gentle circles into the taught muscles until she relaxed. When her breathing evened out, she took stock of what had happened. Even though the dream was still fresh in her mind, she tried her best to push it into the recesses in order for the fear to subside. With Oliver beside her, his hand on her back, it made it much easier.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Felicity apologized, swiping a hand across her sweat drenched forehead.

"You didn't wake me," Oliver replied with a soft smile. "You might have woken Thea, but I think she just rolled over and went back to sleep," he jested.

"What time is it?"

"A little after six."

Felicity nodded. "Can I have some water?" she asked. Her mouth felt dry and her throat was slightly sore.

Oliver was on his feet in seconds, striding into the kitchen to fetch her a glass. That's when she realized he hadn't slept on the sofa, but had been asleep on the floor beside the couch the entire night. A blanket was spread out on the hardwood with a pillow on top of it. As Felicity began to wonder why, he was beside her again, handing her the water she'd requested.

"Thank you."

Oliver simply nodded as he took a seat at her feet, laying them across his lap as she gulped down the cold liquid with vigor. Placing the glass on the coffee table, she looked at him as silence enveloped the room.

"Are you okay?" Oliver finally asked. "Because you seemed to be having a really intense nightmare."

"What makes you say that?" Felicity could only hope that what she'd said in her dream didn't translate into the real world, especially if he'd been lying on the floor beside her the entire time. For one mortifying moment, her heart stopped and waited for his answer.

"You were tossing and turning for almost an hour," he said, easing her troubled mind a bit.

"Oh…" she sighed. There was a long pause that carried on for several moments as she stared down at a frayed edge of the blanket. It was a green and gold tartan pattern with green satin edging.

"I had my first nightmare the day I came home from the island." Felicity's head shot up and locked eyes with his. Oliver continued, "It was… scary. I almost killed my mother when she and Walter came to check on me."

Felicity's mouth hung open as she stared at him, wide eyed with shock. Oliver was actually opening up to her again. Then she remembered the conversation she'd overheard the night before and suddenly things became so much clearer. But it didn't mean she was going to tell him what her nightmare was about. It still scared her to imagine him dying in her arms.

"I still have them," Oliver kept going when she remained silent. His hands fell to her right foot, one at her ankle, the other along the arch. They worked in tandem, massaging her muscles as she eyed him. From the looks of it, he didn't seem to realize he was doing it. His gaze was straight on her, blue eyes soft and telling.

"What are they about?" Felicity hesitantly asked as she propped herself up slightly on right arm.

"Mostly flashbacks of the island," he answered. His hands moved to her other foot. They continued their gentle ministrations, rubbing circles into the tense arches.

Felicity let out a small, nearly inaudible moan when he reached a particularly sensitive spot near the center of the ball. Oliver's fingers instantly froze as he gazed at her, and she knew he'd heard it. Her heart raced, her mind trying to figure out what to say.

"You… don't have to do this," Felicity croaked when he didn't pull away.

Oliver gave her a slightly confused look. "Rub your feet?"

"No, tell me about your nightmares," she clarified.

"But I… I want to." His voice was soft and earnest. As she gazed into his eyes, she could see he really did want to share it with her.

But for her own sake Felicity needed to know his reasons behind it. Most likely, his conversation with Thea had brought about his need to confess certain things, but that's not what she wanted to hear. "Why?" Felicity asked.

"Because I know I said some things yesterday that were out of line and I never meant to hurt you."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oliver, you told me to leave." The words came out a little more harshly than Felicity had intended, but she wasn't sorry for saying them. Oliver needed to know his actions hurt as well.

"I know, and I'm sorry," Oliver murmured as his eyes fell to his lap. He truly looked apologetic, but a part of her couldn't accept it. Not until he realized why he had gotten so angry in the first place, why he'd sent her away.

Felicity sighed. "That's not what hurt me," she admitted.

His eyes shot up to meet hers. "Then tell me what I did to hurt you," Oliver begged. "I want to know so I don't do it again."

"I don't think that'll do you any good because I know what type of person you are and no matter how many times I tell you, you won't believe me."

"The whole hero thing, right?" Oliver immediately straightened up and took a defensive stance, his eyes narrowing on her.

Felicity knew what was going to happen, so she did her best to try and diffuse the situation. "Oliver, please, I don't want to do this right now," she begged. "We're both in highly emotional states. I don't want us to regret anything we say to each other. So in the interest of keeping our friendship intact, I think its best that we dealt with this later." Her voice remained calm and neutral as she pulled her legs out of his lap and sat up.

Slowly, Felicity stood and tested her feet to make sure they wouldn't wobble as she walked. Taking a few paces from the couch, she found herself to be slightly more balanced that morning. She sighed and looked out at the ocean through the open windows. It was dark and grey with a storm brewing just off the coast.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Felicity said as she turned and made her way to the stairs. Oliver didn't get up to follow her, but she could feel his eyes on her back.

Ascending into the master bedroom, she made her way to the closet. There was nothing more she wanted this morning than a shower and to find some underwear because going commando was out of the question. That was something she only did in the confines of her apartment. Being around both Queen siblings meant taking a little more pride in her appearance.

As she opened the door, Felicity glanced around looking to see what she could find. Towards the back of the closet, she spotted a pair of smaller black sweatpants and a white tank top she thought would fit her. Against the back wall stood a white dresser beneath a rack of shirts which she began to open to see what was inside.

The first drawer yielded nothing but fluffy oversized white towels. She grabbed one and threw it onto the bed with the clothes. The second drawer held stacks upon stacks of socks and pantyhose. It wasn't until the third drawer that Felicity finally hit the jackpot. Neatly folded underwear and bras filled the drawer in all colors and styles. She grabbed a simple white set and left the closet.

Satisfied with her take, Felicity glanced around the room to see where the bathroom was. A door to the left of the bed led her into the cream marble floored room. There was a claw-foot tub and standing shower to the left and the toilet and sink to the right. The tiling around the shower and tub matched the floor while the rest of the room was painted a creamy white.

Felicity turned on the water in the shower and as she waited for it to warm up, she stripped off the previous night's clothes. She easily shimmied out of the shorts, but the shirt was still a little more painful to get out of. Wiggling her right arm out first, she slipped the shirt over her head then down her left shoulder. With the clothes in a pile on the floor at the foot of the sink, she peeled off the bandage along her right leg and examined the stitches.

The row of seven neat knots and loops made her wince just looking at it, but Doc had done a good job. There would be a scar, but had she not been stitched up, it would have probably looked much worse than it was. Felicity sighed as she opened the shower door and tested the water with her hand. It was at just the right temperature so she stepped inside.

The near scalding water felt like heaven against her skin. It had been over two days since her last shower and Felicity couldn't wait to wash away the past few days worth of blood, sweat and grime as she let it rain down over her body. Very few things compared to the feeling of a hot shower after so much grief and misery. It cleansed the soul, rejuvenated the mind and brought the body back from the brink. But her decisions these past thirty-six hours still weighed heavily on her conscience, as did the after effects of the devastation and destruction she'd witnessed.

A loud crack of thunder shook the house and suddenly Felicity found herself back at the foundry reliving the earthquake in vivid detail. Her mind brought forth images of the ground shaking, dust falling from the ceiling and sparks flying as electrical lines were severed. The lights flickered as another loud crack of thunder shook the house again, and she found herself pressed to the corner of the shower, her body cowering in fear as she curled up in a little ball.

Tears streamed down Felicity's cheeks as her sobs echoed against the cold tile walls. Her breaths came in short gasps as she tried to push back the images, but nothing worked. Fear overtook her as she began to shudder with more gut wrenching sobs. Her world felt like it was crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The shower door flew open as a hand reached in to shut off the water. Felicity's forehead remained pressed to her knees as she heard her name being called. She was too scared to move. It wasn't until she felt a towel being draped over her that she finally looked up to see Oliver kneeling down, his eyes filled with worry as he wrapped it around her shaking body.

Their eyes met. Felicity saw the fear that laced his worry, felt it as he scooped her up in his tense arms and carried her to the bed. Closing her eyes, her head dropped beneath his chin as she sniffled and a few more tears slid down her cheeks. She was soon being lowered into bed and wrapped more tightly in the towel before the blanket was tucked around her.

Watching Oliver disappear from sight when she opened her eyes, Felicity thought for a moment he was going to leave. The racing thump of her heart increased, causing her shaking to turn into full on convulsions, but soon the bed dipped with his weight. Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and pulled her into the warmth and security of his embrace.

"It's okay," Oliver whispered in her ear as she turned to face him. His hand came up to stroke her face. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Felicity buried her face in the crook of his elbow as her sobs filled the room.

"Is she okay?" Thea asked, her voice timid and unsure as she padded into the room.

A flash of lightning and a loud crack of thunder made Felicity nearly jump. She cried out and squeezed her eyes shut as Oliver held onto her a little tighter. "Shut the curtains and turn on the lights," he barked at Thea. In moments, the room was closed off from the outside world, the warm glow of the incandescent lamps casting faded shadows across the room.

"You're okay," Oliver whispered into Felicity's ear as he placed a soft kiss against her temple.

"Don't leave me," she begged. Whatever had happened that morning became irrelevant at that moment. The only thing Felicity wanted was to not be alone. She feared the darkness more when she was by herself. Having someone there was comforting and helped ease some of the blackness that had begun seeping into her soul.

"That's not happening anytime soon," he reassured her. Oliver turned to Thea and said, "I need you to go downstairs. My phone is on the kitchen counter. There's a card under it for Dr. Peter Isenberg. Call him and tell him who you are and that something's wrong with Felicity."

"Okay," Thea nodded as she ran downstairs.

They were alone again. Felicity continued shaking to the point where her teeth chattered. This was a fear she had never known before. It consumed her down to the very depths of her soul until she was no longer able to function. The only thing keeping her head above the proverbial water was the warmth of Oliver's body pressed against hers. His hand curled in her wet hair, his lips pressed to her skin, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist; they all came together in a way that helped her find her way out of the dark recesses of her mind.

Shifting so she lay on her right side, Felicity ignored the dull pain coming from her leg as she curled herself against Oliver's chest. He pulled her closer, careful not to put weight on her left shoulder as he completely enveloped her in his arms. The warmth of his hand against the bare skin of her back pulled her further away from the darkness, but her body still trembled.

"Oliver," Felicity whimpered as she buried her face in the soft fabric of his hoodie. "I'm scared."

She felt him sink his fingers in her hair as he placed a kiss on top of her head. "You're safe," Oliver murmured. Felicity let out a deep, shuddering breath as she closed her eyes. She felt safe in his arms. It was the only place she wanted to be right now. Just knowing he was there, alive and well, gave her something to hold on to.

The night of the quake, Felicity realized that her fear of losing Oliver was one of the few things that had the potential to turn her world upside down. Factoring in the dream she'd just had about him dying in her arms, everything began to spiral out of control. Fear had a vice-like grip on her mind and the only thing that kept her from completely succumbing to it was knowing he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere.

"How do you do it?" Felicity whispered, her fingers desperately clinging to his hoodie as if it was her anchor.

"Do what?" Oliver asked.

"Not let the fear consume you."

He was silent for quite a while, his fingers stroking her back in the most comforting way that for a moment Felicity forgot she'd even asked a question. "I don't know," Oliver quietly replied. She looked up at him, expecting to see the stoic look he always seemed to have when talking about anything that involved emotion, but his eyes betrayed him. He was genuinely at a loss. She could see confusion mixed with pain and maybe even a little understanding.

Felicity reached up to stroke his face and immediately regretted it as her shoulder protested in pain. Her hand settled for stroking his upper arm instead as he gazed down at her. "What are you so afraid of?" Oliver asked. His hand untangled from her hair and stroked down her cheek, wiping away the remaining tears from beneath her eyes.

For several long moments, Felicity lay silent. The war being waged in her head was one between the voice that told her she should confide in him because he would understand and the voice that told her she shouldn't because he refused to confide in her. "I don't wanna talk about it," she finally answered.

"Okay," he didn't press her at first, but Oliver's heavy sigh told her he wanted to. "Is it about what happened last night?"

Felicity knew he was going to crack. He never had much in the self control department, only showing restraint when need be. She couldn't fault Oliver for wanting to know. He was, after all, wrapped around her like a safety blanket as she tried not to completely lose herself to the darkness that had been following her ever since they left Starling City.

Shaking her head, Felicity relaxed her hold on his shirt.

"Is it about the Glades?" Oliver asked.

She froze instantly, her breath catching in her throat as her fingers once again bunched up the soft cotton fabric. Just mentioning the Glades made her heart rate skyrocket as the fear she was only just managing to keep at bay broke through the thin walls of her resolve and began to consume her again. Felicity could feel Oliver's hold tighten around her waist, pulling her against his chest until they were flush with each other.

"I knew I should have sent you home," he said, the strain evident in his voice as his fingers tangled into her hair again.

"But I wouldn't have had access to the blueprints of the device," Felicity murmured. "I wouldn't have been able to help disarm it if I wasn't there." She knew she was trying to justify her actions, trying to not let him take the blame for what she did. The responsibility for disarming the device fell squarely on her shoulders. She was the only one capable of clearly directing Detective Lance on how to do it. But her glaring mistake of not finding the second device had been her downfall. She closed her eyes as hot tears began to fall again.

"Felicity," Oliver said, but she refused to budge. Taking her face in his hands, he raised it up so their eyes met, and for the first time in a very long time, she could see the sincerity he was so desperately trying to show her. "This isn't your fault."

"How is it not my fault?" Felicity broke down. "Tell me, Oliver, because I don't see how it isn't! I'm the computer genius. It was my responsibility to do a thorough sweep of the data we recovered from the Merlyn Global mainframe and it's pretty obvious that I failed!" She was sobbing now. Through her tears she could see the pain in Oliver's eyes as he gently stroked them away from her cheeks. "Because of my lapse in judgment, half of the Glades is in ruins! Because of me, hundreds, if not thousands of people are dead! "

"This is  _not_  your fault. Do you hear me, Felicity? You are  _not_  to blame for this." The conviction in Oliver's voice was so strong she paused for a moment and just stared at him. His determination buoyed Felicity's spirits. Seeing his resolve allowed her to find some of the peace of mind she'd been missing these last couple days.

"Then if it's not my fault, it's not your fault either," Felicity said, her conviction just as strong as his. "If anything, this is Malcolm's fault. He's the one who set this into motion. He's the one who planned it out and had the devices commissioned. Why don't we just blame him for a change? We should have been blaming him all along."

"You're right," Oliver conceded with a sigh. He continued to hold her face in his warm hands, stroking her cheeks as he gazed down at her with ever softening blue eyes. "You're absolutely right."

Felicity took a deep, shuddering breath. She closed her eyes and sank into his touch. "Now do you understand why I've always had so much faith in you? Why I believe everything you've sacrificed makes you a hero?"

She opened her eyes again and saw the confusion written all over his face. Reaching up even as her shoulder protested the movement, Felicity placed her hand against his cheek. "You went from being this vengeful person to putting other people ahead of your vendetta. And that's what makes you a hero in my book, the fact that you've changed so much in the time I've known you."

He merely nodded. "You're a good person, Oliver. Or, at least you try to be with all the burdens that have been heaped on you."

Silence settled between them as they stared at each other. "I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday," Oliver finally whispered, his fingers pushing back an errant strand of her wet golden hair back behind her ear. "I'm sorry for kicking you out."

"I forgive you," Felicity replied. "But only if you forgive me."

"Why?" He looked confused again.

"Because just like you, I need absolution."

"But…"

Felicity cut him off by pressing her finger to his lips. "Please," she begged. It was then that she realized what she'd done and quickly pulled her hand away.

"Felicity, I forgive you," Oliver said. He wasn't indulging her. His eyes were open and sincere telling her he meant what he said.

"Thank you," she whispered. They gazed at each other for several more moments before a loud crack of thunder shook the house again. Felicity squeaked before huddling into Oliver's chest as he quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"It wasn't just the Glades that had you on edge, was it?" he asked. Shaking her head, Felicity pulled back slightly to meet his pained gaze. As she trembled in his arms, Oliver sighed heavily. "I shouldn't have…"

"No more pointing fingers," Felicity interrupted. "We're done playing the blame game. What happened, happened. We can't change the past."

"That doesn't make it okay. Look what it's done to you." His fingers ghosted across her temple. "You're having nightmares and panic attacks." As if to emphasize his point, another loud crack of thunder echoed over the bay.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I told you I was okay."

"You weren't. I knew you weren't. I could hear it in your voice."

"But…"

He silenced her by brushing his thumb over her lips. Felicity's eyes popped open feeling its warmth radiating outward. Suddenly, she became very aware of Oliver's close proximity to her and that she was still only wrapped in a towel. Her heart raced, shallow breaths escaping her slightly parted lips, as she gazed up at him. Whatever she'd been about to say was lost when he began tracing his thumb over them.

This was too much for Felicity, but she couldn't tear herself away. The sensations coursing through her body helped calm her down yet fired her up as well. She wanted nothing more than to feel Oliver's thumb continue its path over her lips, but this wasn't the time to try and take that next step in their relationship. So many things from the other night hung between them that needed to be resolved. Yet she found herself leaning into his touch, savoring it as if she'd never feel it again while her eyes slowly began to shut.

The sound of footsteps padding up the stairs startled them both. Felicity quickly pulled away as Thea's voice rang down the hall. "They're up here, Doc," she was saying as she ran up the steps.

"Dr. Isenberg just arrived," Thea said sounding slightly breathless as her head popped into the room. From behind her, Doc peered over her shoulder before stepping inside carrying is brown leather bag.

Oliver was on his feet in seconds. Losing his warmth, Felicity whimpered as her hands tightened around the blanket. She watched as he brushed past Thea, leaning in to tell her something before nodding to Doc. "We'll be right back," he said before they left the room.

Thea came to sit on the edge of the bed beside her, softly asking, "Are you feeling any better?"

Felicity nodded even though losing her security blanket made her feel as if her world would fall apart. She found it hard not to succumb to the darkness that began to circle her again with Oliver gone and suddenly realized she had no idea how he'd become such an intricate part in keeping her sane. She'd gone from being angry at him to being unable to function without him, a thought that frightened her to her core. When had this happened? Felicity couldn't help but wonder.


	7. The Illusion Of Peace

"You'll be okay," Thea said reassuringly as she placed her hand over Felicity's. "I'm sorry about whatever happened to you. I shouldn't have been so hard on you and Ollie yesterday. I didn't know what you two had been through."

"It's… It's okay," Felicity stuttered. She really didn't know what else to say. She just knew she suddenly felt very uncomfortable lying in bed wrapped only in a towel. Glancing up at the younger Queen, she tentatively asked, "Thea, can you help me with something?"

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" she replied.

"Um, I'd really like to get dressed before Oliver and Doc come back," Felicity said as she slowly sat up, tugging the towel and the blanket with her. "I grabbed some clothes from the closet earlier, but I don't know where Oliver put them."

Thea stood up and glanced around the room. Her eyes settled on the other side of the bed. "These?" she asked, reaching over and holding up the black sweats and white tank top.

"Yeah," Felicity nodded.

"Do you need me to actually help you get dressed or…?"

The question hung in the air for several moments as Felicity lowered her eyes. As much as she hated asking for help, the pain in her shoulder made it impossible not to. Nodding again, she replied, "Only with my bra. But if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"Don't worry about it. I got you," Thea answered.

"Thank you," Felicity gratefully said as she turned around and slowly began slipping her arms into the white straps, her right arm first slowly followed by the left. About halfway up, she felt Thea's fingers pull them up the rest of the way before clipping the bra at her back. "You're a lifesaver."

"Don't mention it," Thea replied with a smile when Felicity turned around, the towel now lying in her lap. "Do you need help with anything else?"

"Maybe my shirt, but let me see if I can do it myself first," Felicity answered as she slipped the flimsy garment over her head. Using the trick Oliver had showed her, she managed to pull the left sleeve down far enough so her shoulder would bend minimally.

"Looks like you're good," Thea said before turning around and heading to the door. "I'll let you finish getting dressed. Yell if you need anything." She shut it behind her and Felicity was alone again.

Quickly shimmying into the white cotton underwear, she grabbed the black sweats and began to throw them on when she realized she needed a new bandage for her stitches. That could wait, Felicity thought before hopping back into bed just as someone knocked on the door. Her head shot up towards it. "Are you decent?" she could hear Oliver say behind it.

"Yeah, I'm dressed," she called back. The door opened and he entered followed closely behind by Doc.

"You look better," Oliver observed as he sat down on the edge of the bed where Thea had been earlier and reached for her hand.

"I feel better," Felicity replied with a weak smile. And she was now that he'd come back. Their fingers laced together as she leaned against him, her head coming to rest against his shoulder.

"So, Felicity, tell me what happened," Doc said, choosing to stand as he set his bag down on the bed.

"I'm pretty sure it was a panic attack, based on what I've been told panic attacks feel like," she replied, squeezing Oliver's hand for support. "Um, shaking, shallow breathing, feeling scared to death, flashbacks of everything that happened the other night…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced up at Oliver. He nodded, letting her know Doc had been filled in on some of the more important details so she wouldn't have to replay them and risk having another attack.

"Definitely sounds like a panic attack to me, but it also sounds like you might be suffering from post traumatic stress," he surmised. "Oliver told me about what happened before you arrived here. I had a feeling what I saw in the diner last night had something to do with it as well." Doc pulled a pad of paper out of his bag and wrote something down before tearing it out and handing it to her. "I'm giving you a prescription for Xanax to help get you through another attack, but I would rather have you see a psychologist. PTSD isn't something you take lightly."

"Yes, sir," Felicity said, glancing over at Oliver with a knowing look. He returned her gaze before his eyes fell to their interlocked hands.

"How are you other injuries doing?" Doc asked.

"About the same," Felicity shrugged.

"Good," he replied. "I'll be on my way then. Thea made it seem much worse than it actually was. Still glad I came though." Doc put away his notepad and grabbed his bag. Before heading out the door, he said, "Liv made you guys some fresh muffins and other goodies in case you were hungry. I left them downstairs on the kitchen counter."

"Thanks again, Doc," Oliver replied as he stood to shake his hand. "Sorry if we've been bothering you."

"It's no trouble at all, Oliver. Gave me a good excuse to come out here before Liv started bugging me about it. You two have a good day now." With a soft smile and a nod, Doc was out the door and headed downstairs.

"Did I hear him say muffins and other goodies?" Felicity asked. Her stomach growled at the prospect of eating food.

Oliver grinned at her. "I'll go get you something before Thea eats them all."

She curled up in bed and snuggled into the covers as she waited for him to get back. It only took Oliver a few minutes to return with a full plate of everything ranging from blueberry muffins and red velvet cupcakes to brownies and cookies and two bottles of water.

"Did you just grab one of everything?" she asked, her eyes widening at the large array of pastries he waved in front of her.

"Two."

"Then I want both red velvet cupcakes." Felicity sat up, the covers falling from her shoulders as she settled herself in a sitting position.

Oliver handed her the plate and placed the water bottles on the comforter beside her before making his way to the other side of the bed. The light breeze that blew over her as he brushed past made Felicity shiver. As he settled into the other side of the bed, she placed the plate between them and tugged the blanket closer.

"Are you cold?" Oliver asked as he glanced at her.

"A little," Felicity replied. Without a word, he unzipped his hoodie then proceeded to help her slip into it. "Thank you," she said. It was about three sizes too big for her tiny frame, but it was warm and comfortable. She huddled into it, Oliver's scent enveloping her as she slipped the hood over her wet hair and sat back against the pillows.

Reaching down and picking up one of the cupcakes she'd claimed earlier, Felicity peeled back the wrapper and took a bite. Her eyes rolled up as she moaned in pleasure from the taste of the cream cheese frosting mixed with the moist cake. "Oh, my god… This is divine," she breathed, taking another bite.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much I've missed Liv's baking," Oliver replied as he took a bite of the double fudge brownie he'd grabbed. "Oh, yeah, just like I remember," he added before devouring the rest of it in one bite.

Felicity smiled as she swirled her finger in the frosting of her cupcake and licked it off before taking another bite. Yes, these were heavenly and probably the most delicious cupcakes she'd ever had. Liv was definitely a spectacular baker. They'd have to pick up some more of these goodies in the coming days.

They spent the next half hour tasting their way through each pastry until the plate had been nearly licked clean. Taking a sip from her water bottle, Felicity inched her way back down the soft pillows as her eyes became heavy again. She tried to stifle a yawn, but Oliver noticed it anyway. He took the bottle from her hands and placed it on the nightstand beside her glasses.

"Go to sleep," he said, tugging the covers over her shoulders.

"But I don't wanna," Felicity weakly protested through another yawn.

"Are you afraid the nightmares might come back?" Oliver asked, giving her a knowing look.

Her head immediately shot up to look at him and gave away exactly what she was thinking. Nodding, she replied, "Yes."

What happened next stunned her into silence. Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to his chest. Before Felicity knew it, he had enveloped her in yet another warm embrace, her head falling beneath his chin. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he whispered as his hand came up to cradle the back of her head. "Go to sleep, Felicity."

"Only if you promise to sleep with me," she mumbled. Even in her exhausted state, Felicity knew when she'd said something stupid. That had been, by far, the worst thing to come out of her mouth since the casino incident. Squeezing her eyes shut, she added, "I don't mean sleep with me, I mean fall asleep with me, as in close your eyes and get some rest sleep with me. And I'm way too tired for this right now…" Another yawn caught her off guard, but this time she didn't even bother trying to hide it.

Thankfully Oliver chose to ignore her little ramble and instead stroked the back of her head through the hoodie. Felicity relaxed into his chest, her left hand coming to rest below her chin as she huddled into his warmth. She sighed deeply and his scent enveloped her. He smelled of eucalyptus and mint vaguely mixed with the treats they'd eaten.

"Oliver?" Felicity murmured as sleep began to take over her senses.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled back, obviously just as exhausted as she was.

"What if the nightmares come back?" The apprehension came out clear in her voice as did the slight tremble of fear.

Oliver held her a little tighter, slipping his hand beneath the hood so it stroked her neck. "I'll be right here," he reassured her then placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Okay," she barely whispered as her forehead came to rest just below his chin.

And for the first time since they got to the cottage, Felicity fell asleep with relative ease. When she awoke that afternoon, she found herself sprawled out across Oliver's chest, her ear pressed to his heart listening to its steady rhythmic beat. His arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her against him as he continued to sleep beneath her. It didn't even occur to Felicity that this was a strange position to be in as she nestled herself beneath his chin, her legs tangling with his looking for more warmth.

Oliver sighed in his sleep, his arms tightening around her in response as he buried his face in her hair, the hood of her sweatshirt having fallen back some time ago. She reveled in the warm safety of his arms, finding serenity she hadn't felt since before the fall of the Glades. As sleep made her eyes heavy once again, Felicity found herself stretching out over his broad chest, unashamed of using his body as her pillow.

But the peace didn't last long. The door flew open and Thea rushed inside. "Oliver!" she cried, startling them both from their slumber. He bolted upright, his arms tightly wrapped around Felicity as wild eyes scanned the room ready to attack. When they settled on Thea and assessed her as not being a threat, he relaxed, letting go of his hold on the trembling blonde and beckoned his sister to step closer.

"Thea, what's wrong?" Oliver asked, still slightly jarred by her unexpected entrance. One of his arms remained around Felicity, holding her close as she tried to calm down by taking several deep breaths.

Thea simply held out the phone she'd been holding to her chest and he took it. "Hello?"

"Ollie?"

Felicity could hear Laurel's voice crack as she spoke his name and knew exactly what was about to happen. She wrapped her good arm around his waist and pulled herself against his side in hopes of keeping him calm. Of all the things they needed right now, this wasn't one of them.

"Laurel." It came out as a breath, one Oliver seemed to have been holding a while now.

"It's… um… Tommy," she sobbed, unable to keep it together.

Felicity could see it was becoming harder and harder for him to hold onto his poker face. The emotions were swimming in his eyes as she looked up at him and suddenly felt her heart sink in her chest. His muscles coiled almost as if he was about to jump at any moment. She could feel the tension beneath her fingertips as she tried her best to soothingly stroke it away.

"What about Tommy?" Oliver asked through gritted teeth. His voice carried the emotions she found in his eyes and hoped he wouldn't bolt the first chance he got. But this was Oliver Queen, the master of avoidance. It was going to take a lot more than her arm around his waist to keep him from leaving her side.

"He's… He's… gone!"

Feeling her throat tighten hearing Laurel's gut wrenching sobs over the phone, Felicity looked up at him to find the pain written all over his face. This wasn't a show he was putting on for his sister. It was genuine and heartbreaking, and she couldn't hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes when she saw it. Her arm tightened around his side, but it wasn't enough to hold him back. Oliver was bounding out of the bed, the phone having dropped to the mattress beside Felicity's empty hand.

"Oliver?" Thea whimpered as he brushed past her. "Oliver!" She sprinted out of the room after him and Felicity followed far behind. Thea and Oliver were both down the stairs well before she could even get out of bed and put on her glasses, but she could easily hear their voices. "Oliver, where are you going?" Thea asked, but she got no answer. As Felicity hobbled down to the last step, she saw him throw open the door and run out into the pouring rain in just a t-shirt and sweats.

"Oliver!" Thea was sobbing as she watched him sprint down the road before he was out of sight. She sagged against the doorframe as Felicity came up behind her.

"Thea!" Felicity said as she wrapped her arm around the younger woman. "Thea, come here."

She turned into Felicity's embrace and buried her face in her shoulder. "Where is he going?" she cried into the soft fabric of the hoodie.

"He just…" Felicity sighed. She really didn't know what to tell the younger Queen. When Oliver didn't want to be around anyone, his usual instinct was to train until his body gave out. But this was a new setting without the comfort or safety of the foundry. Lord knew where he was going or what he'd do. This was Felicity's worst nightmare coming true, and she had no idea how to stop him or bring him back.

"I think he needs some time to process," she finally replied, her eyes falling on the empty road, praying that Oliver would come back soon. She was beginning to realize now that whatever had happened to Tommy, Oliver had been there to witness it and it was tearing him to pieces.

Silently vowing to help him through this just as he'd helped her, Felicity kicked the door closed and led Thea to the couch. She'd deal with Oliver when he came back. Right now his sister was her primary concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, I have just brought Laurel into the story. I know that's a hot topic, but it was a necessary evil. I would like your opinions on this. If you'd like to know what's already been said about it on Tumblr, check out my profile, befitandchase, and you'll see just what we've been talking about. It's a very interesting conversation, so I highly recommend stopping by the thread and seeing for yourself what we've been thinking.
> 
> I would also like your opinions. Where do you think this is going? Where would you like to see it go? Please leave a review and let me know!


	8. Missing You, Scared For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, boy, the first new chapter to go up on AO3. This is exciting! I'm excited! I can't wait to see what everyone thinks of this one. Be forewarned, you'll probably need tissues for this chapter and the next one because emotions are running extremely high and there will be LOTS of Tommy feels that I know y'all are gonna hate me for.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Settling Thea on the couch, Felicity got up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. When she returned, Thea had curled herself into a little ball against the armrest with her head lying on the pillow Felicity had slept on the night before. "Here," she said, handing the younger woman the water before she sat down beside her.

"I… This… I can't…" Thea babbled before taking a gulp.

"It's okay," Felicity comforted the best she could as she laid her hand over Thea's. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, so you don't have to talk. I'll probably end up talking enough for the both of us if you don't stop me. But I want you to know if you do need to talk, I'm more than willing to listen. You don't have to tell me everything, but sometimes just talking about something helps ease the pain."

Thea stared at her with the same unreadable expression she usually saw on Oliver's face when he was unsure of what to do. It soon softened into a weak smile as she replied, "Thank you, but right now, I really don't wanna talk. I just…" The tears came spilling down her cheeks again. Felicity nodded in understanding as she squeezed her hand.

For well over an hour, they sat together in silence, the only sound coming from the rain pitter-pattering against the wooden deck outside. Felicity kept her hand wrapped around Thea's knowing it would provide some comfort to the grieving teenager. At first, it felt strange, providing comfort to someone she barely knew. But this was Oliver's sister. She'd been through almost as much hell as her brother, and having to find out about Tommy's death over the phone would be traumatic for anyone, especially after the tragedy in the Glades.

"Tommy died trying to save Laurel," Thea said, knocking Felicity out of her thoughts. She looked at the brunette to see her eyes filled with tears. "That's what she told me. She said she got pinned under some chunk of concrete and Tommy somehow managed to pull it off her so she could escape. But then there was another aftershock and he was… killed by falling debris."

Suddenly Oliver's reaction made perfect sense. He must have been there when it happened. Felicity could feel her throat constrict when she realized he'd probably watched Tommy die right in front of him, heard his last words even. It broke her heart and she wished he was there so she could give him a hug and comfort him as he'd comforted her earlier.

"Tommy was my brother," Thea continued. Glancing at the brunette, Felicity noticed her gaze was somewhere far off in the distance as she spoke. "When Oliver went missing…" she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she tried not to cry again, but seemed to be failing as a couple of traitorous tears fell down her cheeks. "Tommy came over. He stayed with me for almost two weeks, eating junk food and watching Disney movies with me the whole time. He was the one I talked to about everything. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

"Tommy saw me through a lot of ups and downs, from my first boyfriend to the drug and alcohol problems. My mom was too preoccupied with her own grief to really pay much attention to me, so I turned to him when I needed to talk to someone. He understood what I was going through because he'd been there and he was going through it himself. We would talk about almost anything. Nothing was off limits. Embarrassingly enough, he was the one who got stuck giving me 'the talk'," Thea giggled.

"That had to be embarrassing!" Felicity commented, unable to stop her own laugh.

"He was bright red. You should have seen him! I don't think I've ever seen Tommy that flustered! He couldn't stop stammering because I must have been thirteen and I'd blatantly asked him 'What's sex?' It was cute and funny and awkward at the same time," Thea explained.

"I can imagine!" Felicity replied. There was a lull in the conversation as Thea retreated into her memories. "Tell me about Tommy," she prodded. "Oliver spoke fondly of him, but I never got a chance to get to know him."

"Tommy was…" Thea paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "Tommy was that guy in high school that everybody liked. He was the class clown, the one who could always make you laugh. He was the best friend who would bring you popcorn and chick flicks when you were feeling down then watch them with you the whole night even though he'd probably seen them with you a million times before.

"That's who Tommy was, to me at least. He and I became really close while Oliver was gone. For five years, he was my brother. He was the one I talked to about everything. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Then Oliver came back, but he was so… different. But Tommy, he didn't change. He was still my brother." And then she was sobbing again.

Felicity leaned in and wrapped her in a one armed hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"I told Tommy things I couldn't tell my mother. He understood so much of what I was going through, especially after we lost Oliver. I wouldn't talk to anyone but him. Who am I going to talk to now?" Thea cried. "Oliver hasn't stopped judging me since the day he got back. Tommy never did that. He kept me going when I felt like everything was about to fall apart. I just wish these last few months hadn't been so strained between him and Ollie. I missed him dropping by. I missed talking to him. I missed my best friend." Several more tears fell down her cheeks as she continued trying to come to terms with everything.

Felicity stroked her back in an effort to comfort her, but she knew it wasn't nearly enough. She wished she knew a little more about the brunette, but Oliver didn't talk much about his family. Then again, he'd been away from them for so long that he probably didn't know her anymore either. "Tell me more about Tommy. What was your favorite thing you guys did together?" Felicity asked, trying to switch to a lighter topic.

Thea looked down at her hands and laughed weakly. "Well, he taught me how to drive," she said. "That was a funny experience." For the next half hour, she talked about the many trials and tribulations she and Tommy had gone through to get her learner's permit then all the mishaps and accidents she'd gotten into afterwards. Felicity could see the tears giving way to smiles and laughter as Thea recalled a particularly bad incident where she'd accidentally driven on top of a police cruiser when she'd tried to reverse but ended up in drive instead. That had them both in stitches.

"Tommy sounded like a great guy," Felicity mused.

"He is… was…" Thea whispered, her gaze returning to her hands. "Felicity?" she asked, her blue eyes glancing up to meet with hers.

"Hmmm?" Felicity hummed.

"Thank you," Thea whispered.

"For what?"

"Listening."

Felicity smiled as she gazed over at the younger woman. "You're welcome," she said, pulling her in for a hug.

"I can see why Oliver likes you," Thea replied as she pulled away and looked at Felicity with soft eyes and a smile. "You're really easy to talk to."

"You think so?" she asked, slightly taken aback by the younger woman's assessment of her.

"Yeah, you're a lot like Tommy. You listen and you don't judge. I feel like I can trust you," Thea said.

Felicity couldn't hide her surprise and shock. A memory of the time she'd given Oliver the notebook Walter had her analyze popped into her head. "You can tell me anything," she replied, knowing it was the truth. "I promise it will always stay between us." Just as Oliver's secret had always remained between the two of them.

"Then can we talk about you and Oliver?" Thea suddenly changed the subject.

This wasn't where she wanted the conversation to go. Trepidation filled Felicity's voice as she asked, "What about me and Oliver?"

"How exactly do you know each other? I know you said something about computers, but what is it you do for him exactly?" Thea unfurled her legs from beneath her and sat down on the couch facing Felicity as she let her head rest against the hand she had propped up on the armrest.

Felicity felt the younger woman's gaze settle firmly on her and swallowed. She really didn't want to be talking about her relationship with Oliver right now, especially since he wasn't there to help censor her in case things got out of hand. "I set up and maintain the network at Verdant for him. I also work for Queen Consolidated, which is how I also know Walter," she finally said, hoping it would satisfy the brunette's curiosity enough not to warrant further questioning.

"I knew you looked familiar!" Thea exclaimed, sounding somewhat proud of herself. "You came to drop off those flowers at the hospital. Now I remember. Oliver introduced you as his friend. But that still doesn't explain how you know him."

Half truths, Felicity reminded herself as she thought for a second about their back story. "Well, it started off with him asking me to fix some of his computer related problems and it kind of escalated from there. When he needed to get the network up and running at the club, he called me and we've been working together ever since."  _Good job, Smoak! That's how you do it!_

That seemed to do the trick for Thea, but her next question was still a doozie. "I know I asked you this last night, but I want you to be honest with me. Are you sleeping with my brother?"

"I can honestly answer no, I'm not sleeping with him. I don't even think I'm his type," Felicity said, realizing it was the truth. She'd seen the women Oliver had been with in the past. They were mostly tall, lanky, beautiful model types that she couldn't hold a candle to, at least that's what she thought.

Thea simply laughed, "You are so not his type, but I see the way he looks at you. It's the way he used to look at Laurel when they were together."

Her words caught Felicity's attention. "What do you mean?" she asked, now very intrigued.

"You have no idea, do you?" Thea replied.

"Obviously not…" How could someone so young see so much? Felicity mused. Then again, this was Oliver Queen's sister. That trait for reading people must run in the family.

Thea continued, "He stops everything for a second and just watches you."

Felicity laughed. "I think that's more because he's afraid I might hurt myself than anything else, especially since I'm already injured," she replied. "He seems to have that protector mentality."

"Oh, he does," Thea said, "But not when it comes to you."

"I swear there's nothing going on between us. Far from it, actually. Like I said before, we're strictly friends." Felicity wasn't budging from that point no matter how many times Thea asked her about the nature of their relationship. Yes, she had a crush on Oliver (how could she not), but he never gave any indication that he shared those feelings for her. Hearing the younger Queen talk so candidly about what she'd seen after less than twelve hours was a little shocking and threw Felicity off kilter, but she still couldn't see it herself.

"But you don't want to be." Suddenly there it was, out in the open. Felicity's head shot up as a triumphant smile crossed Thea's lips. "I see the way you look at him," she said as she pointed her finger at Felicity. She must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck because Thea continued, "I saw how you were holding onto him this morning and how you were using him as your personal pillow this afternoon. You can't deny your feelings for my brother. I see them written all over your face right now."

'Am I that transparent?' Felicity thought to herself as she tried to close her now unhinged jaw at the prospects of Thea Queen knowing her deepest, darkest secret.

"You and Oliver… I swear, you're the two easiest people to read when it comes to love."

"But we're…"

"I know," Thea interrupted, holding up her hand. "You're just his friend. But don't the best relationships always start out being the best friendships?" she asked.

It struck a chord in Felicity, but she continued to try and deny it, going so far as to say, "He still loves Laurel."

But Thea just rolled her eyes. "Oliver  _thinks_  he loves Laurel. Big difference. That's one relationship I hope stays in the past because it was never healthy for either one of them," she revealed. "I know once he gets over it, he'll realize there's someone better."

Felicity was chewing the end of her thumbnail as she listened intently to every word Thea said. "You think so?" she asked. The hope she suddenly felt nearly made her heart explode.

"I know so," Thea replied with a smile. "But Ollie's very stubborn, and it might take a while. Just don't give up on him. I know something deeper connects the two of you. Whatever it is, don't let it go. Give him some time and some space to make his mistakes. He's been through a lot."

"I know," Felicity breathed. "I just hope whatever he's going through right now, he'll get past it and come back soon." She glanced over at the clock on the wall to see it was nearing five.

Thea followed her gaze and replied, "I worry about him so much. Does he at least talk to you about what happened on the island?"

"Not often. I try not to push Oliver because when I do, he shuts down and won't talk to me for a really long time. He knows I'm there for him, just like he's there for me, but he struggles, a lot," Felicity answered. "I hate seeing him go through so much pain. I just… I always want to do something to take it away, you know?"

Thea nodded. "You really do care about him, don't you?"

The emotions Felicity had been trying to hold back were suddenly spilling forth as she tried to keep them at bay. "With all my heart," she whispered before a tear rolled down her cheek. Felicity quickly wiped it away, hoping Thea wouldn't push her into saying anymore. "I'm so worried about him right now. I want to run out there and go look for him, but who knows where he's gone. I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid."

An arm came around her shoulders and suddenly Felicity found herself being the one comforted instead of the other way around. Thea tucked her into a hug as she ran her hands up and down her back. "I know, me too," she replied. "Me too."

They held onto each other for a while, reveling in the comfort they found in one another as the rain continued to pour down outside. Felicity was surprised to find that she felt so at ease around Thea and that she actually enjoyed her company. This unexpected development allowed her to relax a little bit knowing she had someone to talk to if Oliver wasn't around.

The unexpected bond they'd formed was having a profound effect on her mental state as well. Felicity had a very small number of friends, least of all women. Her best friend had moved to Oklahoma to finish grad school while she'd lost touch with the others after high school ended. Thea had been an unexpected and welcomed surprise. Yes, she was Oliver's sister, which meant Felicity had to carefully choose her words, but it didn't stop her from wanting to get to know the feisty brunette.

"Thea," she said before pulling away.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"No, thank you," Thea replied. "You were exactly what I needed, and exactly what Ollie needs."

Felicity threw her good arm around her again, holding tight to the younger woman. The pulled away from each other and sat back on the couch. A comfortable silence settled between them as they stared out the windows towards the rain coming in from the sea.

"You know what I just realized?" Felicity said as she turned to the younger woman. Thea cocked her head. "I haven't seen a computer in nearly three days, which is shocking considering I spend most of my time on one."

"Well, aren't you in luck," Thea replied, hopping off the couch and bounding up the stairs to the guest bedroom. She returned moments later with a tablet in her hands.

Felicity's eyes widened as a smile curled along her lips. "May I?" she asked politely.

Thea handed it to her and she quickly began logging into her email accounts and remotely accessing her phone and voicemail. Several hundred messages popped up, most of which were from family, others from Diggle, and a few from work informing her that the office would be closed until further notice. She'd go through the rest later. Right now, her main concern was the network at Verdant. Although it brought back some unsettling memories, she needed to know everything was okay on that end.

Being unable to remotely log in, Felicity knew the power was still out and that there was no way for anyone else to hack in. She breathed a sigh of relief before logging out of everything else and handed the tablet back to Thea.

"Thank you," she said.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Thea asked, rising from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

Just the mention of food made Felicity's stomach growl. "Yes, very, but I think all we have here are some old cans of soup."

"Lucky for you, I did a little shopping this morning," Thea replied as she opened the fridge to reveal an assortment of fruits and vegetables, three types of milk including soy, cheeses, deli meats and other odds and ends. "There's also ice cream in the freezer and bread in the bread drawer. I also bought some mac and cheese too."

"Mac and cheese, the best comfort food in the world," Felicity said as she stood up and made her way to the kitchen. As Thea prepared dinner, Felicity kept glancing at the clock, watching the hands move from five to six.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, occasionally asking each other about lighter topics like makeup and fashion. Both were hyper aware that day had turned to night as the clock chimed seven. Oliver still wasn't back yet.

As Thea cleared away the plates and set the rest of their dinner aside, Felicity stood to pace the span of the living room as she gazed out into the night wondering where he'd gone. Her worry for him was growing. If they were back home, he would probably be sparring with Diggle right now. But they weren't home. Home felt like it was a million miles away from this place and a shell of what it used to be. Felicity shuddered at the thought.

"I'm worried about him too," Thea said as she wandered over to stand beside her.

Felicity sighed deeply. "I'm scared, Thea. I'm wondering if we should call the police. What if Oliver's hurt? What if he's unconscious? What if…?" She swallowed hard, trying not to go down that road with her train of thought. But now that it was in her mind, it wouldn't go away. She felt her body begin to tremble, the fear quickly returning.

Feeling Thea's arms wrap around her, she knew the brunette was just as frightened as she was, if not more. Oliver was her brother. She'd already lost him once. Felicity couldn't imagine what she was going through. "He'll come back," Thea whispered, her voice sounding weak but determined. She wasn't going to let the "what if's" get to her.

Somehow her words allowed Felicity to scrounge up strength she didn't know she had. She realized she couldn't automatically assume Oliver was hurt. After all, he had some of the most advanced survival skills she had ever seen. If anything, he was probably still out there using the trees as his gym or sitting on some rock thinking things through. Felicity figured it was the former. At least that's what she made herself think. All other thoughts were banished from her mind. She needed to focus on the positive. The negative would just put her back in that scary place she'd been in all morning.

Wrapping her good arm around Thea, Felicity held onto her tight for a moment before a knock at the door startled them both. She pulled away suddenly, her heart racing as she bolted upright and stalked towards the door. "Stay here," she told Thea, realizing she had picked up some of Oliver's protective instincts. Or was it paranoia? She had no idea, but that really didn't matter.

Peering through the peephole to see who it was, Felicity's eyes widened and she threw open the door. "Oliver!" she cried, launching herself into his chest as she wrapped her arm around his neck and buried her face in his wet t-shirt. For several moments he stood stiff then stepped into her embrace and tentatively wrapped his arms around her.

It was then that Felicity noticed he was cold, wet and shivering. She pulled back to look him over, making sure he wasn't hurt. Her eyes settled on his and she knew his injuries weren't physical. The pain was still written all over those pale blue pools rimmed red from crying. Her heart crept into her throat as she grabbed his nearly frozen fingers, bringing him into the house.

"Ollie!" Thea came flying past, practically jumping into his arms as Felicity headed to the couch to grab a blanket. "You're freezing!" she added and turned to find Felicity behind her, the blanket in her hands.

"Come on, you need to get out of those wet clothes before you die of hypothermia," Felicity said as she threw the blanket over his head and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders. Taking his hand, she nudged him towards the stairs. Together they headed up to the master bedroom with Thea walking a few paces behind.

Motioning for Oliver to sit on the bed, Felicity began to turn for the closet, but his fingers tightened around her hand and she spun back around to face him. They stared at each other for several moments as a number of unspoken emotions flowed between them. Water trickled down his forehead mixing with his tears and again her throat constricted as the pain in her heart returned. She reached up, her fingers softly wiping the moisture from beneath his eyes and he sighed deeply as he closed them.

Felicity ached to do something to ease his suffering, but she didn't know what. It wasn't until Oliver let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist that she realized he was seeking out the comfort she'd sought in him earlier. As he pressed his face to her abdomen, she gently wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her warmth. Soon his shoulders began to shake and she could feel the last of her resolve crumble away. Her cheek pressed to his wet hair and she silently cried along with him.


	9. Holding On & Letting Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: You'll need tissues when you read this chapter!
> 
> I am so on a roll with this story! I finally have the plotline on how to end it as well, but don't worry, there are still many more chapters to come.
> 
> First off, thank you to everyone who's followed me over at Archive Of Our Own. I appreciate you all!
> 
> Second, I gotta give some credit to my beta, hopedreamlovepray, for coming up with some of the dialogue in this chapter. She was a HUGE help because, seriously, this was a tear fest.

When she finally forced the tears to stop, Felicity lifted her head and found Thea staring at her with a knowing gaze. But the teenager wasn't smiling. Instead, she looked shocked and worried. Her brother was a cold, wet mess falling apart like she'd never seen him before. Felicity's heart went out to both of them. It was hard to watch the scene unfold, but she needed to find some way to help.

What little medical training Felicity had kicked in as she wiped away her tears and said, "Thea, I need you to get Oliver some warm clothes. Can you do that for me?" It snapped the younger Queen out of her stupor and prompted her to throw open the closet door in search of what Felicity was asking.

As she stepped back from Oliver, Felicity placed her hands on his cheeks and gave him a soft smile. Although his eyes were still red rimmed and slightly glazed over, there was a flicker of acknowledgement she saw in them. "Oliver," Felicity murmured, stroking her thumbs over his cheekbones. He leaned into the warmth of her touch, closing his eyes as he sighed. Exhaustion became prevalent over his features as she studied his body. There was still tension coiled in his muscles, but it was more from the fact that he was cold than anything else.

"Oliver," she said his name again, this time a little more loudly, and his eyes fluttered open. Felicity smiled warmly and continued, "I need you to take off your clothes." In any other instance, her cheeks would have been flaming red just saying those words, but tonight, Felicity found herself in a situation that required her to be strong and confident. Pushing aside whatever embarrassment she felt, she pulled the blanket off his shoulders and waited for him to acknowledge her request.

Shaking hands reached for the hem of his shirt, but Oliver barely had the strength to lift it. Without even asking, Felicity grabbed it with her good hand and slowly began dragging it up as he weakly lifted his arms until it was over his head. It fell to the floor with a plop before their eyes met again. This time she could see a flicker of surprise when he gazed up at her as he wrapped his arms around his chest and shivered.

"Thea, I need those clothes," Felicity said as Oliver shook before her. Wrapping her arms around him again, she pulled him into her warmth while she waited for Thea to give her something.

"Here," she said, handing Felicity a navy blue long sleeve shirt before heading back into the closet.

"Oliver…" Felicity was quick to get his attention as she held out the shirt for him. "You'll need to help me with this because I've only got one good arm," she said, lifting it as high as her shoulder would allow, which was at about the height of his head. Oliver slipped his arms into each sleeve then pulled it on.

"Um, Thea…" Felicity's voice trailed off when she stepped back and realized there was one more thing that had to be done. The brunette stuck her head out of the closet and stared at her. Leaning in, Felicity whispered, "What about his pants?"

Thea stifled a laugh as she thrust a pair of sweats into Felicity's hands and replied, "Your problem, not mine."

All the steely resolve Felicity had just moments ago withered away at the thought of taking Oliver's pants off. That was the last thing she wanted to do because she knew where her mind would end up. The flush was already beginning to creep up on her cheeks as she stared at the grey cotton in her hands and tried not to picture the scene in her mind. Oliver Queen with his pants off… She could only hope he'd worn underwear.

"Um… Oliver…" Felicity timidly stammered as her eyes fell to the fabric in her fingers. She knew he was staring up at her. She could always feel his eyes when they were looking in her direction. Hazarding a glance, she said, "Um… you need to… uh… take off your pants."

Behind her she could hear Thea snickering beneath the hand that covered her mouth. "I'm just gonna… leave you two alone," she said, stalking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

Damn the little brat, Felicity thought, realizing she was now alone with Oliver as he sat in front of her still shivering. She handed him the sweats before saying, "You can do this yourself, right?" Even in her own ears she sounded uncertain.

Oliver nodded. "I'll be fine," he rasped. They were the first words he'd spoken to her since Laurel's phone call and Felicity couldn't help but wonder if he really was going to be fine with all that had happened in such a short amount of time.

Sighing, she turned around. Bringing her hands up to her face, she rubbed her eyes. It had been one hell of a long day, and even with the amount of time she'd sleep, Felicity still felt exhausted. The burden she carried not only from what had happened in the Glades, but of wanting to help Thea and Oliver had started to weigh on her. Was this what he put himself through on a daily basis? Felicity could only begin to imagine what it felt like to be Oliver Queen for a day if this was how he lived his life. Her heart fell slightly in her chest just thinking about it.

A pair of arms wrapped around her waist startling Felicity out of her thoughts. She turned around to find Oliver standing in front of her. He tightened his hold around her waist, pulling her to his chest as his head fell to her right shoulder. "I'm here," she murmured as her fingers ran through his cold, wet hair. Nothing could hold back the relief she felt to have him back in one piece. But the pain she felt vibrating through him made her wish she could put him in a bubble and keep him away from anything and everything that had ever hurt him.

Oliver held her closer, his hands spanning the width of her back as his fingers clung to the fabric of her hoodie. Felicity kept her arm draped around his neck as she guided him to the bed. "Lie down," she whispered against his ear and reluctantly he let her go. He slipped beneath the covers and she followed suit, making sure to wrap him tightly in the down comforter before sideling up beside him. His arms came around her waist and she was pressed to his chest once more, his face buried in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not okay. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have left like I did."

"I can understand why you did it. I know Tommy's a sore topic for you…"

The shaky sigh that escaped Oliver's lungs told her everything she needed to know. He didn't want to talk about Tommy. He was avoiding the topic like the plague. But Felicity knew she couldn't let him run anymore. Even as the tension returned to his muscles, she made sure her entire body was wrapped around him this time, preventing his escape.

"Please, Oliver, don't. Just... don't," Felicity begged, reaching up to stroke his cheek in an attempt to calm him. "I know you're scared and I know you've been through a lot these last few days. Hell, these last five years! But you can't keep running. You've been running ever since you got back from that island."

Oliver tried to turn away, but she gently held his head up so their eyes remained trained on each other. He needed to hear this. He needed to understand what she was trying to say. Felicity continued, "Look at me, Oliver. Running isn't going to solve your problems. If you keep running, they'll just get bigger. You need to see that there are people here to help you; that care about you and love you very much, no matter who you are. You have Thea, who was worried sick about you, who cares about you and loves you unconditionally. She came all the way out here because she was scared, for you! You don't have to let her in, but you have to show her you're trying to be her brother, the brother she needs you to be. She's been through so much since you disappeared that right now, just being one pillar of stability in her life is enough."

Pausing for a moment to gather the rest of her thoughts, Felicity knew the next thing she had to say could potentially change their relationship in either a good way or bad way. Whatever the outcome, she needed to get the words out. "And you have me," she whispered, feeling the tears well in her eyes, but refusing to let them fall. "I promise you I'm not going anywhere. You've become such an important part of my life that leaving is no longer an option. I'm here for you, no matter what. I know you're broken and confused and a whole lot of messed up, but that's what makes you so amazing. You've taken all that bad and you've tried to do some good with it. That's why I chose to stay even after we found Walter. And that's why I refuse to go."

Felicity sighed, "All I ask is that you stop shutting me out so much. You can't keep bottling up your pain because I see how much it hurts you. And I don't like to see you hurting. Those days when you would come into the foundry all quiet and brooding, they killed me. I just want you to try to open up a little every now and then. You don't have to tell me everything. You can even just give me a sentence if that's all you can. But please, don't keep it inside anymore."

For several moments, Oliver lay still. He'd managed to wrangle in his emotions while Felicity had been talking, but she could see the cracks in his façade. It was slowly beginning to crumble as her words resonated within him. She could see it in the way his body relaxed against her. Finally, he nodded. "Okay," Oliver whispered back.

Felicity smiled again as her fingers traced over his face. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm right here, whenever you're ready to talk," she said, her hand settling against the back of his neck.

Another deep shuddering sigh came from Oliver as he tightened his hold around her waist, his hands clinging to her sweatshirt as she felt the tension in his muscles return. It scared her to think of all the things running through his mind at that moment. She knew it was probably a war zone in there, but this wasn't her conversation to start. He needed to be the one to open up to her. So she would wait until he was ready, no matter if it was five minutes or five hours from now.

With a sigh of her own, Felicity settled into her pillow, gently stroking the back of his neck in hopes of easing some of the tension she felt there. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I was there," Oliver murmured. She remained silent, letting him continue at his own pace as her fingers brushed against his skin in encouragement. "I heard Laurel crying out for him. I heard the pain in her voice. He'd gone in to save her. When I found him, he was…" Oliver paused again, letting out a shaky breath.

Felicity pulled back so she could look at him. "I know," she whispered. He didn't need to continue. His eyes told her everything. From the tears that flickered in those pale blue pools, she could see he'd been there and watched his best friend die right in front of him. And then, all of a sudden, he was sobbing again. She pulled herself up slightly so his head fell beneath her chin as she wrapped her arm around him.

"It should have been me," Oliver cried. "It should have been me…"

It was heartbreaking, listening to him speak those words. Felicity's arm tightened around him as her fingers sank into his hair. She couldn't bear the thought of living without him. Even thinking about it made her heart sink and the tears spring from her eyes. It wasn't until she felt Oliver pull away that she realized she'd begun to cry. She couldn't hold back any longer. As his hand came up to cup her cheek, she asked, "But why?"

A long, painful silence settled between them as Felicity watched the battle raging in his eyes. Something was eating away at Oliver. For a moment, she thought they were going to go back to the way things used to be, and he would shut her out again, but he swallowed back his tears and said, "Because I never should have slept with Laurel."

Felicity's breath caught in her throat. As much as she hated hearing those words, she knew it was important for Oliver to say them. And it was even more important for her to acknowledge that she didn't live in a vacuum. Laurel was a large part of the reason he'd managed to survive on that island for five years. "You still love her, don't you?" Felicity whimpered, knowing he could hear the hurt in her voice.

Oliver sighed and looked away. She struggled to keep her emotions in check, but it was hard to do, especially after the talk she'd had with Thea. She'd given Felicity so much hope, but now, watching Oliver fall apart as he talked about what had happened in the hours leading to the destruction of the Glades, she couldn't help but feel her heart shattering into a million little pieces. But she'd promised him she would listen, that she would be there for him. She couldn't go back on that promise.

"I'm sorry," Felicity said. "I never…"

"I thought I still loved her," Oliver cut in. His eyes fell to hers and she could see just how much it hurt him to admit that. "I thought once I came back from the island, we could start over, but just as I had changed, she had changed too. When I saw her with Tommy the first time, I knew it was over between us, but I kept trying to ignore it. I figured once the whole Tommy thing ran its course, she'd come back to me, but I could see that wasn't going to be the case. The way was she was around him… She was so happy; much happier than she'd ever been with me. Tommy brought out the best in her. And I got jealous. I wanted it to be me because I was still that selfish boy on the inside when it came to Laurel."

He sighed, the weight of his words falling over both of them. "I regret the moment I stepped into her apartment wanting to talk. I never should have gone there because I knew I was sabotaging a lifelong friendship for a woman I thought I still loved when in reality, I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. I thought going to her would make me feel something, but it didn't. Instead, I laid there and felt nothing but regret."

Oliver paused again. Felicity could see yet another painful war going on in his eyes. She didn't press him, though. Instead, she waited until he gathered his thoughts. "I fucked up, Felicity," he earnestly said. "I let my selfish pride ruin my relationship with my best friend because I was jealous he had what I wanted. And then, I let him die because of it. That's why I wished it was me. Because when he came to confront me about what had happened, I did what I always do and avoided the subject altogether. Instead of talking to him about it, I tried to tell him his father was going to destroy the Glades. I should have known it would just set him off. Just before he left he told me he wished I had died on that island. And he was right. I should have if it meant Tommy would still be alive."

Felicity managed to swallow back her sob, but not the tears that streamed down her face. As his thumb wiped them away, she whispered, "Please don't say that… It would matter… to me." Although she wanted to look away, she knew she couldn't. Oliver needed to see her pain just as she'd seen his. "I told you earlier that you've become an important part of my life, and I truly mean that. I never realized what it meant to live until I met you. You've shown me things, strengths I didn't even know I had. You opened my eyes to a whole new world. You've made my life better."

Placing her hand over his, she let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes for a moment hoping to rake in her emotions. When she opened them again, Felicity found him staring at her intently, silently waiting for her to continue. Squeezing his fingers, she went on, "I know I've only known you a short time, Oliver, but one thing I know for sure is that your heart is good. You are a good man. I trust you with my life... with my heart.

"We've all made mistakes we regret, decisions we didn't fully think through because our emotions were running high, but you need to look at those mistakes as stepping stones. Just because you screwed up doesn't mean your life isn't worth living. Tommy was your best friend and no matter what happened between the two of you, he still loved you. Deep down, he didn't hate you. If he'd hated you, he would have gone to the police. But he trusted you, Oliver. He kept your secret just as I've kept your secret, because he cared about you and he wanted to protect you. In the end, that's what you need to remember."

Seeing the way Oliver stared back at her made Felicity realize she was finally getting him to understand that he wasn't the bad person he thought he was. His eyes were soft, contemplative even, as he pressed his forehead to hers before closing them with a deep sigh.

"Felicity," he whispered. "Thank you." Oliver took her hand and placed it over his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her palm. Her heart fluttered, but he wasn't done yet. "Thank you for reminding me I have things to live for, people to live for… When I came back from that island, I knew full well that my crusade was probably going to get me killed because I really didn't have much to live for. I just wanted to fix my father's mistakes and figured I'd die doing that, which was okay at the time, but then I found out just how much certain people cared about me. I wasn't expecting that to happen, and I think that's part of the reason I came back tonight. Because I cared about those people too, and I didn't want to see them hurting."

Too stunned to speak, Felicity just laid there and stared at him as a small smile finally curled along his lips, one she knew was real and genuine, even if it took effort on his part to show her. "I'm sorry for running," Oliver continued. "I'm sorry for worrying Thea. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay," Felicity whispered. "You're here and that's what matters. I'm just glad you're finally starting to see things my way, because if you didn't, I might have had to get rough… Rough in the sense of pulling out the big guns, not that I wouldn't like to get rough with you, because that would probably be fun… And dear god, what am I saying? I really need to…"

Even before the flush fully spread over her cheeks, Oliver had placed his hand at the back of her head and tipped it forward, pressing his lips to hers before she even had a chance to finish her ramble. Felicity froze the moment their lips touched. It took her several seconds to realize what was going on, but when it dawned on her that she was kissing Oliver Queen, she closed her eyes and leaned into him fully.

What started out as a chaste kiss turned into something more desperate and needy as her hand ruffled through his hair, pulling him closer. A sigh parted her lips and he took it as an invitation to slide his tongue into her mouth. Felicity shuddered, her fingers sinking into his scalp. This unexpected turn of events made her head spin, but now that she knew how Oliver truly felt about her, this kiss took on a whole new meaning.

A change was coming. Felicity could feel it deep down in her soul. Oliver had finally made a choice, and although she was happy it had been her, they still had a long way to go. This was a new beginning for both of them, one that intertwined their futures and signaled the start of better times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I made you cry, but I hope the end made up for it. Expect something incredibly wonderful in the next chapter!


	10. Some Things Only Love Can Fix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was rated M for a reason, and I've finally gotten to that reason! After two of the most emotional chapters I've written in a while, it's finally time to give you guys something to smile and cheer about. At least I hope you'll be smiling and cheering. I'm really insecure about this chapter because I personally feel it's needed, but some people might not see it that way. Damn writer insecurities creeping in!
> 
> Anyway, as always, huge thanks to hopedreamlovepray for helping beta this story.

His hands were in her hair, sinking into the tangled golden trusses as she wrapped her right arm around his neck, her left draping across the small of his back as he rolled on top of her. In the span of a few seconds, Felicity found herself pinned beneath the bulk of Oliver's weight, her body desperately clinging to him as his other hand slipped beneath her hoodie. She gasped when it made contact with the skin just above the waistband of her pants. It served to deepen the kiss and sent her own desperate need to touch him into overdrive.

Slipping her hand under his shirt, Felicity felt warm skin beneath her fingertips. This was the first time she'd ever really  _touched_  Oliver. All the other times had been to keep him still while she bandaged him up after an injury. But this was different. She was allowed to run her hand up his back, tracing over long healed scars, because he wanted her to.

His hands inched up her torso, stopping only when they reached the soft satin encasing her breasts. Felicity heaved a breath as he began to caress them through the fabric, kneading each one as his lips roamed from her mouth to her neck. They paused at her pulse point, sucking softly until she moaned, then traveled down along the pale column until they reached her collarbone.

Oliver pulled his hands from beneath her shirt, and she whimpered at the loss of contact. But it wasn't for long. His fingers took hold of the zipper and pulled it down until the front of the hoodie lay open. Felicity looked up at him, their eyes meeting in the soft glow of the incandescent light flickering from the lamps on the nightstands. Her left hand remained beneath his shirt, stroking soft circles against his back as her right reached up to cup his cheek.

Turning his head, Oliver closed his eyes and kissed her palm again. This was quickly becoming one of Felicity's favorite things. The soft smile that curled on her lips as he pressed kisses to her fingertips widened when his eyes opened again and he stared back at her. Those beautiful blue pools gazed at her with adoration and trust and she knew, instinctively, his heart was in her hands at that moment. She tilted her head up, placing a tentative kiss to his lips before wrapping her arm around his neck to pull him into her.

For the next hour, languid kisses passed between their lips and over their skin as hands roamed freely, exploring the curves of each other's bodies and memorizing each spot that elicited a moan. They were in no rush to take off their clothes. There was plenty of time for that later. Right now, it was more about connecting; getting to know each other in ways they had longed to do for a while now. Felicity was content just having her arms wrapped around Oliver, letting him know she was okay with taking this slow.

When she felt his fingers slip beneath her tank top again, Felicity knew he had reached his tipping point. Oliver's kisses became insistent as his fingers pulled the fabric from her abdomen, exposing warm skin inch by inch until the white cotton bunched up over her breasts. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he delicately lifted her up to pull the hoodie from her arms, being especially careful not to pull too hard on the left for fear of causing her pain.

Felicity appreciated the gentle way with which he undressed her. As the hoodie was dropped to the floor, she gazed up at Oliver with soft eyes and a warm smile, her lips meeting his for a simple kiss before she pulled away, grabbing the hem of her shirt with her right hand. It was loose enough for her to pull her right arm out before he slowly peeled it away from the left. It was discarded beside the hoodie leaving her in just a bra and black sweatpants.

Still sitting up in bed, she went to grab the hem of Oliver's shirt, but he beat her to it, quickly pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. Her fingers reached out, tracing the lines and ridges of his scars one by one, something she had longed to do from the moment she'd seen them. Felicity felt his breath hitch when she reached the ones covered by the bandage. It was soggy and needed to be removed immediately to prevent infection. With gentle fingers, she pulled it away to reveal the latest battle wound that still made her curious as to how he got it. She would ask him later, after this was over, not wanting to ruin the mood. The bandage at his back soon followed suit.

Leaning in, Felicity's lips met his for another soft kiss before she trailed them down his jaw until they reached the hollow of his neck. Her tongue tasted him there as his arms circled her waist to pull her to his chest. Warm kisses continued to fall over his left shoulder until she had reached the scar that had brought them together and revealed his secret to her. Soft fingers ran over it first, tracing the edges before she leaned in to kiss it. Again Oliver's breath hitched as he brought his hand up and tangled it in her hair.

"Felicity," he whispered, tipping her head up so their eyes met. She found need in those pale blue orbs, need that quickly translated into his kiss as he pulled her lips to his. Oliver wrapped his free arm around her back, his fingers splaying across her skin in an effort to feel as much of her as he could. They crept up to find the clasp of her bra and deftly unhooked it to let the satin fall free from her shoulders.

Oliver refused to break the kiss as he slid the straps down her shoulders, peeling it away from her body so her upper half was now naked. His fingers swept over her arms to fall on her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles against her neck. Felicity sighed into the kiss and found his tongue darting back into her mouth to do more exploring. One of his hands remained on her neck as the other trailed down and cupped her breast. She gasped when his thumb flicked over the sensitive nipple.

"Oliver," she moaned against his mouth, her right hand falling to the back of his neck as she scooted closer until her chest was pressed to his. Felicity felt her body being lifted up and quickly wrapped her legs around his thighs before he delicately laid her on the bed, his hand cradling her head before it hit the pillow.

When she was settled in, Oliver's lips broke from hers, trekking down her chin and kissing their way lower. Past the valley of her breasts he continued, only stopping when he reached the elastic band of her sweats. He hooked his fingers into it making sure he had her underwear as well then slowly dragged the material down her thighs as his lips kept kissing the skin he exposed. Felicity lifted her hips and soon felt his mouth pressed to the hard line of her hipbones. He moved across her belly to the other side and repeated it.

As his fingers brushed over the knots and loops of the stitches along her right thigh, Oliver stopped. The pained look that crossed his eyes as he glanced at her made Felicity sit up. It broke her heart to see him so hurt, but she couldn't let that happen. Reaching out, she gently stroked his face and whispered, "It's okay. I'm okay. Don't stop." Oliver hovered above the wound, uncertainty still present in those pale blue eyes. Cupping his chin, she brought his head up so their eyes met. "Please," Felicity begged, the reassurance easily conveyed in her voice.

Turning his head to kiss her palm again, he continued pulling her sweats and panties down her legs until she was free of them. Now completely naked, Felicity smiled down at him. Of all the scenarios she'd imagined Oliver taking her clothes off, this was by far the best one. It wasn't about intense passion or unadulterated lust. No, there was meaning behind each touch, each glance, each kiss. This was exactly how she'd wanted their first time to be.

And as he returned her smile, Felicity sat up again, her hands falling to either side of his face pulling him back to her lips. Oliver sighed contently as he nestled into her embrace, his mouth pressed to hers for more languid kisses as they lay in each other's arms. Even though it was her turn to remove the remainder of his clothes, she chose to continue kissing him as her left hand found its way into his hair. Her right hand skimmed down his back before coming to rest along the hem of his pants. She traced her index finger over the skin there feeling every raised edge of the scar that ran the width.

Hooking her thumb into the waistband, Felicity began to drag it down his hips but found it hard to do with just one hand. Oliver was quick to help her out, grabbing the other side and pulling the sweats off his body in one fluid motion without breaking the kiss. Now they were both naked and she could feel the hardness of his cock pressing into her belly. She reached between their bodies and wrapped her hand around it, slowly stroking him in time with her lips.

"Felicity," Oliver groaned before biting her lower lip and sucking it into his mouth. His fingers pulled at her hair as his hips bucked into her hand. He sat up, his hands falling to her sides and lifting her back slightly so she rested against his thighs. They stared at each other for several long moments, taking in the sight of their naked bodies in the pale yellow light that bathed the room.

"Oliver," she whispered, resting her hands over his. He stared at Felicity, his eyes searching for her permission to continue. She nodded and gave his fingers a light squeeze before smiling her approval. He leaned down for another kiss, his hips nestling against hers before he slipped between her wet folds and entered her slowly.

The deep, shuddering sigh that escaped Felicity's lips was followed by her fingers sinking into his back and hair. She held her breath until he was fully sheathed in her warm wetness before exhaling and wrapping her legs around his waist. Slowly they began to sway, their bodies picking up the rhythm quickly as Oliver wrapped his arms around her back, holding her close with each thrust of his powerful hips.

Biting her lip to keep the noise down, Felicity knew she wasn't going to hold out for very long and neither was Oliver. They were both on the brink of exhaustion, but their bodies craved the release that came with the intimacy of this act. She held him tight, her eyes never leaving his as their movements increased speed until the bed softly creaked beneath them and their breaths came in sort pants.

With every deep thrust of his hips, she knew they were getting closer. Felicity could feel the delicious tension building low in her belly as her walls tightened around his cock, coaxing him closer to the edge as well. It wasn't long before the first wave of her orgasm hit. She reached for his lips, stifling her cry against his mouth as her eyelids squeezed shut and the world exploded into stardust behind them. Her body shuddered and she felt him come along with her, his arms tightening around her back as the rest of his body went rigid.

They lay in each other's arms, relaxed and spent as their bodies slowly came down from the high. Felicity softly brushed her fingers against Oliver's temple as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his soft breaths fanning out over her shoulder. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair until he shifted and rolled them onto their sides. Nuzzling his nose, she placed a soft kiss to his lips before settling into the warmth of his embrace. Her left hand draped over his hip as their legs tangled together.

Oliver grabbed the comforter and threw it over them before his head settled on the pillow above hers. Bringing his hand to her face, he gently pulled the glasses off her nose and set them on the nightstand before reaching over to turn off the light. The light on his side flickered off soon after and his hand returned to her face. His fingers came to rest against Felicity's neck, softly stroking skin as she nestled closer to his chest until her ear was pressed to his heart. She smiled as she listened to the steady beat until it lulled her to sleep.

The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes was Oliver's soft sigh as he pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered, "Goodnight beautiful." Felicity attempted to murmur something back but it only came out as a hum. Within moments she fell into a deep slumber.

It was just before dawn when Felicity awoke. Pale tints of pink, purple and orange peeked out from behind the curtains as the sun began its ascent into the sky. The rain had stopped some time during the night, a welcome respite from the gloom that seemed to have settled over the area. She was sprawled out over Oliver's chest again, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tight as he slept. Then the memory of the previous afternoon came to mind and she realized just how prophetic her words had been.

 _"Only if you promise to sleep with me…"_  Felicity couldn't help but smile. He had fallen asleep with her then as he had fallen asleep with her now, their arms wrapped around each other, her body lying atop his, only this time the connection had become so much deeper and so much more meaningful.

Nuzzling his neck, she placed a soft kiss to his collarbone before resting her head against his shoulder. There was nowhere else Felicity wanted to be than here right now. The safety she felt in Oliver's arms kept away her dark thoughts and demons giving her the peace she so desperately sought. It was in his embrace she found her comfort and happiness. She knew this had been a long time coming. She had always trusted him, first with Walter's notebook then with her safety and now with her heart. It seemed like a logical progression, albeit a little more accelerated had they lived slightly more normal lives. Then again, she wouldn't give up helping the Hood for the world.

As her thoughts ambled from one thing to the next, Oliver's hand came to rest against her forehead, gently stroking her temple as he placed a kiss into her hair. Felicity smiled as she gazed up at him. Blue eyes met and a smile appeared on his face as well. "Good morning," she whispered before tilting her head to reach his lips. Their kiss was short and sweet, just enough to rouse them from their slumber.

"Good morning," Oliver replied, his fingers gently caressing her cheek. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well," Felicity said with a smile. "No nightmares."

"Good." He leaned down and kissed her forehead again.

"How about you?"

His lips quirked in a wider smile, "Better than before."

"I'm glad." Felicity shifted slightly, her body rubbing against his in a manner that had him tensing beneath her before his fingers began to trail down her side. The heated gaze Oliver fixed her with had her gasping as her hand fell to his chest. She settled on top of him, her lips finding his skin and kissing it softly. Delicate hands began to wander over the scars and marred flesh she'd traced the previous night until her fingers stilled over the still-healing wound above his heart, careful of the tender edges.

Gazing up, Felicity met his eyes. She found hesitation there, something she had been expecting. It prompted her to ask, "Oliver, how did this happen?" Her voice held more curiosity than anything as she circled the puncture with her forefinger.

The sigh that escaped his lungs made her rise and fall with his chest as she patiently waited for his answer. When he reached up to stroke her hair, Felicity tensed, thinking, yet again, he would put the walls up and not let her in. But Oliver continued to amaze her with his newfound ability to open up. "It was…" he hesitated for only a moment before adding, "self inflicted."

Felicity kept her breaths even as she forced down the desire to cringe. It was hard to hear her suspicions being confirmed. She reached up to reassuringly stroke his cheek, waiting for him to continue. Oliver sighed again, his fingers tangling in her hair as he silently pleaded with her to understand. When she nodded, he continued, "It happened when I was fighting with Malcolm. He… He had me in a headlock and was about to kill me. When I saw the arrow, I knew what I had to do." His eyes flicked away from hers.

"Oliver," she whispered, unable to keep the pain from her voice. Felicity hadn't realized just how close she'd coming to losing him that night, and now that she did, the overwhelming emotions that suddenly bubbled up came spilling out. Crushing her lips against his, she gave him an idea of how deep her fear went.

"Felicity," he murmured against her lips. "I'm sorry."

Pulling away, she replied, "I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters." With that, her mouth returned to his, frantically pressing kisses to his lips. Felicity needed to feel him again, moving with her, pushing her fears away with every thrust of his hips. Her arms wrapped around Oliver's neck as his hands settled on her thighs. Together they sat up, her legs circling around his waist. She could feel his hardness pressing against her bottom and reached down to stroke it.

Without breaking the kiss, Felicity slowly moved him into position. Just as she was about to sink down onto his cock, the door flew open.

"I heard you guys talking. I'm glad you're up because… OH MY GOD!" Thea screamed when her eyes fell on the site before her. The phone she held in her hands dropped to the floor as she quickly covered her eyes with her fingers and turned around.

"Don't you knock?!" Oliver yelled as he quickly grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Felicity before pulling her back down against the bed. In the rush, he didn't realize he'd grabbed her left arm until she let out a painful cry. Immediately turning towards her, he asked, "Are you alright?"

Felicity nodded though tears pricked her eyes. Grabbing her shoulder, she turned away from him hoping he hadn't seen her pain through the mortification of literally being caught with her pants down. As she clutched the blanket to her chest with her aching arm, Felicity sat up. Oliver had his arm around her waist seconds later, pulling her against his chest as they both stared at the embarrassed brunette. The tension in his stance was palpable.

"What do you want, Thea?" he asked, his voice carrying his annoyance.

"Never mind, it can wait," she stammered before reaching down and patting the ground looking for her dropped phone with her eyes still closed. When she found it, Thea jumped up and scurried out of the room. "You are so paying for my therapy when we get home," she muttered as the door closed behind her.

After she had gone, Oliver relaxed. "Are you okay?" he whispered against Felicity's ear as his hand fell to the mottled skin of her left shoulder. He gently brushed his fingers over it causing her to inhale sharply when they reached a tender spot. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling his hand away.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Felicity replied as she turned around to face him. "And it's just a little sore. Nothing some pain killers and a little ice can't fix." A smile lit up her face as she brushed her hand over his cheek. Oliver still looked dour, so she tried another tactic.

"You know, you and your sister share a common trait," Felicity mused as she laid back into the pillows and gazed up at him.

"What's that?" he curiously asked. His arm came around her waist as he settled in next to her.

"You don't think to knock!" she replied, bursting into a fit of giggles. The mood in the room immediately lightened.

Rolling on top of her, Oliver smiled. "I said it before, I'll say it again… It's the IT department, Felicity, not the ladies room," he replied, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice but failing miserably.

She continued to giggle, her hands stroking his face. As silence fell between them, Felicity said, "I love seeing you smile. I love seeing you happy even more."

The grin on his face widened. "You make me happy," Oliver whispered before he pressed a kiss to her lips.

Felicity felt her heart flutter. The change in Oliver between last night and this morning had been remarkable. Gone was the heavy weight that had constantly followed him around since the day they met. He seemed lighter, happier, and it was a beautiful sight to behold. She stared up at him with wonder and amazement. Was this what he was like before the island? Felicity pondered the question for a moment before deciding it probably was. And she liked it.

"Well, you make me happy," she replied, kissing him back. Her hand slid into his hair, keeping him firmly planted to her lips until they pulled away breathless. The desire had returned to Oliver's eyes as she bit her lower lip. "So, where were we before Thea so rudely interrupted?" Felicity asked, raising her hips slightly to grind them against his.

Oliver groaned, his arm wrapping around her waist before he rolled them over so she was on top once more. "I believe," he said, kissing her. "We were…" another kiss, "about to…" two more kisses, "continued what we were doing last night."

"Mmm," Felicity purred against his lips. "Sounds about right."


	11. Limbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised anthfan more Broken if she finished her next trope. So, here's the new chapter! Hope y'all like it.
> 
> Gotta give a huge shout out to my beta, hopedreamlovepray for helping write parts of this chapter when I got stuck. Thanks, girlie! You are seriously awesome when it comes to filling in the blanks. Thank you!
> 
> Also, school starts Monday, so just a fair warning that these chapters might get spaced a little farther apart because even though I have 2 classes this semester, neither are weather related, so I guess I'll actually have to start paying attention to my new professors.

"So, how bad do you think we messed up Thea?" Felicity said as she absently traced her finger along Oliver's chest. She was curled up on top of him, her head falling beneath his chin while his arms wrapped around her waist.

"She'll be fine," Oliver reassured her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "What about you? Still sore?"

"In all the right ways," Felicity smirked. It drew a chuckle from the man beneath her until she looked up and met his eyes. Folding her arms across his chest, she asked, "You know what I was thinking?"

"What?"

"We should go into town today, maybe grab lunch at the diner and do some shopping," she said. "I have been without technology for far too long."

"Are you trying to tell me something, Miss Smoak?"

"Nothing you don't already know." Felicity grinned at him before reaching up for a kiss. "Besides, how does this place not have a TV? I didn't see one downstairs and there isn't one up here."

"This  _place_  was made to get away from technology," Oliver clarified. "That's why there is no TV or computer or internet for that matter. Just a simple phone line and that's it."

"Huh… So that was the phone I heard ringing the other day…"

"Most likely."

"How many people know the number?"

"Only Diggle and Thea."

Felicity nodded. "I still need a tablet and a cell phone, though," she said, stretching her arms out until the left one protested any further movement. "I need to keep tabs on the Verdant servers. As soon as the power is restored they could be vulnerable. And it would also probably be a good idea to get back in touch with the outside world and see what's going on back home…"

Oliver sighed. She could tell he wasn't happy thinking about Verdant or Starling City at that moment. The news would probably be covering it non-stop right now, so it was good that they didn't have a TV. Anything to keep his mind off the destruction of the Glades and Tommy's death was a welcome respite.

But Felicity knew that they couldn't stay here forever. Yes, Diggle had told them to lay low for a couple of weeks until the head hunters' rage had been quelled. Even then she was still afraid there would be people out there gunning for Oliver and Thea. After all, Moira Queen had conspired with Malcolm to destroy the Glades, dragging the Queen name through the mud. If she was in jail, that left her children exposed and vulnerable. Oliver could easily take care of himself, but she was more worried about Thea.

"You're right," he said, startling Felicity out of her thoughts. She looked up at Oliver and gave him a reassuring smile before pulling herself up to softly kiss his lips.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," Felicity replied as she rolled off his chest and sat up. A flashback of the previous attempted shower suddenly popped into her head. Her body stiffened as the memory of the panic attack caused her heart to speed up and her breathing to still. The bed moved beneath her and suddenly Oliver was kneeling in front of her, his hands coming up to cup her face.

"You want me to join you?" he asked, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. His calm, reassuring smile eased her fears somewhat. Felicity simply nodded when she saw the overwhelming concern in his eyes and before long, they were both in the bathroom beneath the warm shower spray.

Even with Oliver there beside her, she couldn't get the memories out of her head. Felicity reached out to him, pulling herself into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her. When her head fell to his shoulder, his hands came up to stroke the wet strands of her golden hair. She was desperately holding back her tears using every last ounce of strength she had until Oliver whispered into her ear, "Cry."

And she did. A strangled sob escaped Felicity's throat as the torrent of tears she'd held back finally broke free. "It's okay," Oliver continued to murmur against her ear. "I'm right here." He began rocking her gently as her hands clung to his back.

Somehow, letting the emotions run their course as the water rained down on her skin felt like a huge weight was slowly being lifted off her shoulders. Felicity closed her eyes as the memories rushed through her mind. With each passing thought, she let go of some of the guilt and a small piece of her sanity seemed to return.

Having Oliver there as her safety net in case things became too much for her to handle gave Felicity the strength to push past the fear. He had quietly become her rock just as she had become his, grounding her when life seemed to knock her off her feet. She held him tighter as they rocked together under the warm water until the tears finally dried and the fear had subsided. He placed a tender kiss to her forehead as she gazed up at him, her eyes still red rimmed, but a weak smile having touched the edges of her lips.

"Thank you," Felicity mumbled before letting him go.

"Always," Oliver replied, cupping her chin as he leaned down to kiss her.

After about half an hour, they were both showered and wrapped in warm, fluffy towels. Oliver had redressed her thigh then offered to rummage through the closet to find her some clothes, but Felicity had declined. She stepped in with him and slowly went through the racks until she found a white turtleneck sweater and a pair of black leggings that looked like they would fit her. Also grabbing a bra and a pair of panties, she headed back into the bedroom to get dressed.

There was no need to ask Oliver for help this time. He was already there clipping her bra into place then helping her slip the turtleneck over her head. After shimmying into the leggings to find they fit her perfectly, Felicity put on her glasses then slid her arm into the sling. She sat down on the edge of the bed watching Oliver as he tugged on a pair of fitted blue jeans and a navy sweater before turning back to her.

"Ready?" he asked.

Felicity chewed on her bottom lip. "What do we tell Thea?" she replied, realizing that they would finally be facing the younger Queen for the first time since she'd walked in on them. The blush rose on Felicity's cheeks the more she thought about her conversation with Thea the previous. How was she going to explain what had happened between them and how they'd ended up in bed together? This had disaster written all over it.

"I can handle her," Oliver said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Felicity replied, still feeling slightly on edge. She'd been adamant with Thea that Oliver was only her friend and that they'd never slept together. With Thea having walked in on them in the midst of a hot tryst, Felicity knew she had a lot to answer for. She could only hope Oliver would diffuse the situation before Thea really started to dig for answers.

"I'm sure," he said, the calm in his voice quickly putting her at ease.

"Okay, let's go," Felicity sighed. She slipped on the brown suede knee high boots she'd worn since the day they'd gotten here and stood up. Oliver held out his hand to her and together they headed downstairs, their fingers intertwined.

"Well, look who's finally up!" Thea snickered as she stood from the dining table. She had also changed into a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized grey sweater. A black pea coat was slung over the back of her chair along with a large matching designer bag.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gazed at the two of them, their hands still locked together. Thea's expression was unreadable, making it hard for Felicity not to fidget under her scrutiny. "Looking good, Blondie," the younger woman finally said as a smile cracked on her face.

Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she was in the clear. Then again, Thea could have been biding her time, waiting to get Felicity alone before pouncing on her. That thought had her tensing again, but Oliver squeezed her hand and the tension quickly dissipated. At least he was there right now ready to answer any questions she couldn't handle herself.

"About this morning…" Oliver started to say before Thea waved her hand to stop him.

"Let's just forget it happened," she said.

"But what was so important that you needed to talk to us?' he asked.

Damn, that man had a sharp memory, Felicity thought as she gave him a sideways glance. She'd forgotten that Thea had come in talking about something.

"It was nothing. I just got a really weird phone call from Roy," Thea replied. Even though it seemed she was keeping things light, something told Felicity she was far more worried than she let on. And that talking to Oliver about her boyfriend was always a sore topic because it seemed that Roy was desperate to find out who the Hood was, something Oliver wasn't too keen on.

"Is he still in Starling?" Felicity asked, knowing she'd be the only one to take Thea's side at the moment. She knew all about Oliver's disapproval of Roy. He'd been angry that the younger man was so obsessed with finding the Hood that he'd dragged Thea into it as well.

Felicity saw it in a completely different light. She saw a little bit of Oliver in Roy. She saw his desperate need to help out any way he could. In that respect, he was exactly like Oliver, albeit not as well trained or disciplined. The boy had potential, she gave him that. But she wasn't about to encourage Oliver to let him join the team, if there was still a team to join. That was something Felicity worried about now that the Undertaking had happened and half the Glades was in a pile of rubble.

"Yeah, he forced me to leave the night of the earthquake, but we haven't spoken since then. I'm a little worried about him," Thea admitted as she looked down at her hands. Felicity knew that fear all too well. She let go of Oliver's hand and stepped over to the younger Queen.

"Cell service out there is probably still spotty at best," Felicity said, trying to be reassuring as she reached out and placed her hand on Thea's forearm. The brunette looked up at her with concerned eyes. Felicity smiled and decided it was time she changed the subject. "Hey, how about we get out of this house for a little while and do some shopping in town? I think you'll both agree with me that we've been cooped up in here for way too long. Besides, the sun's finally out. It'll do us some good to get some fresh air."

Thea paused for a moment, seemingly mulling it over until she replied, "Alright, I'm down for that."

"Great! How about some lunch first? I'm starving," Felicity said.

"Lunch would be fantastic," Thea replied as she slipped on her pea coat and slung her bag over her shoulder.

Felicity tried to follow suit with her own beige trench coat, but having her arm in a sling didn't give her much leeway. It was Oliver who slipped the coat over her shoulders before patting it down so it hung properly along her body. She gave him an appreciative smile before reaching into her pocket to find her keys then handed them to him. Although she wanted to slip her hand back into his, Felicity decided Thea needed her attention a little more than Oliver did so she hooked her arm around the younger woman's to lead them outside with Oliver following closely behind.

"Thea, where did you get that truck?" The edge to Oliver's voice was almost palpable as they exited the front door, the sunlight nearly blinding them as it reflected off the two cars sitting in the driveway.

"It's Roy's," she answered flatly without turning around to look at him.

Felicity could almost hear him growl, but she chose not to acknowledge it. They all headed for her Mini and were soon off towards downtown Astoria, Oliver driving with Felicity beside him in the passenger's seat and Thea sitting in the back. Their first stop: the diner.

Downtown Astoria wasn't a very crowded place. It was a tiny, quiet, off-the-beaten-path kind of town, with only a few stores lining the streets along with the Morningside Diner and Main Street Café. From what Felicity could see, there was also a pharmacy, a bookstore, a grocery store and much to her surprise an electronics store that prided itself on being able to fix anything. Obviously they didn't know Felicity Smoak, she almost snidely thought as Oliver pulled into the same spot she'd parked in a few days prior in front of the diner.

As they entered the cozy little restaurant and began looking for a place to sit, a voice from the counter startled them. "Oh… My… Goodness!" All three of them turned to find Liv standing behind the counter in her pink bowling shirt, her hands pressed to her cheeks with a wide smile on her face. She practically ran from the cash register as she cried, "My little Butter Buns is back in town!"

From beside her, Felicity could hear Thea snicker, "Butter Buns?" as she looked up at Oliver to find him reaching out to the older woman, enveloping her in a hug.

"My, what a handsome young man you've turned into!" Liv gave him an approving once over before turning to his sister. "You must be Thea," she said. "It is so nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. And you are?" Thea replied with a smile. Although Liv's enthusiasm was infectious, she was still slightly apprehensive of the older woman who stood in front of her.

"Oh, pardon my manners. I'm Liv Isenberg, Doc's wife and owner of this lovely little diner," she answered, holding out her hand. They shook politely before Liv turned to Felicity. "And, you, darling, you gave me such a fright the other night. It's good to see you looking better."

"Thank… you?" Felicity squeaked out, unsure on how to take the woman's hospitality.

Liv led them to a booth towards the edge of the diner where there was a little more privacy. After they'd settled in, with Thea on one side and Oliver and Felicity on the other, she asked, "So, what would y'all like to drink?"

"I'll have a diet Coke," Thea said.

"Coffee, please," Felicity answered.

"Water," Oliver rounded out their drink order before Liv hurried off to grab them.

"Butter Buns? Really? That was your nickname out here?" Thea said as she sat back against the plush red leather seat. "How has this been kept a secret for so long? You'd think the tabloids would have dug up this little golden nugget ages ago."

"Shut up, Speedy," Oliver shot back with a scowl that only served to make her giggle. His gaze settled on Felicity, who was desperately trying to hold back her laughter. "Seriously, you too?" She could see him getting flustered.

"Hey, I'm totally with Thea on this one. How did you get the nickname 'Butter Buns' anyway?" Felicity asked. After all the teasing he'd done to her the other night, it was nice to get back at him. Finally, Oliver Queen was in the hot seat instead of her.

"He was running through my kitchen after having stolen a cookie from one of the cooling racks," Liv said as she reappeared with their drinks. She set down the diet Coke and water first then a mug for Felicity along with the entire pot of coffee. "Ollie must have been five. He'd been asking me all day when they would be ready, and I told him to stop because he was going to ruin his appetite for dinner. But the boy just wouldn't listen. He snuck into the kitchen before I'd even had time to clean it up, grabbed a cookie thinking he was in the clear, then went sliding across the floor where I'd accidentally dropped some butter. Fell flat on his buns moaning and groaning. I came running in thinking he'd hurt himself, but he just stood up rubbing his little butt with one hand while eating the cookie with the other. And the name just fit... So that was how Ollie got the nickname 'Butter Buns.'"

Thea burst out laughing, "You are so never going to live this down!" Oliver shot her a glare worthy of his alter ego before turning it on Felicity, who was also in stitches beside him.

"I am so telling Dig this story when we get back!" she cried, holding her sides as the ache of her laughter became evident.

"You are not telling anyone, anything. Do I make myself clear?" His tone said "Hood" but his glare had softened. Felicity could see the laughter had a positive effect on him as well. The tension in Oliver's shoulders had loosened as he sat back, his face having taken on a blush comparable to hers when she became flustered.

"Alright, fine," Felicity easily relented as she nudged him with her elbow before they glanced at each other. Taken aback by the beaming smile he gave her, she tilted her chin up to place a soft kiss to his lips. Beneath the table, he laced his fingers with hers as her head fell to his shoulder.

"Ew, get a room!" Thea playfully shot back. Felicity simply stuck her tongue out at her, but she didn't miss the deeper meaning in the brunette's mindful eyes. Nor did she miss the knowing look she got from Liv as she stood beside them, pad and pen in hand waiting to take their order.

"So, now that the trip down memory lane is over, what are y'all having for lunch?" she asked. "I can whip up whatever you like, even if it's not on the menu."

"Do you still make that amazing pulled pork sandwich with the coleslaw?" Oliver asked.

"Anything for my Butter Buns!" She scribbled down his order before turning to Thea. "How about you, darling?"

"I have no idea. What would you recommend?"

"Let's see, I make a mean barbeque chicken sandwich." Liv gave the brunette a soft smile and added, "It's one of the best in town. I make the sauce myself too."

"I'm sold! Put me down for one, please," Thea replied before taking a sip from her drink.

"And how about you, sweetheart?" Liv had turned her attention to Felicity, who was still nestled comfortably against Oliver's shoulder pondering her lunch choices.

"A salad would be good," Felicity answered. Although she wasn't as hungry as she had been earlier, a little something would go a long way today, and a salad seemed fitting.

"Oh, no, I'm not feeding you rabbit food!" Liv practically scolded in a soft, almost playful tone as she scribbled something down on her notepad. "After Doc told me what happened to you, I think you're in need of a good old fashioned plate of country fried steak with mashed potatoes and cornbread."

"Uh… Okay. I guess I'll have that then." There really was point in arguing, Felicity thought. After all, the woman had made them some delicious pastries the previous day. She wasn't about to be the only one to protest her hospitality and possibly offend a woman who seemed to have a very fond place in her heart for Oliver. So she relented, figuring if she didn't eat it all, she'd just give it to him.

With that, Liv scurried off to the kitchen to place their orders with the cook.

"I wonder if Liv has anymore good stories," Thea conspiratorially turned to Felicity and said as she leaned forward in her seat.

"No more stories." Oliver seemed to be putting his foot down this time. The menacing look he gave Thea said it all.

"Alright, alright," she shrugged. "I won't ask."

Their food arrived within ten minutes, the conversation continuing to be light with Oliver's fond memories of Astoria, from summers spent exploring the forest to winters spent sailing around the bay. Liv had stopped by the table several times to chime in with her own stories of Oliver's exploits, but none had been as funny as how he got his nickname. Most were memories of his penchant for getting hurt in the strangest of ways, like falling from a tree when he was six.

Felicity found herself watching the younger Queen through most of the conversation. She could see the worry behind her smiles and laughter. Thea truly was concerned about the phone call from Roy, and for some reason, a tendril of uneasiness ran through her. Thinking of all that waited for them when they returned to Starling City caused Felicity's hand to tighten involuntarily around Oliver's. He gave her a quick sidelong glance and while she tried to smile up at him reassuringly, she could tell he saw through her attempt. He squeezed her hand in return - an unspoken offering of comfort to her. After that, she let herself be pulled back into the light-hearted conversation.

Lunch was quickly eaten, with even Felicity finding herself able to finish her plate as Oliver and Thea looked on in wonder when she asked about dessert. Slices of homemade apple pie with vanilla ice cream were devoured within minutes and soon the overly stuffed trio was bidding farewell to their gracious host.

"Please stop by again soon," Liv said as she wrapped Oliver in a bear hug even though she was only an inch or two taller than Felicity. "I've missed you, Ollie. When I heard about the boat accident, I cried like a baby for almost a month straight. But you're back and, my oh my, is it good to have you here."

"I promise I'll be back again," Oliver said as she kissed his cheek before pulling back.

Liv turned to Thea next, also giving her a big hug before she made her way to Felicity. She wrapped her arms around the younger woman, pulling her close as she whispered in her ear, "Take good care of Ollie for me, please. He may be too big for his britches at times, but he's got a good heart. Always has."

"I know, and I will," Felicity whispered back.

They left the warmth of the diner and headed back out into the cool spring sunshine of the outdoors. Oliver's hand had found its way back into Felicity's as they strode down the sidewalk together with Thea a couple steps ahead of them. She seemed to be in her own little world, her eyes barely straying from the phone in her hands. That's when Felicity decided she needed to stop her from over-thinking about Roy's phone call.

To be honest, she saw a little of herself in the younger Queen with the way she was worried about her boyfriend. It was akin to the way Felicity worried about Oliver. So, she let go of his hand, silently nodding at him that she was going to go with Thea. He sighed, nodding back and giving her a tight smile before turning around. The electronics store was opposite the direction they were going.

Felicity caught up to Thea with ease, her right arm hooking around the younger woman's left, startling her out of her thoughts. "So, ready to do some shopping?" Felicity asked, her smile bright and cheery.

"Um, yeah…" It took Thea a moment to comprehend what was going on before she quickly recovered, giving Felicity a genuine smile as she slipped her phone into the pocket of her coat. "I thought I saw a boutique over here."

"Good, because I'm kinda getting tired of wearing someone else's clothes even though they seem to fit me," Felicity said.

"Well, you do look good in Kate Spade," Thea commented as she pushed open the door to Small Town Girls Boutique and led them into the little clothing store. It may not have been the high fashion the brunette was used it, but it was right up Felicity's alley.

There were several racks of vintage clothing that spanned one wall of the store while the rest was separated into racks of the basics. Felicity's attention was immediately drawn to the vintage jeans she spied to her left and made her way towards them with Thea in tow.

For the next hour they roamed the store, trying on whatever caught their eyes. The longer they shopped, the more comfortable Felicity became around the younger Queen and vice versa. They were both opening up to each other about all sorts of things from high school to hair styles to makeup.

Felicity found herself in the dressing room for the fourth time trying on a cute dress that had caught her eye while Thea leaned against the door outside. The store was quiet except for them and she found herself enjoying the easiness she was coming to feel in this small town. She could tell why it was a getaway for the Queens.

Turning around and looking at herself in the mirror, she smiled at the pattern of flowers that danced along the hemline of the knee-length navy dress. The vibrant colors of the petals pulled her in and she knew exactly what cardigan she could pair with it from her clothes back at her apartment.

Thea knocked on the door. "You almost done, Blondie?" she jabbed good-naturedly, and Felicity smiled, rolling her eyes. If there was one thing she was learning about the younger Queen, it was that patience was not one of her stronger traits, something else she seemed to share with her brother.

Opening the door, she twirled for Thea who smiled and clapped her hands. "You're so getting that! Ollie will love it on you!"

Felicity felt herself blush and looked down, biting her lip. She couldn't deny she'd been thinking of how Oliver would react to seeing her in some of the clothes she'd tried on - not that she was specifically buying for him, but she couldn't deny wanting to see his blue eyes light up when he saw her. In the back of her mind, she heard a voice telling her that his eyes already shone when she walked into the room. For some reason, that voice sounded a lot like Diggle's.

Thea noticed her apprehensive look, and ushered Felicity back into the dressing room to help her unzip the dress. While Thea exited and shut the door, Felicity quickly slipped out of the garment. From the other side of the door, she heard Thea clear her voice and knew she was about to ask something that she might not be able to answer. Quickly, she slipped on her leggings and sweater and pushed the door open so she was face to face with the younger Queen.

"So, you and Ollie…" Thea said as she leaned against the fitting room door watching Felicity's blush rise from her cheeks all the way to her chest through the mirror while she put the clothes back on their respective hangers.

She knew this conversation was going to happen and although Felicity thought she had been prepared for it, nothing came close to the rising panic she suddenly felt as Thea sized her up. "What about Oliver and me?" Felicity asked, trying to keep her voice even, but a slight crack still managed to weasel its way out.

"What happened last night?" Thea asked. There was no malice or accusation in her voice. She was more curious than anything.

Felicity let out the breath she'd been holding as she turned around to face the younger Queen. "A lot of things happened last night," she admitted. "Things that needed to happen…"

"What things?"

"Well, for one, Oliver finally opened up about a lot of stuff he'd been holding back. He got a lot off his chest."

"I'm glad because today was the first day I've seen him look more like his normal, before island self than he has since he came back."

"I never knew him before the island, but this is the happiest I've seen him since we met."

"When did you guys meet?"

"Seven months ago. He came into my office with a laptop he'd spilled a latte on and asked me to salvage the information on it. You brother barely knew how to Google before he met me. Don't get me wrong, he's still an idiot when it comes to technology. He probably still couldn't web search his way out of a paper bag, but he's a quick study."

Thea laughed. "Well at least he's learning something. He still isn't caught up on half the gossip of the last six years. I've been trying to get him to watch some movies with me, but he gets all grumpy and always has to leave for some reason. Does he do that to you?"

"All the time."

"Then good luck being his girlfriend."

Felicity froze, her expression falling at the term "girlfriend." It had just dawned on her that she and Oliver had slept together yet there was no moniker attached to their relationship. She hadn't even thought about discussing what they were until this very moment when Felicity realized she'd just assumed he had feelings for her that went beyond friendship when their whole night together could have just been a way of dealing with the aftermath of all that he'd been through.

"Oh, no," Thea breathed. "You two haven't talked about this, have you?"

Gazing over at the brunette, Felicity shook her head.

"Shit," Thea muttered. "I'm sorry. I had no idea. It just seemed like you two were so happy together that I kinda made that assumption. I should really stop jumping to conclusions. I did the same thing to Roy…" Her voice trailed off as she, too, felt the sudden pang of uncertainty and fear.

"Thea," Felicity said as she reached out to the younger woman, glad for the change of topic. She placed her hand on her forearm and Thea's eyes immediately shot to hers. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything… Everything's fine," Thea wavered as she looked away. Felicity squeezed her arm and she continued, "It's just… I'm really worried about him. We haven't talked since I left the Glades in his truck and I'm scared something might have happened to him. When he called me this morning, all I could hear over the phone was breathing and a few broken words, but then the phone call ended and I haven't been able to get a hold of him since."

Rubbing her hand up and down Thea's arm, Felicity replied, "If you want, I can try and ping his location when we get back to the house. Will that help you?"

"I… I guess," Thea said with a weak smile. They gathered up their purchases and headed for the cash register. Thea had loaded her arms with several shirts and pairs of jeans while Felicity realized she only had enough money on her for a t-shirt. She was getting ready to put down the rest of the things that she found fit her perfectly when Thea snatched them from her and plopped them on the counter along with her purchase.

"Thea, please, you don't have to…" she tried to protest, but the brunette was having none of it.

"Hey, it's not every day you meet someone willing to go out of their way to find your boyfriend," Thea said as she handed the saleswoman her credit card. "Especially when said boyfriend is despised by her brother. So think of this as a great big thank you for completely going against Oliver's hatred for Roy and giving me some peace of mind."

"You really don't have to do this," Felicity replied, still stunned that the younger Queen had shelled out over a hundred dollars on clothing for her.

"It's also rare for my brother to find a woman who actually cares about him and makes him happy," Thea added, grabbing their bags as they headed out of the store. They walked back out into the crisp spring sunshine arm in arm.

Felicity was still mulling over her relationship status with Oliver when off in the distance, she saw him leaning against her car awaiting their return. She paused for a moment and Thea took notice.

"You know what?" the younger woman said, following her gaze and finding her brother at the end of it.

Felicity turned to her and asked, "What?"

"There really isn't a label for what you and Ollie have," Thea replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you last night I knew something deep connected you. I saw it today at lunch. The way you two looked at each other… It was like watching an old married couple who had been together for years. I got a little jealous! I hope Roy looks at me like that," Thea lightly joked. It earned her a smile from the blonde beside her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't concern yourself with labeling your relationship with Ollie. You can figure that out later. What's important right now is that you're together and that you have each other's backs."

Felicity's arm flew around Thea's neck, bringing her in for a tight hug. "Thank you," she murmured into her ear. "I really needed that."

"I know," Thea replied as they pulled apart. "I really think we should head back now because I'm pretty sure Ollie's got his grumpy cat face on."


	12. Secrets, Lies and Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning about this chapter: TISSUES ARE A MUST! And if you are of age, I also highly recommend alcohol.
> 
> And a gigantic THANK YOU to my beta, hopedreamlovepray, because I put her through hell with this chapter, so much so that she wrote half the next one just so she could fix it. And then she helped write a few scenes in this one as well. Truly one of a kind! I don't think I coulda done this without you, girl.

The smile that greeted Felicity wasn't the one she'd seen on Oliver's face earlier that day. Gone was the carefree sparkle he'd had in his eyes when he'd kissed her in the diner only a few hours earlier. It had been replaced with the far more familiar tension she was used to seeing on a daily basis. He still greeted her with a kiss, but it was short and strained. He was pulling away far too soon and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened while she and Thea had been shopping.

"Ready to go?" Oliver asked tightly as his hand slipped into hers.

Felicity bit her lower lip before nodding, "Yeah, I guess." She could feel the tension in his body strung tightly like his bow string from the way his fingers stiffly held onto hers. As Oliver walked her to the other side of the car, she quietly asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth. The old Oliver had most definitely returned. He was hiding from her again and she could feel her heart breaking the longer they stood there staring at each other, the tension building between them.

Squeezing his fingers, she softly begged, "Oliver, don't… Please don't do this." The slight crack in her voice helped to soften his features as his free hand came up to stroke her face.

With a sigh, Oliver replied, "I'll tell you when we get back to the house." Felicity hoped he was being truthful and that he wasn't just saying things to placate her.

"I'm holding you to that," she said, pulling him in for another kiss. This one felt more like the ones from earlier and she breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled away and smiled at her with that genuine, candid smile she loved so much.

Opening the car door, Oliver reached in to grab the bag that sat in the passenger's seat. "I think you'll appreciate this," he said, the smile remaining on his lips. Felicity's eyes lit up when he pulled out a brand new cell phone that was very much like her old one. "I know it doesn't have all your apps, but you still have your old number."

"Oliver, I…" For the first time in a long time, Felicity was speechless. She stared at the little device in her hands and couldn't help but grin. Turning it on revealed all the messages and voicemails she still had to get through. She put the phone in her pocket and gazed back up at him.

"I had to put it on silent because the second the guy put in the card, it wouldn't stop beeping," Oliver said with a slight chuckle. "There's more," he added, reaching back into the bag and pulling out something else. "Top of the line." A brand new tablet glistened in the mid afternoon sunshine. It had a slightly larger screen than her old one as well as being thinner and lighter. Felicity's gaze immediately shot up to meet his.

"Oliver, this is too much," she breathed. "First Thea goes and buys me a bunch of new clothes and now you buy me not only a phone, but the best tablet on the market… I… I don't know what to say!"

"Thank you comes to mind." Oliver grinned down at her.

"Thank you." Felicity was on the tips of her toes, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was cut short when a throat cleared behind them. Thea stood a couple feet back, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave them both a sly half smile.

"We headed back or are you two just going to make out in the parking lot?" she asked before pulling the door to the backseat open and hopping inside.

Felicity just smiled and followed suit, placing the tablet back into the bag but keeping the phone in her pocket. She needed to get the thing up to speed with all her backed up contacts and apps. By the time they'd reached the cottage, she'd already downloaded almost everything from her offsite server and was in the process of installing apps when an incoming call stopped everything. "Mom" blinked across the screen as Oliver pulled into the driveway.

"I have to take this," Felicity said with a sigh as he looked over at her, his face back to its stoic gaze before he nodded. Again, she felt her heart drop in her chest when she realized he was reverting back to his old self. Whatever had happened in the electronics store really threw Oliver for a loop. She needed to talk to him, but with her mother probably worried sick about her being MIA since the earthquake, there was no avoiding this phone call.

"Hi Mom," Felicity answered as calmly as she could.

"Felicity Megan Smoak, where have you been these last three days? You had me scared to death that you'd died in that earthquake!" her mother yelled from the other end, but she could tell there was relief in her voice as well.

"I'm fine, Mom," she lied as Oliver came to open her door. "My friends and I left before it happened. We decided to take a little vacation this week." Somehow she'd managed to spin a slightly believable tale, but Felicity hated lying to her mother. She did lead a double life, though, and right now, she was deep in the thick of it in a place far, far away from her home and her family.

"Oh, thank god," her mother heavily sighed. "Your father and I went to your apartment to look for you and… Why didn't you tell me you were going on vacation?"

The lies kept tumbling from her lips as she replied, "It was a spur of the moment thing. Oliver thought it would be a great idea to get away for a little while…"

"Oliver? Is he your boyfriend?"

Felicity cringed. Again, their relationship status was brought to the forefront of her mind, and now she could see that Oliver was looking at her with intent. "He's a friend who happens to be a boy," she replied diplomatically hoping to appease them both. "His sister came along too. We rented this little cottage on the coast."

"I want to meet this Oliver when you get back."

"One of these days," Felicity answered. She needed to end this conversation now because he was still staring at her, his eyes raging with emotions she knew had everything to do with the fact that he'd heard her mother refer to him as her boyfriend. "Look, Mom, I gotta go. We're just coming back from town and have a lot of stuff to unload from the car. I'll call you later. Bye!" And with that, she hung up before her mother got a chance to respond.

The phone was slid into her pocket as Felicity stepped out of the car. She grasped Oliver's hand and held tight even as she felt the tension roll off his shoulders in waves. He wouldn't even meet her gaze as they stepped into the house. When he began to let her go, she laced her fingers with his, tugging his arm until he turned around to face her.

"Can we please talk about… everything?" Felicity whispered.

"Later," Oliver coldly replied before dropping her hand and heading upstairs.

She could feel her heart begin to shatter as tears welled in her eyes. He was pulling away, retreating back into the dark recesses of his mind, and Felicity felt like there was nothing she could do to stop it. From behind her, she could hear Thea come in with their shopping bags. They were placed by the stairs as Felicity frantically wiped two tears that had slid down her cheeks in an attempt to hide her pain as the younger Queen's gaze settled on her.

"You alright?" Thea asked, kicking off her shoes and throwing her coat over the back of the couch. She came over to help Felicity take off her coat before placing it on top of hers.

"I'm… I'm fine," she stammered. "You ready to start searching for Roy?" A change of topic was sorely needed before Felicity's mind began to focus on the cavernous distance that was slowly beginning to tear her and Oliver apart again.

The two women took a seat on the couch as Felicity pulled out her new tablet and began download a couple of programs that would help track Roy's cell phone. As she waited for them to finish installing, the sling around her left arm was discarded. It would only be a hindrance to her typing abilities. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to be using her whole arm much at that moment. After about ten minutes of setting up her programs and logging on to yet another offsite server, she was ready to plug in the information and start her search.

"What's Roy's number?" Felicity asked.

"Oh, um…" Thea rattled off the seven digit phone number and Felicity began searching.

Half an hour passed as she typed away, hacking into cell phone providers and towers, back tracing Roy's movements throughout the day. It turned out to be harder than she thought as another hour passed. Cell towers in the Glades were probably still in the process of being repaired, which meant little service at best. But she kept going, like a dog with a bone, until she found him.

Almost two and a half hours passed before a little red dot appeared on the screen with GPS coordinates beside it. "Yes!" she exclaimed, fist bumping the air as Thea ran in from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.

"You found him?" she asked excitedly.

"I think I did!" Felicity replied, her grin spreading from ear to ear now that she'd finally made progress with something. "Let me get the address to his location…"

"You don't need to. That's his apartment," Thea said as she pointed to the screen. She wrapped her arms around the blonde's shoulders and added, "Felicity, you are a godsend!"

Felicity leaned into her embrace, still smiling as the younger Queen stood up from the couch and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "You think he's got service?"

"Well, considering it took me almost two hours to find him, it's probably not that great. His location keeps disappearing every few minutes, but he hasn't moved from that spot in a while," Felicity answered. "You can try calling him, but…" Just then the dot disappeared again. "You're probably not going to be able to reach him."

"Thank you so much," Thea said, hugging her once more. "I feel way better now that I know he's at his place and not running around trying to save people."

Felicity sighed as Thea's words brought up a mental image of Oliver, dressed in green wielding his bow and arrow, doing just that. Her eyes dropped to her tablet as she shut it down and put it on the coffee table. She needed something to do that didn't involve thinking about him and quickly asked, "Do you need any help in the kitchen?"

"Nah, I'm almost done," Thea replied. "Frankly, I think you need to go upstairs and deal with grumpy cat. I haven't seen him since we came back so I'm pretty sure he's probably sulking right now because I stole you away for so long."

Felicity sighed. She'd been dreading this moment since Oliver let go of her hand and headed up to the master bedroom earlier that afternoon. But she knew this was one talk that needed to happen between the two of them, even if it turned into a disaster. She needed to know how he felt, but first a foremost, she needed to know why he'd shut down again.

As Felicity got off the couch and headed up the stairs, the pounding of her heart steadily became faster until she felt panic begin to overwhelm her. The sound of blood rushing through her ears was the only thing she could hear. For a moment Felicity wanted to run, jump in her car and just go home, but she stopped herself. No, Oliver was important to her. She needed to find out what was wrong, why he was reverting back to his old self.

Before reaching the door, Felicity stood in the hallway taking in several deep breaths to try and calm down. She kept her fingers against the pulse point in her neck, counting the beats until they fell below a hundred. That's when she summoned the courage to push open the door and step inside.

Oliver was lying on the bed still in his jeans and sweater, but his eyes were staring off in the distance through the windows and out across the ocean. "Hey," Felicity mumbled. He turned his head but he didn't say anything. She avoided the bed, preferring instead to stand by one of the windows, her back pressed against the wall.

From her vantage point, the tension in his shoulders was still visible. Oliver's eyes were guarded and his expression stoic as ever. Felicity bit her lip before pushing off the wall to come stand at the foot of the bed. "Can we talk now?" she tentatively asked. He sighed heavily then nodded.

"Oliver, what happened today while Thea and I were out shopping?" Felicity continued her questioning as her right hand fidgeted with the collar of her turtleneck where it hung tightly around her throat. She wanted to blame it for the suffocating feeling she had suddenly begun to experience, but Felicity knew better. Swallowing to clear her throat, she waited for Oliver to respond.

Several long, silent minutes passed until he sighed and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed so he could stand. Oliver made his way over to where she stood but kept a few feet of separation between them. She could feel the rift between them slowly turn into a canyon. "They had the news on in the electronics store, nonstop coverage with that god awful commentary blasting my mother and my family. It was hard to watch," he admitted, but his gaze was still downcast and she couldn't see his eyes.

Felicity inched her way closer to him, feeling out Oliver's mood before she placed her hand over his forearm. She could feel his muscles tense and flex beneath her fingers as he tried to look anywhere but her face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I just... I let myself get caught up in this dream world between last night and this morning - almost forgetting what happened. How can I be happy when I caused so much pain?" Pain and anger were evident in his voice as he continued to keep his eyes downcast and away from her. But from what she could see, he was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check, and it hurt to watch the pain consume him.

Tears pricked her eyes and Felicity swallowed the burn that his words caused. "Oliver, it's okay to find peace somewhere. You needed comfort… we both did. And I know we didn't really talk about this, but please… I need to know… What did it mean to you? Was I just convenient? Because you know that's not how I feel. I care about you deeply and I… Oh, god, I'm making this worse." She dropped her hand from his arm when he felt it tense beneath her fingers. Her hands fisted at her sides, her shoulder protesting the tight stance of her muscles.

"Felicity." His voice was rough and she froze at the sound, bracing herself for what came next but knowing her heart might not be able to take it. Oliver sighed deeply, his gaze downcast for a moment before he looked at her. Felicity gasped. It was the coldest looked he'd ever given her and immediately her heart began to sink in her chest.

"It was just comfort," Oliver said, his voice strained with pain and something she couldn't quite put her finger on. "You said it yourself, it was convenient. I'm sorry for taking advantage of that, but my feelings for you don't go beyond friendship."

His words weren't what cut the deepest, it was the way he'd said them. The cold look he'd given her spoke of the turmoil that had been going on through his heart as well, but it did nothing to lessen the sting. The icy tone to his voice told Felicity he was distant and unaffected as he spoke. Oliver had become unreadable, and that was something that scared her far more than the use of his Hood voice and persona. It didn't stop her from questioning him, though. "But last night… and then this morning… and everything else… How… How could you not feel something…?"

Oliver cut her off before she could say anything more. "Felicity, drop it. That was me being stupid and leading you on. Last night and this morning… That was us living in a dream world."

The shaky breath she forced from her lungs pained her as the numbness caused by his words spread through her body. Felicity found herself pressed against the wall again, this time searching for something to keep her standing as her knees no longer seemed to function. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat before looking back up at him. Oliver's stance hadn't changed. He was just as cold as he'd been a few moments earlier when he'd said those heartbreaking words.

He sighed heavily and gave her a long, unreadable look. Her eyes burned as she watched him waiting for the moment when he would break into a smile and come back to her, but he didn't. His jaw was set in a firm line, his hands fisted at his sides before he blinked and walked past her down the stairs.

Felicity wanted to believe Oliver was lying, that these were the words of a man who was in too much pain to realize what he was saying, but right then, he wasn't her Oliver... he was a ghost of himself. Physically he was there, but emotionally he was miles away. Somewhere deep in her heart she knew he was off, that something wasn't right, but he'd put up a fortress she couldn't penetrate.

A sob was ripped from Felicity's throat before she could stop it. Her hand came flying over her mouth in hopes of keeping her pain silent, but her cries continued. Pushing off the wall, she walked to the door and gently closed it before curling up in the bed and letting her body succumb completely to the agony. Her heart felt like it had been shattered into a million tiny little pieces. This was thousands of times worse than the guilt she'd experienced over what happened in the Glades.

Oliver hadn't just completely shut her out at that moment, he'd taken her heart and run it over with a bulldozer. The crushing pain had her sobbing into her pillow for the next hour until a soft knock from the door startled her. Felicity did her best to try and compose herself, using the sleeve of her turtleneck to wipe away her tears before she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Thea, you decent?" came the response.

"Give me a minute," Felicity yelled back as she scurried around the room looking for something to change into. The hoodie from the night before would suffice. Ever so gently, she pulled her sweater over her head then took off her bra and slipped into the warm green sweatshirt. Her leggings were discarded and replaced with a pair of shorts she found in the closet. Taking one last deep breath, Felicity reached for the door handle and pulled it open.

Thea was still standing outside, her back leaning against the wall. "You look like hell," she said upon seeing Felicity's current state. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. "You just woke me up." When had the lies become so easy to tell? It was a question Felicity found quite disturbing. She hated lying, hated that it had become such a natural part of her life now. But that's what was required to keep Oliver's secret. Even with that afternoon's sudden revelation, she still felt the need to protect him. So tonight, she would find her polite mask and put on a show to prove that his words would not bring her down.

"Well, dinner's ready if you wanna come down and join us," Thea said.

"Of course," Felicity answered. She followed the younger Queen down the stairs and into the kitchen where Oliver was already sitting waiting for them. He glanced up at her but quickly looked back down at the phone in his hands as she took a seat at the far end of the table.

"Seriously, what the hell is going on between the two of you?" Thea griped as she set down a fresh garden salad and a plate of grilled chicken breasts seasoned simply with salt and pepper.

"Nothing," Oliver immediately replied. It earned him a glare from the brunette before her gaze fell on Felicity.

"Nothing," she murmured, her eyes falling into her lap.

"That's not nothing," Thea stated as her hands fell to her hips. Tapping her foot against the tile floor, she waited for one of them to say something more, but silence had enveloped the room. "Alright, fine, don't say anything. I'll find out what's going on soon enough," she added, plopping down into her chair before grabbing a fork and stabbing at a piece of chicken before putting it on her plate.

"Seriously, did something happen on the drive home that I was oblivious to?" Thea asked, glancing questioningly between the two of them. Felicity looked at Oliver who stared at his plate and then silently shook her head to answer Thea.

"Okay, then," and she turned her attention to her brother, "Ollie, I'm sorry I stole her away from you when we got back. But she's amazing and helped me find Roy by tracking his phone and I feel so much better. If I caused this, I'm sorry."

Felicity watched as Thea prodded her brother, but he refused to answer her.

"Thea, it had nothing to do with you," she finally whispered tiredly. "I assumed something I shouldn't have, that's all. It's not your fault. And I'm glad I could help you."

She swallowed around the lump in her throat and returned to eyes to her plate, eating her last bite of salad while she willed the tears to stay away. Out of the corner of her eye, she swore Oliver's fork froze on the way to his mouth, and she ached to raise her eyes to see his expression but refused to give anything away about her state.

The rest of dinner went on silently as well, with the occasional mutter from Thea about not liking being given the silent treatment and that she was going to get one of them to talk tonight if it was the last thing she did. Oliver's eyes never strayed from his plate even as Felicity kept throwing short glances in his direction, daring him to say something, desperately wanting him to say something. But he was distant and mute. She swore she felt his eyes on her though - she knew that feeling, and it made it even harder to push down the heartbreak she was hiding.

With their meals finished, Thea grabbed their empty plates and loaded them into the dishwasher as Felicity stood up and made her way to the stairs. When she reached the second floor, she could hear Thea pull a chair out and take a seat, her voice carrying as she said, "What the fuck is going on, Ollie?"

"It's none of your fucking business," he shot back, pushing his chair out. The sound of heavy footsteps on hardwood echoed through the house.

"Where are you going?" Thea yelled.

"Out!" Oliver shouted back at her as the door slammed shut behind him.

Felicity silently stepped into the master bedroom and closed the door as gently as she could. She made her way to the bed, slipping beneath the comforter only to be met with Oliver's scent as she laid her head against the pillow. Tears instantly sprung from her eyes as she grabbed it and threw it to the floor. Curling up into a little ball, she let them fall against the mattress as her shoulders shook with her silent sobs. For the first time in a really long time, Felicity cried herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I broke so many hearts with this chapter! A fix is on the way, as is some fluff to make the sting a little better. It's called "Snowed In" and I'm hoping to have it finished tonight after I do all my homework.


	13. Refusing to Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LAST CHAPTER! I swear, a fix is coming, in chapter 14. I gotta make Oliver suffer after what he's done. He deserves it, after all!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this one.

She dangled off the edge of a deep, black hole, her fingers slowly slipping from the ground above her. When a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist, she thought for a moment she was saved. It held her as she tried to claw her way up, but when she tilted her head to see who it was, a pair of cold blue eyes stared back at her. They watched her beg for help, beg for him to pull her up.

He didn't say a thing, just stared at her as she cried, "Oliver, please… Please help me!" Her fingers looked for purchase in the ground above her, but there was none. She continued to slip down, into the darkness, her eyes filling with tears as his cold fingers loosened their grip.

"Oliver!" she cried again.

But his eyes remained cold. Then he said, "I'm sorry," and let her go, screaming into the darkness as she fell.

Felicity awoke with a jolt, her breaths coming in short, gasping pants as tears filled her eyes. She rolled onto her side, curling up in a little ball as she cried. This nightmare proved that Oliver's words had cut her straight to the core. She could barely hold back her sobs as her body shook violently at the memory of what he'd said to her that evening.

Everything came rushing back so suddenly that her heart felt like it was going to break all over again. There was no amount of strength Felicity could muster to get over this kind of pain. It needed to run its course before she could even begin to heal. And that, she knew, was going to take a very long time.

Felicity cursed herself for falling in love with Oliver so quickly and wholeheartedly and thinking that he could love her back with the same intensity. But nothing, it seemed, could be further from the truth. He'd said it himself, his feelings for her didn't run deeper than friendship, so she'd been the fool in this endeavor. But why had he been so cold?

It was a question Felicity couldn't stop asking herself. She wished she could read his mind, see what he was thinking when he'd said those words, but she resigned herself to never knowing. All she could do was hope that Oliver would find some way out of this darkness and find happiness with someone, even if it wasn't her.

And that's what truly broke her heart. Felicity knew he would never be happy until his burdens had been eased. She'd hoped to be the one to lessen them, and for a moment, she had. For one night, she'd given Oliver peace. That night she would cherish forever because it had been the first night he'd ever truly and honestly opened up to her.

But it still hurt knowing she might never be able to help him again. That was why Felicity cried that night. Although her feelings had been hurt irrevocably, the pain of knowing Oliver thought himself unworthy of happiness killed her.

A soft hand on her shoulder startled Felicity into turning around. She found Thea standing above her, soft blue eyes filled with worry and concern. Dear god, she looked so much like her brother at that moment. It made Felicity's heart ache even more.

"Hey, it's okay," Thea whispered, taking a seat on the bed beside Felicity and gently rubbing her back. "Did you have another nightmare?"

All Felicity could do was nod. She curled herself even tighter, pressing her face into the mattress to muffle her sobs and hoping Thea would just leave her alone. She couldn't deal with all the things buzzing around in her mind right now. Being left alone to her thoughts seemed to be the only way she'd be able to sort through it.

But Thea didn't leave. Instead she said, "Oh, sweetie, I'm here if you need to talk to someone," then scooted up beside her.

This was the first time anyone aside from Oliver had ever offered her any form of comfort. She turned towards the younger Queen and stared at her for several minutes as Thea gave her a warm smile then took her hand and squeezed it. The flood of emotions that barreled through Felicity became overwhelming. This young woman, who she'd barely known for two days, had somehow become a pillar of strength she didn't realize she needed.

It set off a chain reaction from her brain to her mouth and suddenly Felicity began babbling and couldn't stop the words that flowed from her mouth. "How could Oliver be so cruel?" she cried. "He knows how much I care about him, how much he means to me, and yet he took my heart and crushed it. I don't understand what happened between today and yesterday. I can't figure out why he changed so suddenly. It was like a switch had been flipped. One minute he was this sweet, caring, wonderful guy that I thought for a moment had feelings for me based on what happened between us last night. But then he just became cold as ice."

"Ollie can be a dick sometimes," Thea replied as she smoothed back Felicity's messy blonde hair. "He's made a real mess of things in the past. Look what happened with Laurel. But now… I'm not so sure about him anymore. He does seem different; I just don't know how different he is."

"He's not the same Oliver you knew, Thea," Felicity said. "And even though I never knew him before the island, I read the tabloids, and that's not the Oliver I know. He's the complete opposite of that Oliver. That's why I keep thinking something's not right, because this isn't my Oliver. I mean, he has his mood swings, but this…? This was completely off the chart and out of character."

Thea raised an eyebrow at her. " _Your_  Oliver?" she questioned with a slight smirk.

Felicity shot her a glare and replied, "You're not helping."

"I'm sorry. Please continue."

"I just… I don't know what to think!" Felicity was on the verge of a breakdown the more she thought about what had happened. "I don't understand why he's pushing me away. All I've ever wanted for him was happiness, and for a beautiful moment, he had it… Does he think he doesn't deserve happiness after everything that's happened? Does he think he's not good enough for me? Is he trying to push me away because he thinks he'll hurt me? Well, news flash, you just fucking broke my heart, you stupid bastard!"

Felicity buried her face back into the mattress again trying to muffle her sobs, but Thea wrapped an arm around her, gently pulling her up from where she lay. She scooted even closer so that Felicity's head fell in her lap. "I'm sorry," Thea whispered, stroking back the mass of tangled curls atop her head.

They sat there for a long while, the silence only being broken when Felicity sniffled. Thea continued stroking her hair as she lay in her lap. It was calming, to say the least. Felicity let her mind wander for a moment, her thoughts focusing on how much she enjoyed Thea's company. In the short period they'd known each other, she'd suddenly become the closest female friend Felicity had ever had. Even her relationships in high school and college had nothing on what she felt towards Thea. It was strange yet incredibly comforting.

"So, you never told me exactly what happened between you and Ollie," Thea said, knocking Felicity out of her musings and bringing her back into the pain of the present.

For a long moment, she paused, gathering her thoughts and her courage. Felicity knew she needed to tell someone or the pain would fester in her heart until she broke down, but it was still so raw and the words still cut so deep. She took a shaky breath and replied, "He basically told me that… um… last night meant nothing to him… That I was just convenient and the only feelings he had for me were friendship."

As she gazed up through her tears, Felicity could see Thea's jaw drop as her eyes darkened in anger. "He said  ** _what_**?!" she nearly shouted. "That is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard! I saw the way he looked at you today. That's just… No… No, no, no…" Thea was scooting off the bed and shooting out the door before Felicity could stop her. "Oh, he is not getting away with this!" Thea muttered as she ran down the stairs.

Felicity hadn't anticipated this chain of events and was jumping off the bed as well, hoping to stop the fiery brunette before she did something that would jeopardize everything. But it looked like it was already too late when she heard Thea yell, "Oliver Queen! Get your sorry ass up right now!" Felicity was at the top of the stairs, her eyes widening when she saw the younger woman grab her brother by the ear and yank him up off the couch where he lay sleeping.

There was no doubt Oliver wasn't happy about this. Felicity could see the anger flaring in his eyes, but Thea had a good grip and didn't let go. She dragged him towards the stairs before he dug his heels into the hardwood floor. "What in fucking hell are you doing, Thea?" he shouted at her.

She stopped and spun around and Felicity could see the tension rolling off her shoulders. But it was what she did next that startled both her and Oliver. The resounding smack of Thea's palm against his cheek stunned them all into silence. He glared at her with such intensity even Felicity would have backed down. But Thea stood her ground, back stiff, shoulders squared, chin up. "You do not get to use that tone of voice with me tonight, do you understand?" she growled with such ferocity that even he was taken aback by it.

All Oliver did was stare at his sister as she glared at him, her piercing blue eyes swimming with anger. The startled expression on his face told Felicity he hadn't expected such a confrontation either. But he did straighten up a bit more, the rage in his eyes slightly dissipating as he waited for her to speak.

"What you did to Felicity tonight is unacceptable," Thea seethed. "I found her crying upstairs. Why? Because of what you said to her! I know you, Ollie. I saw the way you looked at her… the way you  _look_  at her. And I don't know what's going on in that thick head of yours, but you need to wake up because I know you! Maybe not as well as I once did, but I know you! You care about her, Ollie. So please, stop lying. Stop running from the best thing that's ever happened to you."

Even Felicity couldn't help the lump that formed in her throat at Thea's words. Her heart clenched when she saw Oliver's gaze fall on her. The emotions that were suddenly present in his eyes made her turn away, unable to watch him anymore. The look he'd given her was the same look of caring and concern she'd seen the night before. She couldn't handle that look right now so she went back to the bedroom and closed the door before curling up beneath the covers.

There was a knock at the door, but Felicity didn't respond. It slowly opened and she instantly knew who was behind her.

"Felicity?" Oliver's soft voice made her freeze. Her eyes slammed shut as a shuddering breath escaped her lungs. This was too much for her right now. She was still confused by what she'd just seen in his eyes a few moments ago.

"What do you want, Oliver?" The words sounded harsh even in her ears, but Felicity didn't care. She remained curled up where she lay, too afraid to turn around and look at him.

"We need to talk," he said. She felt the weight of his body dip the mattress as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Felicity scooted away as she replied, "I think you've said everything there is to say, Oliver. Just leave." She didn't want to deal with this right now. She couldn't deal with this right now. Her heart was still raw from where he'd ripped it from her chest. If he was just going to take it and slam it on the ground again, then she preferred to be prepared. Right now, she wasn't.

"No." Oliver's response surprised her into turning around to glare at him. It was the pained look on his face that made her breath catch in her throat. He, too, looked like he'd been to hell and back. His eyes were red and had deep circles beneath them and his all around haggard appearance told her this wasn't sitting well with him either.

"Stop it," Felicity pleaded, her voice shaking when she realized that even though her heart was in pieces because of him, she still wanted to reach out and fix the broken look on his face. Why did Oliver have such a strong hold on her? Why was she letting him continue to string her along only to toy with her emotions in such a spectacular fashion? Felicity had no answers to those questions.

"I hurt you." The words hovered in the air between them and the look he gave her, a look of pure self loathing and hatred, cause a lump to form in her throat. This was her Oliver, the one that cared deeply, the one that she knew would never hurt her the way he'd hurt her, but now the confusion had deepened. What was going on? Why was he doing this? How could he be so cold one moment then so warm the next?

Felicity wanted to speak, to say something, but she couldn't. Her words were stuck. She had no more. She'd already laid her heart on the line and he'd batted it away. The weight of his words suddenly made the room feel as if it was pressing in around her and she leapt from the bed.

She needed to step away for a moment, to gather her thoughts, so she headed to the windows that looked out over the darkened ocean lit only by the moon. Her hand strayed to the balcony door and after a moment of hesitation, she pushed it open. The chilled air felt good on Felicity's skin and she breathed deep letting the ocean breeze wash over her, almost able to feel the salt sinking into her wounds, both physical and emotional.

She didn't realize Oliver was behind her until he spoke again. "Felicity…"

"Don't say my name like that," she replied almost immediately, forcing back the way her body responded to the longing she heard in his voice. Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her hand into a tight fist trying to push back her own longing at that moment.

"Like what?" he asked softly.

Felicity's head whipped around to look at him, eyes blazing. "Like you care," she choked.

The punched-in-the-gut look that overwhelmed Oliver's features made her turn away before the tears leaked down her cheeks. Silence settled over them as Felicity willed him to leave. Just being in his presence was almost more than she could take, let alone all the things he was saying. Last night they were wrapped in each other's arms, ready to take on the world, and tonight – tonight, an entire ocean separated them.

"I do." The words were so quiet Felicity thought she'd dreamt them until he repeated himself, this time with more intention and her name. She shook her head, eyes tightly closed as she wrapped an arm around herself, the long hoodie keeping the chilled night air out to the best of its ability.

"No." Her voice shook with conviction. "You already made it perfectly clear that you don't… That this was comfort needed and given. You have feelings – platonic feelings. I heard you the first time, Oliver Queen."

"I lied."

Her head whipped to the side and she stared at him, eyes narrowing in scrutiny. "I've always been able to see through your bull shit, Oliver. There was none." Felicity's voice was low and cold as she spoke, just like his had been.

"I was scared." He looked lost and hurt, but she took no pity on him, not after the way he'd treated her.

Felicity laughed then, sobs mixing with the chuckles until she reached for the railing in support. "And I'm not? I put my heart on the line, Oliver. I laid it out there for you - knowing it would probably get hurt, but you didn't just hurt it, you  _crushed_  it! I've been scared out of my mind since the night of the quake and all I've been able to think about is you - helping you. I didn't even call my parents for days - they thought I was dead!"

"Will you listen to me?!" Oliver finally cried, his voice rising with desperation, and Felicity's tear-rimmed eyes focused on him.

"No!" she shouted. "No, I'm done listening tonight! I can't do it anymore tonight! Tomorrow, I'll put on my friend face. I'll listen to you, I'll help you, I'll go back to being Felicity Smoak - IT girl extraordinaire. But now, tonight… tonight, I get to be hurt. I can't..." Her words were cut off by the sobs that shook her body and she turned away from him again. But his hand reached out and grasped her arm.

"I'm so sorry," Oliver whispered. She could hear the crack in his voice but refused to acknowledge the way it sent daggers into her heart.

"Don't be," she spat. "I trusted you. My mistake, not yours."

She could see the way her words stung him when he flinched. "Felicity, please… listen," Oliver tried again, but she violently shoved him away.

"I told you I'm done!" Felicity yelled. "What part of that don't you understand?" Tears streamed down her cheeks as she glared at him. He stepped closer, his grasp on her arm tightening, but she meant what she'd said and now he was just overstepping his bounds. Before she knew it, her hand was flying through the air, and when it connected with his cheek, the smack echoed.

An immediate flood of regret flowed through Felicity when she saw the hurt and the pain flash through his eyes. But she knew if she caved at that moment, she'd regret it, regret that she'd let a man manipulate her into doing something she wasn't ready for. So she stood her ground, her eyes narrowing as she growled, "Oliver, get out." When he didn't budge, Felicity repeated herself, this time more strongly and with conviction.

Oliver's shoulders sagged as he gave her one final mournful look before he nodded and turned to go. When the door clicked shut behind him, Felicity slid to the floor and let her head fall against her knees. Her hand wrapped around her mouth, containing the sobs that suddenly erupted from her throat. As much as she didn't want to do this, she knew it was for the best. But it still killed her to watch Oliver walk away just as broken as he'd been the night of the earthquake.

Picking herself up off the floor, Felicity managed to crawl back into bed, her heart feeling shattered beyond repair. She was exhausted and emotionally spent, but sleep didn't come easy. Every hour or so she'd awaken with a jolt, either from the beginnings of a nightmare or just imagining the crushed look in Oliver's eyes as he walked away. When it became more than she could handle, Felicity made her way downstairs in search of the Vicodin, finding it on the counter where it had been for the last couple of days.

Dawn was just approaching. The sky faded from black to blue across the horizon as Felicity scanned the room. Oliver was nowhere to be found. He wasn't on the couch and his shoes were gone. She peeked out the window to find both her car and Thea's in the driveway, so he'd most likely left the house on foot. Throwing back one of the pills from the orange bottle with a glass of water, she took a seat at the table and thought about everything that had happened.

It felt like a 180 degree shift had been made. Felicity almost laughed at the irony. Just a few days ago it had been Oliver telling her to leave, and now she'd done the same. What she hadn't expected was the pain it caused her. It consumed her and hurt all the way down into her soul. She began to wonder if this was how he'd felt when he'd pushed her away, but knew instantly it was a stupid question.

Oliver Queen was a man who brought it upon himself to shoulder everyone else's pain in an attempt to atone for his family's sins. Even if her pain was just a fraction of his, it still felt like a hot knife slicing through her heart. But Felicity knew she needed to find the steady resolve she'd always had in order to push past it. She wasn't weak, and she wasn't about to let herself bend to his will. Just as she'd promised last night, today she would put on her friend mask and do everything in her power to focus on anything but her feelings. She just didn't realize how hard it would be.

As the sun rose above the mountains, Felicity found herself sprawled out on the couch. She had no idea when she'd fallen asleep at the table, but someone (and she knew exactly who) had picked her up and laid her out on the warm beige cushions, also tucking her beneath the green blanket. When she sat up and looked around, she found Thea in the kitchen. The scent of bacon and eggs frying hit her nose and instantly her stomach growled.

"Good morning, sunshine," Thea said with a weak smile when she looked up from the stove. "Or should I say good afternoon? It's almost twelve. How'd you sleep? Feeling better?"

"I'm okay," Felicity rasped as she pushed herself off the couch. And she was until she saw Oliver's shoes beside the front door and her thoughts returned to him. "Where's…"?"

"Grumpy cat?" Thea finished with a smirk. "He's upstairs showering. He offered to make breakfast, but he kinda smelled like canned tuna so I made him go wash off that stink before he got anywhere near the food." Felicity nodded. A long silence passed between them as she stood up and neatly folded the blanket before heading into the kitchen.

"I, um, heard you guys last night…" Thea's voice was hesitant as she cracked another egg into the pan and began to scramble it with some tomatoes and peppers.

A deep sigh escaped Felicity's lips. "We were that loud, huh?"

"I'm so sorry." There was sincerity in the younger Queen's voice as she stepped away from the stove and gave Felicity a hug. "I shouldn't have pushed it like I did. I never thought it would totally screw things up. I should have just stayed on the sidelines, but sometimes I can't help it. When my friends are in trouble, I'm the first one to stand up for them, and, well, you were hurting so…"

Felicity tightened her grip on the brunette. "Thank you," she whispered. "It might have been misguided, but… thank you. I've never really had a friend like you before."

"Well, I highly doubt you'll be getting rid of me anytime soon," Thea replied as she pulled away to check on the food.

"Somehow I'm alright with that." Felicity gave her a small smile until she sensed someone coming up behind her. Even Thea took notice and straightened her shoulders.

"Oliver." The younger woman's voice was curt as her face fell into a stoic mask. It sent a chill down Felicity's spine the way the two Queen siblings were able to go from expressive to impassive in a few seconds flat.

He was standing beside her then, his eyes staring straight out at his sister. "Thea," he replied just as shortly.

Felicity could hear the tension in his voice and could almost feel it run through her as he stood mere inches from where she was leaning against the table. She hazarded a sideways glance to find Oliver's gaze had fallen on her. All she saw was a flash of the pain from last night in this pale blue pools before it was quickly replaced by the unflappable mask he wore when he wanted no one to see what he was feeling.

It hurt to watch him shut down again, but Felicity couldn't let it affect her, so she too put on her own mask of indifference before turning towards him. "Good morning, Oliver," she said without a trace of the emotions that were hidden deep in the recesses of her mind.

"Good morning, Felicity," he replied, his voice cool and collected.

As if she could sense the tension quickly filling the room, Thea broke the uncomfortable silence that suddenly settled over the kitchen and said, "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Felicity, can you grab a few plates from the cabinet and set the table?"

"I'll do it," Oliver cut in. He brushed past Felicity, his hand slightly grazing hers as he stepped into the kitchen and began grabbing things out of cabinets. Her skin prickled at the contact as a wave of uncertain emotions flooded through her.

The confusion that had plagued her the night before had returned and had it not been for Thea asking her to put the food out on the table, Felicity probably would have lost herself to her thoughts again. Taking a single deep breath, she grabbed a plate filled with bacon and sausage with one hand and another piled high with toast in the other.

A few minutes later the three of them were seated at the table with Thea to her right and, surprisingly, Oliver to her left. Felicity tried not to show any outward signs of discomfort, but it was hard when they both reached for food at the same time and their hands crashed together trying to grab the same piece of toast. Felicity withdrew almost immediately, her hand shaking as it fell back into her lap. Her eyes fell to her plate where out of her periphery she saw him take a piece of bread and place it beside her eggs.

Felicity hadn't realized how hard it would be to keep up the charade. Her mask was slipping, breaking at the seams where it had been hastily glued on. These small little gestures that Oliver had made, from placing her on the couch and tucking her in to giving her a piece of toast made her question everything even more. Her heart could barely take it.

How did Oliver do it? How was he able to juggle so many things at once and still seem unbreakable? The truth was that he couldn't, Felicity realized. His only way of coping was to push away those that he cared about in order to save himself from all the pain, and that was exactly what he'd done to her. Only now she could see he was doing everything in his power to apologize for what he'd done. But she still wasn't ready to accept it. She needed time to figure out how to move on, how to get over someone she needed to work with on a daily basis.

Felicity made a decision that today she would take some time away from both Oliver and Thea to gather her thoughts and try to figure out what she wanted to do. A walk on the beach would suffice, so when they'd finished a breakfast wrought with silence and tension, she slipped upstairs, took a quick shower and changed into some faded jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Her shoulder had started to feel less achy so she decided to forego the sling.

With her cell phone left charging on the nightstand beside the bed, Felicity headed downstairs to put on her coat and slipped out the patio door, making sure to leave it unlocked before heading towards the sugar sand beach. She didn't want interruptions this afternoon, just some time alone to think things through. The waves crashing along the shore gave her a sense of peace she hadn't felt in a while. The farther away she walked from the house, the more her thoughts began to wander.

Felicity thought about her life and how it had changed the moment Oliver had walked into it with that bullet riddled laptop and the crappy lie she'd overlooked. There was something about the way he'd smiled at her that day that had made her want to help him. After seeing his face plastered across newspapers for the past month, she could already tell the smile he gave her had been completely different from the one he put on for everyone else. It was genuine and heartfelt and almost carefree and that's what had broken down her defenses.

All the subsequent times he'd come into her office before Felicity learned of his secret had gone similarly. Oliver would step in with a reason why he needed her help and an outrageous lie she saw right through before jumping head first into her information search. They'd created something special in those moments, something akin to friendship, which was why she'd gone to him after Walter had disappeared, hoping he could figure out why the notebook was so important. She had no idea that the following week he'd end up in her car, shot and bleeding out, trusting her just as she'd trusted him.

From that point on, Felicity had become his confidant and friend. The longer they worked together, the more she invested she became in his wellbeing. She'd done everything in her power to make sure he came back safe from his missions and had even been there on the rare occasion when he needed to say just a little something that was on his mind before closing the door on his feelings. Her heart ached for Oliver, ached for the pain he put himself through, for all the burdens he carried. She wanted to help him shoulder some of those burdens, which was why she'd stuck around even after they'd found Walter.

But now Felicity was beginning to realize just how truly damaged Oliver Queen was. And it didn't mean a thing to her. Although she hated to admit it, her heart belonged to him and there was nothing in this world that would ever change that. Yes, he'd hurt her far worse than she could have imagined, but she began to wonder if this was because he was afraid of getting hurt himself. Felicity could only hope. In due time, she'd find out. For now, though, it was better to lock up her heart and throw away the key until they were both ready to talk it out like civilized adults.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry for the last one, but once I finish 14, I will post it because I know everyone wants this fixed. And I WILL FIX IT!
> 
> And as always, please feed the muse! She THRIVES off reviews, something she hasn't been getting enough of lately so she's been lacking in motivation to write because of that.
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful feedback. I really do appreciate it!


	14. A Promise and a Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was quick, wasn't it? Haha! I think y'all are gonna LOVE this chapter!
> 
> A HUGE thank you to anthfan and hopedreamlovepray for helping me beta this chapter and providing me with ideas on how to make it so much better.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to hopedreamlovepray because I put her through hell and then some, so I'm hoping this fixed her poor heart after I smashed it to pieces several times in a row.
> 
> Please note, this chapter is rated M because, well, I couldn't help myself. That and I figured you guys deserved some sexy smut because I haven't been able to focus on a fantasy at ALL. So sorry about that! Hopefully now that she's back in full swing, I can finish the next one.

Her walk took her all the way down to a pier where a single boat was docked at the end. There were no other homes within her line of sight making Felicity wonder who the little dingy belonged to. It really didn't matter though. It was just nice to think about something aside from Oliver as she sat down on the edge of the wooden planks, letting her legs dangle just above the water as the tide rolled in.

She began to wonder how she'd reply to all her messages from work friends and relatives. After all, Felicity Smoak was the IT girl. Being without a phone for the last few days was completely out of character for her. But it allowed her to avoid thinking about the tragedy she'd witnessed firsthand. Just letting the thought to pop back into her mind made her shiver. Quickly pushing it back into the shadows where it belonged, she stood up. It was getting late and the sun was hanging low over the ocean.

As Felicity made her way back towards the house, another thought popped into her head. She hadn't checked in with Diggle since they'd arrived in Astoria to see how he was doing. In the past few days, she pondered why she didn't just call him to let him know how things were going. Then again, with what had happened, her mind had otherwise been preoccupied with all things Oliver instead. She resolved to call him as soon as she got back to the house.

Twilight was just approached when Felicity finally reached the back patio and slipped through the door into the warmth of the house. The temperature had dropped significantly since the sun dipped into the ocean and she was glad to be surrounded by heat again. She shook her boots out on the wooden deck before stepping inside to find Thea nearly jumping off the couch to greet her.

"I was wondering where you got off to," she said, taking the boots and placing them by the front door. "Oliver's been a crazy mess since he found your phone upstairs instead of you. He's searched the entire house at least twice and was about to take your car to go look for you when I told him to stop and leave you alone. I figured you needed some time to think."

"I did," Felicity replied just before hearing the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. She glanced to her right and found Oliver standing on the landing, his eyes wide and almost wild as he gazed at her. Relief suddenly rushed through them as he let out a sigh and his tense shoulders slumped forward.

For a moment they just stared at each other. Oliver appeared even more tired and haggard than he had been the night before, the dark circles now prominent beneath his eyes. But Felicity saw genuine relief cross those pale blue pools. He really had been worried about her. It was at that moment she knew she needed to talk to him about what had happened. She was ready; her heart was ready.

"See what I mean," Thea softly piped in with a half grin.

Felicity nodded, "Yeah."

"So, where did you go?" Thea asked, looping an arm around hers to lead her into the kitchen where there was a box of food from the diner on the counter.

"Down to the pier." Felicity grabbed a plate from the cabinet along with a fork and a knife before opening the box to reveal a fried chicken dinner complete with mashed potatoes, gravy and coleslaw. "So I'm guessing you picked up dinner?"

"Actually, no. Liv dropped it off on her way home from the diner," Thea answered. She leaned in close and added, "I think she just wanted to see Oliver." It put a smile on Felicity's face, knowing he had someone else who cared about him since his mother was currently in prison for her role in the Undertaking. "So, you feeling better? Because I know this morning was… weird," Thea continued, sliding into a chair beside her.

"Much," Felicity replied as she grabbed a chicken leg and took a bite. It was still warm and she couldn't help the tiny moan that escaped her throat from its delicious flavor.

"That's good." Thea didn't press the subject. Instead, she changed it to something else completely and through the rest of dinner, they sat together and talked about anything but Oliver even though Felicity could still feel his presence. He'd taken a seat on the couch in the living room and chose to ignore their conversation even though his eyes remained intently on her.

When Felicity had finished eating, she told Thea she was headed upstairs to change. Her clothes still smelled of ocean salt and she wanted a shower to gather up her courage before she tried to talk to Oliver again. There was also the phone call to Diggle she needed to make, which she did first upon entering the bedroom.

"Hey Dig," she said when the call connected.

"Felicity, it's so good to hear your voice," he replied and relief shot through her. She hadn't realized she'd been worried about him until that moment.

"You too," Felicity said, taking a seat on the bed. She tried to keep the conversation mostly focused on him, asking general questions about how he was doing, how Carly and AJ were doing, what was going on in the city… Diggle obliged her even though she sensed he knew she was avoiding talking about herself as much as possible. He'd throw in a few of his own questions, like what the weather was like in Astoria and when she'd gotten her new phone.

But they couldn't dance around the subject for much longer. Finally, he asked, "How are you doing? How's Oliver?"

"We're… okay." Felicity knew the slight hesitation in her voice was enough to tell him it was actually the opposite.

"Felicity, that doesn't sound like okay to me. Tell me what happened." Diggle sounded every bit like her father at that moment and a memory of the first time a boy had broken her heart in high school popped into her head. She'd come home sulking and her father had used that same tone of voice in order to get her to talk about it.

She was hesitant at first, knowing what might happen if she told Diggle everything. But Felicity couldn't keep anymore secrets, especially not from him because truthfully, nothing was okay and she was still wondering how to get Oliver to open up to her about what happened.

The silence must have lasted far too long because Diggle's voice startled her out of her musings. "Felicity, what happened between you and Oliver? And don't tell me it was nothing because I know how you feel about him."

Of course he knew. Diggle was like a mystic in that sense. He saw all and knew all, at least from Felicity's perspective. But it still made her uncomfortable talking about the most private aspect of her life. She really didn't want to tell him what they'd done fearing the unavoidable lecture that would follow. "A lot…" Felicity began. "Oliver and I… We…" No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to actually say it.

His deep sigh told her Diggle had already figured it out. "Damn it, Felicity! This is not the time or the place. You're going to get your heart broken because he's so far from being okay…" She expected the scolding, but it still stung to hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Too late," Felicity whispered, her voice cracking.

She heard Diggle take another long, deep sigh. "Do you need me to come up there?" His voice told her that if she said yes, he would be there in a heartbeat.

"No, we just need to talk," Felicity answered.

"Yes, you do because I don't have time to play relationship counselor to you two! The city is a disaster area. I'm here and you're there and I feel helpless. So fix this. Because this city is going to need all of us."

"I know, Dig… I know…" She didn't have the heart to fight him on that. When the three of them did finally return to Starling City, Felicity knew she and Oliver needed to be a united front because who knew what awaited them.

"Look, Felicity, I worry about you. You've never had to deal with anything of this nature before. I just want to make sure you'll be okay."

"I am. I will be," Felicity reassured him to the best of her ability at that moment.

"But, so help me god, if Oliver did hurt you, don't think I won't come up there and knock him around a little… maybe even put him on his ass."

Felicity snorted at the image it conjured up and the tension she'd felt earlier immediately dissipated. She'd seen enough training session between the two of them to know it probably wouldn't happen, but it was comforting to know Diggle was there for her as well. "I can handle him," she said.

"Alright, but the offer still stands," he said. "If you need anything, let me know and I'll be there as soon as I can."

Felicity was thoughtful for a moment before she answered, "There is something you can do for me."

"What's that?"

"Thea's been worried about Roy for the last couple of days. I know cell phone reception in the Glades is shot to hell, so is there any chance you can check up on him and make sure he's okay? If not, that's fine too, but it would really help her out because she hasn't been able to stop looking at her phone since he called her the other day."

Her request came out in a rush and she couldn't stop herself from rambling until Diggle replied, "You got it. I'll text you when I have eyes on him."

"Thanks, Dig."

"You guys stay safe, okay? And let me know if you need me to come and rough up Oliver for you."

Again, Felicity snorted, "I will. You be safe too and don't hesitate to call me. There really isn't much to do around here, especially when Oliver's got his Grumpy Cat on."

"Grumpy Cat?"

"Blame Thea. She started it. Although I think I like Butter Buns better."

"What?"

Felicity giggled. Although she'd promised Oliver she wouldn't tell Diggle about that, she knew sooner or later it would slip out anyway. "You should ask him how he got that nickname the next time you talk to him," she hinted.

"Oh, I will!"

"Alright, Dig. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

The feeling of relief rushed through Felicity when she hung up. Everything was going to be okay. Diggle was doing well, and even though he'd chewed her out for what she'd done with Oliver, knowing he was still on her side was comforting. It gave her the confidence she needed to tackle their problems head on and work through whatever it was that nearly tore things apart.

After setting the phone back on the nightstand, Felicity picked up the shorts and hoodie from the previous night along with a new pair of panties from the closet then headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. Her hair was put up in a tight ponytail when she finished and some form of normalcy had returned to her life even though her shoulder still hurt when she moved it a certain way.

Now that her body was healing, Felicity knew she needed to start healing her heart and mind, and the only way she could do that was to talk to Oliver first. The weight of all the things they'd said the night before in the heat of their argument still lay heavy on her shoulder. She needed to get a few things off her chest before she allowed him to apologize.

With steady resolve, Felicity made her way downstairs. Upon entering the living room, she found Oliver sitting alone on the couch, his gaze falling on the ocean beyond the windows. "Hey," she said softly hoping not to startle him. He was up off the couch almost immediately when he heard her voice.

"Hey," Oliver replied, his hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. He wore something similar to the previous day, only this time his sweater was a rich chocolate brown color and his jeans were a little more faded. The slightly timid look he gave her made this far easier than she'd expected.

"I… I wanna talk about what happened," Felicity began. Her hands fell into the pockets of the hoodie as well, but she kept her head held high and her eyes focused on him.

It was at that moment Thea appeared from the door she assumed led into the garage. Her eyes cut to Felicity standing at the foot of the stairs. She was about to say something until Felicity held up her hand to stop her. They shared a quick look and a nod before Felicity turned to Oliver and asked, "Can we go upstairs?"

"Yeah, of course," he answered.

She didn't wait for him and headed up the steps back into the master bedroom. The room felt a little stuffy so Felicity crossed to the balcony door and opened it just as Oliver stepped in, shutting the other door behind him. Several long, silent moments passed between them as he leaned up against the wall while she remained standing, the cool wind licking at her bare legs.

"I was worried about you," Oliver broke the silence first as he watched her look out over the moonlit ocean.

"I know," Felicity sighed. "Thea told me."

"I honestly thought you'd left." It was nearly a whisper, the pain permeating his words just as much as his eyes when he looked at her.

"That's how I felt when you ran," she replied, her eyes dropping to the oversized sleeves that fell past her fingers as she fidgeted with the edges.

"I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way," Oliver said, his voice thick with emotions he struggled to keep hold of.

"I always worry about you," Felicity quietly admitted, afraid to look up because she knew if she did, her resolve would fade the moment their eyes met and he realized she was struggling with her emotions as well. Silence fell between them once more as she gathered the courage to say what she'd wanted to say all day. Her mind whirred and buzzed with a jumble of words she couldn't seem to put together in any coherent fashion. Maybe she wasn't ready for this like she thought she was.

"Felicity…" Oliver's shaky voice broke the spell.

Her eyes flicked up, meeting his, and instantly, the words came spilling out of Felicity's mouth in a rush. "I've been worrying about you ever since last night. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said then versus what you said the night before. How could you care about me one moment and then not care the next? Do you really feel that way? Am I only your friend? Or are you trying to keep me at an arm's length because you're afraid to hurt me? I need to know, Oliver. I don't know how much more of this roller coaster I can take anymore. I just…"

She sighed and her hand came to rest against her forehead trying to rub away the headache that had suddenly begun to form. Closing her eyes, Felicity let out a shaky breath. She was on the very edge of her sanity now, and she couldn't wait any longer. She needed to know.

"Why did you do it, Oliver?" she continued, her eyes pleading with him. "What happened last night? And please… be honest with me. I can't deal with anymore lies right now."

"Felicity... I... I fucked up." His voice cracked as he said the words and she could see it in his eyes, he was telling the truth. Her heart jumped into her throat as Oliver continued. "You were right. I let my fears get the best of me again. I let those worries seep into my head and I pushed you away. And I've never felt pain like that... never." The conviction in his voice was strong as he crossed the room to stand in front of her. His hands cupped her face, holding Felicity as if to make sure she wasn't going to leave again.

Oliver sighed as he pressed his forehead to hers and their eyes locked. The lump in her throat grew exponentially when she saw the indelible pain and regret running through those pale blue pools. "Even when I was on the island," he kept going, "it was all just physical stuff I could block out while they carved into me. But watching you now, I feel like my heart is being torn from my chest. It's similar to how I felt when I watched Tommy die... and I... I can't do that again. I can't lose another person I care about... I can't."

There was a pause and Oliver took a deep breath. She could see trepidation building in his eyes and began to wonder if what he was about to tell her would further crush her heart or begin to bring the pieces back together. She swallowed and waited. In a whisper, he said, "Felicity, I think I love you. And that scares me more than anything. Everyone I've ever loved with the exception of Thea has either betrayed me or died. I can't... I can't lose you too."

Felicity gasped, stunned as she took in the tears that suddenly streamed down his face. "I fucked up. Felicity… Please…" Oliver begged, his shoulders sagging with the weight of his admission.

"Yeah, you did…" she whispered and watched as his face fell. Felicity stepped into his arms before she knew it, pressing her lips to his. It was chaste and quick, but he inhaled sharply and couldn't hide how his body reacted to her. Oliver's hands fell to her hips, trying to pull her towards him just as she was backing away.

Her eyes glanced up into his, searching for the truth – searching for confirmation. "You think you love me?" Felicity whispered, unable to speak any louder for fear of her emotions overwhelming her voice. Her hand came up to stroke his cheek and his eyes fell shut. Oliver turned his head, his lips pressing into her palm, and her heart fluttered.

"That word doesn't seem strong enough, honestly," he replied, his fingers flexing against her hip. When Oliver opened his eyes, she was struck by the weight of the emotions running through them. Her breath caught as he added, "I need you, Felicity. I need you like I've never needed someone or something in my life."

His words flipped something deep inside her and suddenly she was in his arms again, her lips against his. He lifted her easily, a desperate growl torn from his throat as he pressed her against the door frame.

"Say it again. Say you mean it. Promise me you mean it," Felicity urgently murmured against his lips. And he did as she asked, pouring his heart out to her as he kissed her, his lips roaming from her mouth down her neck. Her hoodie was removed within seconds and she shivered as the night air hit her skin, but it was a delicious contrast to his heat.

"I need you. Always… Next to me… With me… I need you, Felicity Smoak. I promise. No more lies. No more running. Just you and me and us and this…" Oliver's words were punctuated with nips and flicks of his tongue and she tilted her head back, feeling the words rush over and through her. They were as much of a vow as she needed in that moment.

Her hands fisted in his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. His lips left hers for milliseconds before they returned to her skin, roaming against the sensitive flesh of her breasts. His hands trailed over her stomach, his body pinning her to the door frame as she arched into his touch.

"Just you and me and us," Felicity reiterated as she grabbed one of his hands and pulled it between them, placing it on her bare breast so he could feel the rapid beat of her heart beneath. His eyes locked onto hers and she leaned forward, words ghosting over his mouth as she gazed up at him. "It's yours. Always. Please… I'm trusting you with it. All of it."

She felt him break then, the shudder that passed through his body, the tears that made their way down his cheeks – the ones she kissed away with her lips. His head fell to her shoulder and he pressed his mouth just over her heart. "I promise," Oliver whispered.

And then his hands were moving again, roving all over her body as if he was afraid she would disappear. Felicity moaned into his mouth, splaying fingers against the planes of his shoulders. Heat coiled low within her as she felt the promise between them, the healing created by their words and actions. With each flick of his tongue and every sweep of his lips, the pieces were being put back together, stronger than they ever were before.

Oliver's hands dipped lower, his fingers sinking into her thighs as he pressed her harder against the door frame. They slipped beneath the elastic waistband of her shorts and underwear, tugging them off in one fell swoop. Felicity found herself once again naked before him. Her heart hammered in her chest, beating wildly as his lips trailed downward. It wasn't long before he was kneeling, hot breaths falling over the junction of her thighs.

Before he leaned forward, his eyes gazed up seeking permission. Felicity smiled down at him softly, her fingers ghosting over his temple as she nodded. When his lips made contact with the skin just below her navel, she gasped, her eyes falling closed as her head rolled back against the door frame. Oliver's kisses fell lower until he was at her apex. He gently nudged her legs open until his arm could slide beneath her left knee and lift it to his shoulder.

Her cry echoed through the night air as his tongue darted out and tasted her for the first time. The shudder that ran through her body at the contact nearly made Felicity lose her balance, but his other arm came up, fingers threading with hers making sure she didn't fall. Oliver pressed open mouth kisses all along her inner thighs and her grip on his hand tightened. Waves of pleasure rolled through her as his lips traveled down to her knee before climbing back up to taste her again.

"Oliver…" she moaned, her eyes slamming shut when his tongue slipped between her slick folds and found her clit. He rolled it around the sensitive little nub over and over as his name spilled from her lips. Felicity knew he was trying to make up for… everything. And this was most definitely helping. Her hips bucked as he tongue delved lower, pushing deep into her heat until she cried out in ecstasy.

As he moved back up to her clit, his fingers replaced his tongue, curling lazily against her walls until they found the spot that nearly sent her body into convulsions the second he touched it. "Hold on, baby. I'm not done yet," Oliver murmured against her skin and she shuddered when his gaze met hers. It held so much promise that Felicity gasped and squeezed his hand tighter.

For several long, beautiful minutes, his lips and tongue traced circles between her legs, sliding up and down her slick folds as his fingers stroked her to the very edge. Felicity knew she was close. It wouldn't take much to push her into oblivion. But Oliver slowed his strokes, prolonging her pleasure as she panted and raked her nails through his hair. "Please," she begged, her eyes falling to his.

"As you wish," he whispered, his breath sweeping across her skin as fingers began to move faster. They curled deeper and pressed harder, bringing Felicity back to the edge in moments before his lips sucked her clit into his mouth. Oliver lashed it with his tongue and her body went rigid. Muscles twitched in a symphony of pleasure as his name was torn from her lips once more. His fingers slowed and stilled until she finally came down from her high.

Oliver kissed his way back up to her lips, taking his time and stopping first at her navel then her breasts and finally the hollow of her neck. She moaned when his teeth nipped the sensitive flesh along her jaw and sighed as his mouth found hers again. Her leg dangled from the crook of his elbow as his jean clad hips pressed into her. Even through the rough denim Felicity could feel the hardness of his cock rubbing up against her. It was far more than she could take.

"These," she growled between kisses, her hands falling to the button of his jeans and quickly undoing it, "need to come off." Felicity's hands slipped into the waistband, tugging it down over his hips until his pants and boxers pooled at his feet. They were soon kicked to the side as her fingers traced along the hard lines of his abdomen until they stilled at the base of his cock. The low, almost feral growl that rumbled in Oliver's chest made her shiver as she continued to press kisses to his lips while her hands wrapped around his shaft and began to stroke.

"Felicity…" It was his turn to moan as he bit her bottom lip, his hips rocking in time with her hands. There was only so much Oliver could take before he grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. One hand secured them there as the other looped beneath her leg, bringing it to rest against his hip. He teased her with the tip of his cock, sliding it against her slick folds until her hips arched forward, begging for more.

And then he thrust home. Felicity's body arched forward, the heel of her foot digging into his back as her head rolled forward to the crook of his neck. Sinking her teeth into the soft flesh of his collarbone kept her from screaming out. She shuddered as Oliver pulled away before thrusting back into her hot, wet core. The third time he did it she wrapped her other leg around his waist and was immediately rewarded with a groan.

This new position angled her hips slightly lower than they'd been. The effect had been almost immediate. With each thrust, the pleasure increased tenfold. Not only was his cock hitting her in just the right spot each time, the way it brushed against her clit added a second burst of bliss each time their hips met. As much as she wanted to stay in this position for longer than a few minutes, the sensory overload was too much for her body to handle. She came harder this time, her muscles seizing as a tremor ran from her toes to the top of her head.

Oliver released his grip on her hands and she brought them around his neck, holding onto him for dear life until her body finally relaxed. Before she knew it, Felicity was being pulled from the door frame and carried towards the bed, his cock still buried deep within her. He laid her out on the cool sheets, never breaking contact.

There was only a slight readjustment in their position. He pushed her legs up until her knees were nearly flush with her chest and her ankles rested against his shoulders. Felicity thanked her lucky stars that she'd been doing yoga since high school and was able to bend and flex so easily because the moment Oliver began to move, her eyes fluttered shut from the intensity of the pleasure that flowed through her.

His hands came up to cradle her face as she opened her eyes to find him staring down at her. A shudder ran through her body. Those pale blue pools were nearly black and so powerfully focused on her that her breath became caught in her throat. Felicity saw every emotion he'd struggled to express reflected back at her and her heart fluttered wildly in her chest. There was pain and regret, but also relief and… love; love so strong and deep it overwhelmed her.

Oliver leaned forward to capture her lips and she moaned against them, her nails raking down his back as his tongue delved into her mouth to explore. Their hips continued to sway, slow and gentle, as one of his hands roamed down her body, settling on her breast to knead it in time with his strokes. She arched into his palm, desperate to feel his calloused fingers pinching and rolling her nipple until it was achingly hard.

An incoherent stream of sounds flowed from her lips as his kisses traveled away from her mouth. They found their way to her ear, nipping and sucking on the lobe before he whispered, "I love you." This was the second time Oliver had said it. The reaction it triggered sent her head swimming as she slammed her eyes shut and reveled in the words. She pulled his lips back to hers, kissing him fervently as her fingers sank into his hair. But a tiny voice in the back of Felicity's mind told her to be cautious. He'd broken her heart once already and even though he'd made up for it spectacularly with two incredibly intense orgasms and the most heartfelt apology she'd ever heard, he still had to prove himself worthy.

"I know," Felicity whispered back when their lips parted, her gaze locking with his once more. It earned her a sweet smile from the man above her as he brushed his fingers over her cheek.

"I love you so much." Watching his eyes as he said it, she knew Oliver told the truth. Her heart leapt into her throat and she pulled him in for another kiss, this time refusing to break it as her hands threaded through his hair.

Their bodies continued to sway, her back arching up the closer she got to her orgasm. He increased the pace, placing his hands at her hips and holding her to him as he rocked her harder. It wasn't long before Felicity felt the familiar twitch of her muscles. Just a few more powerful thrusts from Oliver's hips and she was sent over the edge yet again, crying out his name as her fingers dug crescents into his back.

But he didn't stop. Instead, Oliver rolled over so she lay sprawled across his chest. Felicity began to wonder how he still had the stamina to keep going, but she didn't have much time to reflect on it. The frenzied thrusts of his hips told her he was close. He sat up, hooking her legs around his back, and began thrusting into her hard and fast.

Their fevered breaths filled the room as Oliver relentlessly pounded into her. Muscles began to clench around his throbbing cock as he thrust it with increasing vigor between her hot, sweet walls. Pressure coiled deep in her core, tighter and tighter, until Felicity could barely stand it anymore.

"Come with me," Oliver whispered as his teeth scraped down her throat, coming to rest at her collarbone. Felicity tipped her head back, her hips lurching forward as she cried out in bliss, surrendering to the intense explosion between her legs for the fourth time that night. Her muscles pulsed hard and fast around her lover's cock and she melted into his arms.

This had been the most intense orgasm of the night, sapping Felicity of her energy. As Oliver fell back against the bed, she followed suit. Her head came to rest beneath his chin while she tucked her arms into his sides.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair before kissing her temple. Felicity smiled and sighed. She pressed her lips to the scar just above his heart then closed her eyes. Sleep came easily that night and her nightmares were blissfully silent again.

When Felicity awoke the next morning, her back was pressed to Oliver's chest. Sometime during the night they had switched positions and were now covered with the blanket. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist with the other pillowed beneath her head. His lips pressed soft kisses to her shoulder and when she sighed, they trailed up her neck until they reached the shell of her ear. She shuddered when he gently nibbled on her earlobe and whispered, "Good morning."

Craning her neck, her lips sought his for a kiss before she replied, "Good morning."

"I love you." The words were soft and sweet and made her heart quiver in her chest. Her only response was another soft kiss pressed to his lips as she turned to face him. His hand slid down her back until it cupped her bottom, pulling her close while the other splayed out between her shoulder blades.

"I hope Thea doesn't interrupt us again," Felicity mused as he trailed kisses down her neck until he was nipping at her collarbone.

"Don't jinx it," Oliver murmured against her skin.

But it wasn't Thea who interrupted them, it was Felicity's phone buzzing with a text message. They both groaned as she began to reach over, but he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. "Later," Oliver whispered between her fingers as he kissed each digit.

"What if it's important?" she whined. "Last night I asked Dig to check on Roy. Maybe he's found him?"

Oliver nearly growled but let her hand go. "I swear, my sister has you wrapped around her finger," he muttered before rolling onto his back beside her.

Giving him her best withering glare, Felicity grabbed the phone and opened the text. It was from Diggle, but what she read made her face drop and her heart nearly stop. Oliver sat up and took notice as she glanced between him and her phone. "What is it?" he asked, his own features darkening.

"'We've got a problem. Roy's in trouble. Come back quick,'" Felicity read. Her eyes locked with Oliver's. She could see fear and trepidation swirling in those pale blue pools, reflecting what she felt as well.

He was about to say something when the door flew open and Thea ran into the room bawling. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook, her cell phone grasped tightly in her hand. "Something's happened," she cried. With unsteady fingers, she pulled up her voicemail and put it on speaker.

The voice on the other end was strained, but they could all clearly make out Roy's voice. There was a definite note of fear and panic as he spoke. "Thea… I need… I'm… in trouble… Stuck… building collapsed… Trying to help… Thea… Help me…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffie! But it kinda needed to happen. And, yes, we FINALLY get to find out what happened to Roy.
> 
> And as always, please feed the muse! She THRIVES off reviews, something she hasn't been getting enough of lately so she's been lacking in motivation to write because of that.
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful feedback. I really do appreciate it!


	15. Homecoming

"Come here," Felicity said as she motioned the younger Queen towards the bed while tightening the covers over her chest. Thea crawled into her arms and as Felicity gently stroked her hair, she exchanged a look with Oliver. Having Thea's attention otherwise occupied, he was up and out of bed within seconds, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on. He gathered up the hoodie and shorts Felicity had been wearing the night before and placed them on the bed beside her then gently tapped Thea on the shoulder.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," Oliver said as she turned to find him behind her, his arms ready to pull her into a hug. After she'd been tucked into her brother's chest, Felicity hastily got dressed. There was no need to put Thea through anymore trauma. The first time she'd caught them had been bad enough. Felicity really didn't need the added embarrassment either.

"I'm so scared," Thea cried. "What if he's hurt? What if he's unconscious? What if…?"

Oliver's hands were cradling her face, forcing her to look up at him as he said, "We'll find him. Everything will be okay."

Their interaction reminded Felicity of the night she'd first met Thea and all the calm reassurance he'd given her then. Oliver might not have liked Roy, but he loved his sister, something Felicity could see very clearly at this moment. He'd put aside his anger towards the young man in order to keep her from falling apart. Wrapping his arms around her again, he pulled her into his chest and repeated his words before kissing the top of her head.

"I'm gonna see what I can do from here," Felicity said, squeezing the brunette's arm in reassurance. She rushed downstairs and grabbed her tablet before heading back to the master bedroom.

Thea and Oliver were sitting on the edge of the bed when she returned, her head resting against his shoulder as she clutched a tissue and sniffled. Felicity climbed in and settled herself against the headboard before logging into the tablet.

"Alright, let's see what we can find," she said, pulling up all the programs she'd used to track Roy the first time. Since his number was already programmed in, Felicity quickly began to trace his cell phone from the location she'd first found him the previous night. There wasn't much data to go on, though. The cell tower that had provided her information the first time had gone offline hours after she'd hacked into it. The other two cell towers she'd used to triangulate his position were too far out of range for the job so she looked for another tower, but there wasn't one.

For the next hour, Felicity used every resource she could think of to find Roy's whereabouts, but nothing seemed to work. By now, Thea had curled up at her side and was resting her head against the pillow as Felicity tapped on the screen while Oliver remained pressed against his sister's back, holding her close in an effort to comfort her. Felicity grew increasingly frustrated as every single thing she tried resulted in nothing. She let out an angry growl when her last ditch effort ended in failure.

Oliver gazed at her, concern present in his eyes as he sat up. "Did you find anything?" he asked although the look he gave her told Felicity he already knew the answer. He was just doing it for his sister's sake.

"No," Felicity sighed as she shook her head and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. Beside her, Thea let out a strangled sob as she buried her face in the pillow. Felicity placed a hand over the younger woman's shoulder in an effort to calm and comfort her then added, "That doesn't mean we won't find him. It just means it might take a little while longer."

Turning to Oliver, Felicity said, "I'm gonna call Dig and see if he can help us out." He nodded to her, wrapping her arms around his sister a little tighter as Felicity crawled out of bed and grabbed her cell phone.

She headed downstairs to make the phone call. There were certain things she needed to discuss with Diggle that involved information Thea didn't need to know. Speed dialing his number, Felicity waited a few moments before he picked up and launched herself right into rambling.

"I got your text earlier, but Thea burst into the room before I could call you back. Roy called her and left a voicemail. The message was broken up pretty bad, but from what we could hear, it sounds like he's been involved in some kind of building collapse. I think he might be trapped," Felicity said.

"Yeah, I figured as much," Diggle replied. "I tracked him for as long as I could, but he disappeared on me. That boy is pretty quick on his feet… Oliver quick…"

Felicity chewed her bottom lip. "Where did you lose him?" she asked, hoping the location would provide her with some clues to go on.

"On Fifth and Langston. I'm pretty sure he hopped a fence. He might have spotted me."

She cursed under her breath. "I'll see if I can track him from there. That's on the opposite side of the Glades from his apartment," Felicity said. "But if I don't succeed, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"What's that?"

There was a long pause as Felicity gathered her thoughts. The suggestion she was about to make had her stomach pitching and rolling before it even came out of her mouth. "I have a pretty good feeling we'll probably end up heading back home today, so I need you to go to Verdant and grab as much rescue gear as you can along with the external hard drives," she said. "I mean, that's if you're okay with that because if you're not, then don't worry about it. We'll figure something out when we get there…"

"Felicity," Diggle cut her off before she kept going on her tangent. "It's fine. Where are the hard drives?"

She took a deep breath and when her nerves had calmed down somewhat, she answered, "They're in the safe under my desk."

"Okay," he replied. "But why do you need them?"

"They have some programs that I've used in the past to track a few of Oliver's targets. I think they might be useful for tracking Roy now."

"Alright, no problem," Diggle said. "Keep me posted on your ETA and I'll meet you with the equipment."

"Of course," Felicity said, and with that, they hung up. She headed back to the master bedroom to find Oliver and Thea the way she'd left them. Without saying a word, Felicity climbed into bed and logged onto her tablet once more. Using the information Diggle had provided, she started her searchagain, and this time managed to get a hit from a cell tower near the area Roy was last spotted within minutes.

"This looks promising," Felicity said with a slight smile. Thea's head rose off the pillow as she glanced at the table.

"Did you find him?" There was so much hope in the younger woman's voice that Felicity didn't want to let her down.

"I got a hit off another cell tower about two miles south of his apartment from around the time he called you," she answered.

"What does that mean?"

"His call came from somewhere near Sixth and Bradley." Felicity pulled up another window and began to search for any reports involving a building collapse near that area. When the results popped up, her heart nearly sank. She swallowed hard and turned her tablet towards Thea and Oliver. Instead of talking, she pressed play on the video currently pulled up on the screen.

"Over a dozen people escaped the collapse but it's unknown whether there are others still inside the building. Search and rescue crews haven't heard any other voices and have called off their efforts until tomorrow when better weather is forecast to move in. The current rainstorm continues to wreak havoc on the city…"

"Oh, god!" Thea sobbed, burying her face in the pillow as Oliver's arms tightened around her. His gaze fell on Felicity and almost immediately she knew what was going through his head.

"What do you think we should do?" she asked out loud even as her hands began to tremble. They tightened their grasp on the tablet to keep Oliver from noticing, but he'd already seen it. He reached out and placed a hand on her wrist, squeezing it softly in support.

"I think it's time we headed home," he answered.

Felicity sighed and nodded. Home; it was a four letter word that no longer held the same meaning it used to. Home had been Starling City and her apartment and the lair. But now home was none of those things. It was no longer a place either. No, home was Oliver's arms wrapped around her, holding her tight as she listened to the strong beat of his heart.  _He_  was home.

"Okay, I'll start packing," Felicity said. From that point on, everything happened in a rush. Food was packed into plastic sacks, clean clothes were left in their original bags, and dirty clothes were shoved into trash bags. It was Oliver who hauled everything out to Felicity's car, neatly filling the trunk until it could hold no more.

But one thing had been on her mind since they began this process. Where had he put all his "stuff"? As Oliver passed by her carrying the last of their things, she placed a hand over his forearm, stopping him mid step. As he looked over at her, Felicity asked, "Where did you put…?" The incomplete question hung in the air between them for a moment.

"It's hidden under everything else," he said in a low voice. She simply nodded and let go of his arm.

Within minutes, everything had been packed and they were slipping on coats. Felicity took one last look around the cottage, her mind trying to memorize every little detail as she gazed at it one last time. This place had been her safe haven for the past several days. So many things had happened here, from the happiness of sharing two beautiful nights in Oliver's arms, to the pain they'd all gone through since the Undertaking. This place felt more like home now than anywhere. It was hard, having to leave it and return to the chaos she knew awaited them in Starling City.

Oliver stood silently beside her, seemingly doing the same. When Felicity glanced up at him, she found a distant look in his eyes, one reminiscent of the night they first got here. She reached out, intertwining her fingers with his, and he looked over at her with a sad smile. Yes, he too was committing these moments to memory. With a gentle tug, she pulled him towards the door. When it was closed and locked behind them, they both let out a deep sigh before heading towards her car.

"Here," Oliver said, dropping her car keys into her hand. "You take Thea. I'll follow behind you in her car. I've got a few things to discuss with Dig before we get back." Felicity simply nodded as her fingers wrapped around the cool metal in her palm. "We'll stop by the diner first and grab some lunch then head out."

"Sounds like a plan," she replied. Felicity looked down at the keys in her hand and sighed. She really didn't want to leave this place yet. They'd spent six days here; six days since their world had crumbled and fallen to pieces. She didn't know if she'd be able to handle going back just yet. There was still so much her mind had to process before she could accept this new reality.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The soft tone of Oliver's voice had her eyes flicking up to glance at him. She could see the concern present in those pale blue orbs. As his hand came to rest against her cheek, Felicity felt herself inching closer to him. When the calloused pad of his thumb began stroking down her jaw, she closed her eyes again and burrowed into the warmth of his palm.

"I… I don't know if I'm… ready to go back," Felicity whispered, trying to keep her voice from cracking. She hated feeling so weak and so frightened. Starling City was her home. It was all she knew, until Oliver had shown her this little world so far removed from the crime ridden streets she was so familiar with.

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. That feeling of safety she now associated with his embrace slowly began to quell her fears. Felicity let her head fall to his chest as she banded her arms around his waist. "I don't know if I'm ready either," Oliver murmured into her hair. She tilted her head up and saw the uncertainty in his eyes as well. "But I need to do this for Thea. I don't like seeing her hurting anymore than I like seeing you hurt."

For the first time in what felt like a very long time, Felicity smiled a genuine, happy smile. "You're turning into every bit of the hero I know you are, Oliver Queen," she whispered. Lifting herself up on the tips of her toes, she pressed a kiss to his lips. When she pulled back, his face had fallen. He looked as if he would completely dismiss her assessment of him, but the question remained in his eyes, silently asking her how she saw him in that light after all he'd done.

"I know right now you don't see it yourself, but what you're doing, setting aside your dislike for your sister's boyfriend in order to save his life, that's something a hero would do," Felicity said as she continued to smile at him. "Don't sell yourself short. I know you'd do anything to protect those you love. And even though sometimes you don't make the best decisions, I know you have a heart of gold." To punctuate her words, she placed her hand on his chest.

The question was still in Oliver's eyes as he stared down at her. "How do you do it?" he asked softly, his thumb stroking over her cheek again.

"Do what?" Felicity replied, suddenly feeling completely caught off guard.

"See the good in me?"

"Because somebody has to when you don't." She was on her toes again, pressing another kiss to his lips. This time, his arms wrapped around her waist and held her there for a little while longer.

When they parted, Oliver pressed his forehead to hers and gave Felicity a small smile. "This is why I love you," he whispered.

She bit her lower lip, wondering how to respond, but was quickly cut off when Thea walked past them carrying the last of her things. "Ugh, get a room," she muttered, not bothering to hide the disdain in her voice. Felicity quickly stepped out of Oliver's arms feeling ashamed that they were being so affectionate towards each other while Thea was worried sick about Roy.

"I'm sorry," Felicity said as she glanced over at Oliver. He gave her a small smile before making his way to the driver's side of the old truck that sat behind her Mini.

Thea didn't say anything else as she sat down beside Felicity. She had reluctantly agreed to ride with her even though she'd really wanted to be with Oliver. Felicity understood and didn't fault the girl. If she were in Thea's shoes, she'd want to spend time with her brother as well.

A few minutes later they were all on the road, Felicity leading the way with Oliver following closely behind. Just as he'd said, they stopped at the diner for a quick lunch before heading back to Starling City.

"Oh, no! You can't be leaving us so soon!" Liv had been devastated by the news. Felicity could see the pained expression she gave all three of them when Oliver told her they needed to head home. When she'd found out the reason why, she'd packed them extra food just in case they got hungry and gave them each a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, her embrace lingering on Thea in a show of support. A few whispered words seemed to calm the reluctant teenager as they finished their goodbyes and headed back to their respective cars, but not before Liv had called Doc and told them they were leaving.

He stopped by a few minutes later to say his goodbyes as well. The friendly smile and big bear hug made Felicity feel like she was going to be missed just as much as Oliver and Thea. "Don't hesitate to give us a call anytime if you need anything. We know there's a lot going on in Starling, so please, if you need any help whatsoever, don't hold back. We're here for you," Doc said as he shook hands with Oliver.

"Thank you, Doc," he replied, before pulling the older man in for one last hug. Oliver, Thea and Felicity soon exited the diner, and with a final wave to the new friends she'd made, they headed to their cars.

"Hey, Thea, would you like to drive? I wanna see if I can get a lock on Roy's cell signal," Felicity said before she reached into her pocket to grab her keys. The younger Queen gave her a relieved look before taking them.

"Of course! If it means we'll find Roy faster, then I'm all for it," she said with a genuine smile.

Oliver shot Felicity a worried glance and she mouthed, "I know what I'm doing." With a small nod, he got into the truck and waited patiently as Thea adjusted the seat and mirrors then started the engine. They were on the road again with Felicity's head ducking down to stare at the screen of her tablet as she began a new search for Roy's signal.

Using the same cell towers she'd used in her previous sweep, she managed to pull up a little more data on the current location of his phone, but it still wasn't as much as she'd like. The information showed a dot with a wide half mile radius around it. She knew what building Roy was in, but without the programs she had on her hard drives back at the foundry, pinpointing his exact location would be difficult.

When they'd left Astoria that afternoon, the sun had been shining bright on the little town. Now, as they closed in on Starling City, the clouds had moved in and begun to thicken. The distant rumble of thunder startled Felicity out of her search and she looked up to see darkness fast approaching. Just as the newscaster said, the weather back home looked atrocious.

"You alright?" Thea asked as she glanced over at her with a concerned expression on her youthful face.

"Yeah, I'm just…" Felicity began, but couldn't really find the right words to express the fear and trepidation that flowed through her the moment she saw a sign that read "Starling City 10 miles". Coupled with the storm brewing above their heads, she really wished she was sitting beside Oliver right now as the terror grew by leaps and bounds.

Thea reached over and grabbed her hand. "Hey, everything's gonna be fine," she reassured in a soft tone.

With a lopsided smiled, Felicity replied, "Shouldn't I be telling you that?"

"Not when you look like you've just seen a ghost," Thea answered. A half grin curled her lips and she added, "I know you and Ollie have been through a lot these last few days. Having to save Roy's ass shouldn't be one of those things, but I really appreciate that you guys are helping me out even though I know how much my brother hates my boyfriend."

"He loves you, Thea. He'd do anything for you, even save your boyfriend's ass again…" And there it was, her stupid foot-in-mouth syndrome coming out to screw things up. And she had been doing so well too. Felicity tried to backtrack as quickly as possible when she saw Thea's eyebrows knit in confusion and the questions begin forming in her eyes. "Because I heard he nearly died once before except that time it was the Vigilante who saved him. This time it's just Oliver. And by just Oliver I mean your brother, not the Vigilante because they are most definitely not the same person. And I'm going to stop right now because I sound like a raving lunatic…"

"You are one strange woman, Blondie," Thea replied as she focused back on the road. She shook her head and chuckled, and Felicity breathed a slight sigh of relief that she hadn't taken much stock in the ramble.

The rain that had been steadily approaching began to fall, first in small drops then quickly escalating into curtains that reduced visibility. Thea slowed the car as they reached the outskirts of the city and Felicity glanced in the mirror to find Oliver still following closely behind. Some relief washed over her, but as they drove along the nearly empty streets, the foreboding feeling she'd had since they left Astoria increased tenfold.

The phone in Felicity's pocket began to ring, startling her yet again. She jumped and breathlessly answered it with, "Yeah?"

"Tell Thea to go to the mansion. We'll meet Diggle there," Oliver said. She could hear the coolness in his voice signaling he was struggling with the emotions of being home just as much as she was. It seemed that only Thea hadn't been as affected as they'd been.

Felicity turned to the younger Queen and relayed the information. With their course set, they took an off ramp about two miles down and ended up on a quiet residential street lined as far as the eye could see with trees that swayed wildly in the whipping wind. Another couple of miles and the road soon became clogged with unexpected traffic.

Cars line the street and as they drove on, it soon became clear that there were people lined up along a ten foot solid grey stone fence with signs in their hands. They were shouting and yelling, but Felicity couldn't make out a thing they were saying as the wind whistled past the car. Glancing at Thea, she could see the shock on the younger woman's face quickly turning into horror, but before she could ask what was wrong, Felicity's phone rang again.

"Tell Thea to turn around," Oliver practically shouted.

That's when Felicity realized what was going on. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She quickly covered it with her hand to try and stop the cry of shock and horror from escaping her mouth. Focusing on a few of the signs, she read what they said and gasped. To some varying degree, they all called for justice from the Queen family for what had happened to the Glades.

"Thea, turn around!" Felicity cried, a sob being ripped from her throat before she could stop it. With almost pinpoint accuracy, Thea swerved and made a fast U-turn. They were soon rushing back to the highway as Felicity looked down at her phone and realized the line was still open. "Oliver, what are we gonna do? Where do we go now?" she asked, her voice shaky and cracking.

"Your place," he replied with resolve. "I already called Dig and told him to meet us there instead."

She nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Okay." Her voice came out weaker than she would have liked, but Felicity couldn't help it. The fear had reached its peak and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Hey, listen to me, Felicity. Everything will be just fine." Oliver was doing his best to reassure her, but he wasn't next to her and that's where she really wished he was.

"I know," Felicity murmured, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Oliver, I don't know if I can do this," she softly admitted.

"Yes, you can. I have faith in you."

Again, she nodded. "Okay," she said, taking a deep breath to try and calm herself. "Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Always."

And with that, they hung up. Oliver took the lead now and drove them away from the mansion back onto the highway. With the roads being empty, they reached Felicity's apartment in less than ten minutes. It was situated in an older part of town, about as far away from the Glades as one could get. The three story brownstone stood at the end of the block facing east. As they pulled up to the curb, one more car joined their fleet.

Rain continued to pour down from the sky as rumbles of thunder boomed in the distance. The storm was getting worse and Felicity's panic had reached its highest level since that morning in the cottage when she'd had her first panic attack. With trembling hands, she threw all her belongings into a plastic bag before reaching for the door handle. Another flash of lightning and clap of thunder startled her and she let out a high pitched squeak. Tears began to flow down her cheeks again, but she took a deep, gulping breath in order to calm her nerves then threw open the door. She resolved to not let the fear get to her, not when she was within feet of her home.

The cold wind whipped into her face spraying droplets of water all over her glasses, but to her relief, Oliver was standing outside waiting for her, umbrella ready. He held out his hand and Felicity gladly took it. She was pulled into his side, his arm wrapping around her shoulders to hold her close as they rushed into the building's foyer together. Thea and Diggle already stood there waiting.

A deep sigh of relief rushed from Felicity's lungs and she practically threw herself into her friend's arms. "It's so good to see you again," she said as she hugged him tight. The comfort she found in his arms was far more than she'd expected and her fears quickly began to melt away.

"You too," Diggle replied before they let go of each other.

Thea handed Felicity her keys and within moments she was letting everyone into her first floor apartment. Shoes were kicked off at the door as wet coats were hung on the rack beside it. As they all filed past her, Felicity stood with her back against the door and surveyed the place. She was finally in her own home again. The relief that suddenly flooded through her washed away the last of the fear and trepidation she'd felt earlier. This little corner of her world hadn't been touched by the Undertaking. It was just as she'd left it a week ago only slightly dustier and with probably a refrigerator full of rotting food.

Pushing off the door, Felicity found them all still standing around in her living room. "Welcome to my humble abode. I know it might not be anything like the opulence you're used to, but please make yourselves at home," she said. "I have bottled water in the fridge if you're not afraid of going through moldy cheese to find it. I'm pretty sure there are stale chips in the cupboards, maybe even some crackers, but I'm not really sure anymore."

"Felicity," Oliver replied, his hands falling to her shoulders. He gave them a little squeeze, cutting off her ramble. "Breathe. We'll talk about food later. Right now, let's just find Roy."

She nodded and wandered off into her bedroom to retrieve her laptop. For a moment, she pondered changing into another set of clothes, but knew her friends were waiting for her. When she returned to the living room, Felicity placed the computer on the dark stained wooden coffee table in front of her white microfiber couch before turning to Diggle and asking, "Do you have the hard drives?"

"Of course," he said, "along with something else I think you'll appreciate." He set a large white plastic bag down on the table beside her laptop and Felicity giddily opened it.

"My purse!" she squealed, grabbing the black handbag and hugging it to her chest. All her most important belongings from her wallet to her cell phone were in that bag along with a few family photos that she held dear and some of her favorite pieces of jewelry. "I owe you big time!" Felicity added, reaching into the plastic bag once more to find the hard drives, individually wrapped in plastic to keep out any rain water.

Within minutes, she had her laptop open and running with the drives plugged in to the USB ports. Felicity searched through each one until she found the programs she was looking for and called them to her screen. Grabbing her tablet, she pulled up the information she'd found on Roy's whereabouts whilst they were driving and downloaded it.

Thea had taken a seat on the couch beside her, idly staring at the computer screen feigning interest in what Felicity was doing. She knew the brunette was looking for anything to keep her occupied, which was why she hadn't objected to the staring.

Oliver took a seat on the floor at her feet, his shoulder coming to rest against the side of her leg, while Diggle grabbed the easy chair off to the right of the couch. They settled into a comfortable silence as Felicity's fingers flew across the keyboard, her searches running at full speed in an effort to pinpoint Roy's exact location. Although she knew what building he was in, sending the boys without any direction would lead to certain disaster. No, they needed to know where he was so they could come up with an entrance and exit strategy.

Half an hour passed and Felicity was beginning to get antsy. She stretched her feet out in front of her, wiggling her toes as she straightened out her back and heard it pop a few times until she'd worked the kinks out. She'd never liked sitting in one place for too long. Even while working, she'd get up constantly to move around and grab a file or a cup of coffee.

From beside her on the floor, she felt Oliver's hands reach over and grab her foot. Calloused fingers began to massage her ankle and had there not been so many people crowded into her apartment, she probably would have let him continue. But considering the way it set her body on fire, she quickly put a stop to it by nudging him with her other foot and giving him a stern glare when he looked up at her, an impish grin on his face.

"Stop that," Felicity scolded him, pulling her toes out of his grasp. Oliver gave her an over-exaggerated pout and she couldn't help the giggle that rose from her throat. Two sets of eyes fell on them and suddenly her face flushed scarlet. But before she could scold him anymore, her computer pinged.

With her attention refocused on the screen, she scanned through what the search had brought up and fist bumped the air. "Found him!" Felicity practically shouted as a wide grin curled along her lips.


	16. Rescue Effort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took longer than I expected because the muse is being fickle as usual. Anyway... Tomorrow's my birthday, so I expect presents in the form of reviews.

Thea scooted closer, practically falling over Felicity's lap to look at the screen as Oliver and Diggle stood, leaning over the back of the couch to listen as she explained her findings.

"The building is located on the corner of Sixth and Harrison. It's an old five story office complex that had been converted into an apartment building when the businesses moved out," she said, pulling up the map and the floor plans, both new and old and setting them side by side on her screen so they could see what had been changed and what had stayed the same.

"The signal from Roy's cell phone seems to be coming from somewhere on the southwest side of building, where much of the damage has been done." Felicity pointed to the general area. "Now, I can't give you a floor, but I'm pretty sure it'll be somewhere along the bottom three because that's where the damage is the worst. If he was on any of the upper floors, he probably would have gotten out by now. Search and rescue says they haven't cleared the second and third floors yet, so I'd start there and work my way up."

She spent a few more minutes explaining the layout of the building, giving the boys an idea of what the best routes would be to get to their target and to get out. When she was done, they dispersed and began to head downstairs to Diggle's car.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Felicity called to them before the door closed. Oliver and Diggle paused for a moment as she stood up and made her way towards them. "We're coming with you," she added, pointing to herself and Thea.

"No, you're not," Oliver adamantly denied. He was quickly leveled with a glare from the blonde standing toe to toe with him.

"Yes, we are," Felicity shot back, placing her hands on her hips and squaring her shoulders. It was the most intimidating stance she could give him at that moment, but it seemed to do the trick. "Who do you think is going to guide you through the building? Who do you think is going to provide you with alternate routes if one is blocked? I certainly can't do that from here because if my search revealed anything, it's that cell service in the Glades is practically non-existent at the moment, so you're going to need backup if you plan on getting in and out quickly and safely."

"She's got a point, Oliver." Ah, Diggle, the voice of reason coming to her rescue. Felicity glanced over at him with a knowing look before turning back to Oliver and arching an eyebrow expectantly.

The muscles in his jaw tightened, and through gritted teeth, he finally replied, "Fine. But you're staying in the car!"

"Alright, I won't argue with that," Felicity replied, letting her arms drop back to her sides as she grabbed her coat and slung it over her shoulders with some help from Oliver. She snatched her laptop and tablet along with a satellite internet link she had in her closet and together they all scrambled out of her apartment towards the black Range Rover parked behind her Mini.

When she was settled in the back seat, Felicity glanced behind it to see the trunk full of equipment. A sigh of relief filled her as she powered up her laptop once more, plugging in the satellite link so she had internet without needing a cell tower nearby. Roy's location was reestablished and within minutes they were cruising down the road towards the building.

Rain still spilled from the sky as lightning illuminated the darkened city. Felicity couldn't help the shudder that ran through her each time thunder rumbled overhead. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, the panic would still rise up within her whenever she heard the crashing. It reminded her far too much of the sounds she heard while she was in the basement of Verdant, and now that they were headed back to the Glades her heart began to race.

When a particularly loud clap of thunder startled her to the point where she let out a yelp and nearly dropped her laptop, Oliver turned around to glance at her from the passenger's seat. His hand fell over her jean clad knee and gave it a soft squeeze. A shuddered breath escaped Felicity's lips but she was glad to have the comfort of his touch at that moment. Her fingers slipped over his, the warmth of his skin spreading through her palm all the way to her heart. With a brief knowing gaze shared between them, the moment passed and he pulled away to let her work.

"Hey, I need your cell phones," Felicity said as they approached Sixth Street. Without question, Oliver and Diggle both handed them over. They were plugged into her laptop and she proceeded to load them with a detailed map of the building's floor plan even though she knew it was useless.

They usually relied on her eyes looking at the screen and providing directions while on a mission. Still, it served as peace of mind for her to know that if anything went wrong, they could still find their way out. Giving them back, she reached into the trunk and rummaged through the black cases until she found the one she was looking for.

The car had been pulled into a dark alley on the northeast side of the building. It was their only access point since the rest of the area had been surrounded by police caution tape and provided the added benefit of being hidden from any prying eyes. In the darkness, only the glow of Felicity's laptop provided any light with which to see. She unlocked the case that was now sitting between her and Thea and pulled out three comm links. Two were passed to the men sitting in front of her while the third was slipped into her ear.

Oliver and Diggle exited the car, the hoods of their jackets thrown over their heads to keep the rain from falling into the eyes, and headed to the trunk. They began unloading everything from ropes and rigging equipment to flashlights and small hatchets. It was strange, seeing Oliver on a mission and not suited up. But with Thea already looking absolutely shocked to the core by what was going on around her, Felicity knew this was the only way they could do things. The sinking feeling she had in her stomach once they left her alone with the younger Queen told her she was in for an interrogation.

As the trunk hatch closed, Felicity rolled down her window and called out to Oliver. He came bounding back to stand in front of her, his face obscured by the hood over his head. A small smile crept onto her lips. Even though it was black instead of green, she still got a sense that she was staring back at her hero in disguise. Biting her lip, Felicity asked, "Are you sure about doing this? I mean, are you alright going in there and…?" Her voice was soft as she reached out her hand and stroked his cheek.

"I'll be okay," Oliver replied, giving her a weak smile as he turned his head to kiss her palm. She knew he was just playing to her insecurities, but it didn't ease her worry. He was about to go into a collapsing building, and the memories of Tommy's death were still fresh in his mind. She was worried about him; worried that he might have a flashback of that night considering it had only been a week since it happened.

"Felicity," he whispered, cupping her cheek when she realized she hadn't said anything for a long while. "I'll be okay, I promise."

"Just… be careful," Felicity whispered, leaning through the window to capture his lips.

"We will," Oliver murmured back, his wet fingers stroking down her cheek. "Love you," he added before placing one final kiss to the tip of her nose. Felicity just smiled and waved him off.

The window was rolled back up to keep anymore rain from entering the car as she settled into her seat and took note of the two dots that had appeared on her screen; green for Oliver and blue for Diggle.

"Why does it feel like this isn't the first time you've done this?" Thea's voice came from beside her. The interrogation had begun. Felicity glanced up to meet the brunette's eyes and found not only suspicion, but confusion as well. "I know you're like some kind of computer genius, but I highly doubt your job at Queen Consolidated has you tracking people. I thought you just worked IT."

Felicity's mouth hung open. Thea was much smarter than she had expected. Somehow she'd put two and two together, and it would only be a matter of time before she figured out that her brother was the Vigilante. This was a train wreck waiting to happen, but a voice on the comm quickly saved her with an answer.

"Tell her you used your free time to look for Walter," Oliver instructed.

"I used my free time to search for Walter and got pretty good at it," Felicity said as she turned her eyes back to the screen.

"Then where did all this equipment come from?" Thea was on a roll. She wasn't going to stop this until she had what she wanted.

At least this time Felicity had an answer for her that would be satisfactory. "Diggle has a friend at the FBI who hooked us up," she replied, keeping her tone nonchalant and casual.

"And since when does my brother know anything about search and rescue? I mean, I can understand Mr. Diggle because he's ex-military, but Oliver? Last time I checked, he could barely remember to eat."

"Your brother survived five years on an island. He's capable of more than you know," Felicity snapped. That last question has irritated her to the core. Although she knew Thea had no clue as to what he'd been through on the island (hell, she barely knew anything herself), Felicity hoped his sister would hold her brother in higher regard, especially since he was risking his life and his sanity to save her boyfriend.

Hearing a slight chuckle of amusement from Oliver, she returned her eyes to the screen, watching the dots make their way from one room to the next as they searched for Roy on the second floor. Thea remained quiet at her side. A sideways glance at the brunette revealed a contemplative albeit angry look on her face, but at least she hadn't asked anymore questions for the last few minutes.

The dots on Felicity's screen stopped moving and Diggle's voice came over the comm. "The stairwell to the third floor is blocked. Are there any other routes upstairs?" he asked.

"Hold on, let me take a look," Felicity replied, now completely ignoring Thea as she scanned the floor plans. "There's another stairwell down the hall and to your right. Try that one. If it's blocked as well, there should be one more at the other end of the building."

"How are you guys suddenly acting like a trained FBI team?" Thea quickly recovered from Felicity's cut down and had started her questioning again, this time more determined than ever. She wasn't letting this go, and Felicity knew at some point she'd crack under the pressure unless the boys found Roy soon. That would be her only salvation from Thea's incessant questions.

The sound of glass breaking and wood splintering filled Felicity's ears as her eyes flicked back to her screen. Oliver and Diggle were on the third floor now, their search having begun anew. They had made their way back to the southwest corner of the building and were slowly creeping through the worst of the damage. Through the comms she could hear grunts and muffled orders pass between them as they cleared a path through the rubble.

"I know there's something you guys aren't telling me," Thea spoke up again, this time angrier than before. Felicity glanced in her direction momentarily, but she paid her no mind. Her eyes remained on the screen, bottom lip worried between her teeth as she watched the dots slowly go from one room to the next. Then they stopped.

"One of these days, Blondie, I will get you to crack," Thea warned as she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at Felicity.

"We found him!" Oliver's shout practically startled her out of her seat. The laptop slipped from her knees and landed on her toes, and she scrambled to place it back into her lap as the news finally hit her.

"You found him?!" Felicity replied, the smile on her face growing wide.

"What!" Thea dropped her anger almost immediately as she leaned forward trying to listen in on the conversation. "They found Roy?" Felicity glanced at her and nodded. "Is he okay?"

"How is he?" Felicity relayed over the comm so the boys could hear the question.

"Nothing an ice pack and a few pain killers won't fix," Diggle replied. "Looks like mostly cuts and scratches, probably a little dehydrated too. But he's able to walk. He was stuck under some cinder block and sheetrock that fell from the ceiling."

Felicity turned to Thea and relayed the information. It earned her a big bear hug from the brunette who seemed to have forgotten her earlier anger. The relief was written all over her face, though, a sight Felicity had seen once before. She was happy to have been able to help out again. It was a great feeling, saving someone's life. Her heart always fluttered with pride and joy whenever she pulled off that kind of feat.

This was the main reason Felicity had stayed even after they'd found Walter. It was this feeling of accomplishment that came with helping people. And although she'd been rattled to the core when the earthquake happened, being able to put her skills back into action helped ease some of that pain. Slowly but surely, things would get back to normal. Felicity could feel the tides already changing. It would only be a matter of time before she'd get back on that horse again and overcome the fear that had stolen her innocence.

As she continued to hug Thea, another sound came over the comms. It was the sound of steel girders bending under pressure. Before she even knew what was happening, Diggle's voice had her heart racing when he yelled, "Oliver, look out!" And that's when all hell broke loose. Glass smashing, cinder blocks falling and cracking, wood splintering, water rushing down, people yelling; all these sounds exploded in her ear making Felicity flinch.

Time seemed to stop as silence took over the space where sound had once startled her. She could only hear the blood rushing in her ears as she waited for something, anything to come over the comms. "Oliver?" Her voice nearly cracked as tears pricked her eyes. Beside her, Thea tensed, her arms tightening around her shoulders as she stared at Felicity, the fear growing in her soft blue eyes.

"What's going on?" Thea asked, trepidation mounting in her voice as her arms slipped away from the blonde and she sat back in her seat. She looked terrified. Felicity could only image what was going through her mind. She'd almost lost her brother and her boyfriend once before. Now having to deal with it a second time… It was akin to the many nights Felicity had worried about Oliver's safety on his missions, especially the ones where he came back bruised and bleeding. She just hoped for both their sakes this was just a little bump in the road and that the boys were alright.

"I don't know," Felicity shakily replied. "Oliver? Oliver! Can you hear me? What's going on?" The longer she waited for a response, the greater her panic grew until her hands were shaking where they rested against her keyboard. "Oliver, please say something!" She was on the verge of tears now, a lump forming in her throat and making it almost impossible to breathe.

Several more moments passed before a cough could be heard over the comm. Then there was a groan followed by more coughs. Felicity stared at the screen, focusing on the blue and green dots that blinked in front of her, silently willing someone to speak. "Oliver? Diggle? Can you hear me?" she kept asking, over and over again.

"We're okay," Oliver's strained voice finally came through on the comm. Felicity let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding as she slumped back in her seat. A couple of tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"Oh, thank god," she sighed. "What the hell happened?"

"The roof caved in from all the rainwater," he answered. Oliver groaned and immediately she sat up straight again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, the concern clear in her voice.

"Just a little shaken up, that's all. We're fine," Diggle chimed in and Felicity believe him. He was the only one she would believe when it came to things like this. "I think we have a problem, though," he added.

"Problem?" Felicity squeaked. She never liked hearing the word "problem" when it came to those two.

"I think we might be trapped now."

Felicity groaned, "And you wanted to leave me at home…" With a sigh, she plugged her phone into the laptop and downloaded the building schematics just as she had for Oliver and Diggle. Once the transfer was complete, she powered it down, placing it under the seat in front of her so no one would see it. The car keys were still in the ignition. Felicity reached over the center console and palmed them before stepping out of her door and going to the trunk as rain continued to pour from the sky.

More rescue gear sat in the back, most of which Felicity was familiar with. She grabbed the rest of the rope and a pair of flashlights, handing one to Thea. In another one of the black cases she found a tool kit and took it just in case. As a precaution, she also handed Thea the bag with the medical supplies before shutting the trunk and locking up. Together they stepped into the damaged building using Felicity's phone to navigate through the endless corridors and empty rooms.

"You never answered any of my questions," Thea said as they climbed the stairs to the third floor.

Felicity's head shot up from her screen as she stared at the younger woman with what she hoped was an unreadable expression. From her comm she heard Oliver grumble. He'd caught every single one of their exchanges and she knew he wasn't happy that he'd left her with his all too inquisitive sister.

"Felicity," he warned. "Ignore her or distract her."

"This way," she said, pointing to her right once they reached their floor. "At least that's what I think from what the GPS said. Most of the time you can count of those things to be pretty accurate, within about three feet from a target, but sometimes they can screw up and send you in the completely wrong direction. I heard about this guy who accidentally ran off a cliff in his car one time because he was paying too much attention to his GPS than he was the road."

There was a chuckle in her ear. Felicity realized that, not for the first time, she'd been saved by a ramble and that Oliver had found it amusing. A slight smile crept onto her lips. She was suddenly thankful for the darkness because had Thea seen it, she probably would have had to endure a whole new line of questioning.

"Really, Blondie?" Thea rolled her eyes. There was no doubt in Felicity's mind she knew she was trying to deflect. But she was doing as Oliver told her and it seemed to be working. "I'll get something out of you sooner or later," Thea added just before they reached a massive wall of rubble.

"I think we found them," Felicity said. "Oliver! Dig!" she called out before hearing them both hiss over their comms.

"Felicity!" Oliver shouted back and immediately she understood why he was so angry. His voice startled her to the point of jumping back slightly before regaining her footing. She'd forgotten to mute her comm.

"Sorry," she muttered before taking it out of her ear and turning the volume off. "Oliver! Can you hear me?" she yelled again.

"Yeah! We can hear you!" he called back through the debris.

Relief flooded through Felicity as she began to look for ways around the solid mass of broken cinder blocks, shattered glass and splintered wood that had piled up blocking any exit route the boys had to escape. Consulting the detailed floor plan on her phone, she took her time looking for any possible entry points that didn't include the hallway ahead of her.

Then she saw it. There were air conditioning vents to the left of the hallway big enough to shimmy through in order to reach them. Looking down, Felicity saw one of the vents and motioned for Thea to give her a hand. The tool kit was set on the ground and opened. Felicity grabbed a screw driver then handed one to Thea. They quickly set to work removing the screws from the vent then pried off the cover.

"Here," Felicity said, removing her comm and handing it over to Thea. "Just in case." It was taken off mute, but just before she let Thea have it, Felicity gave the boys a heads up. "Hey, I'm giving Thea my comm. I found a way in. I'll be there in a minute," she said. Before either Oliver or Diggle could protest, she had Thea slip it into her ear.

"Wait, what do I do with this thing?" Thea asked just before Felicity ducked down.

"Talk. They hear everything you say, you hear everything they say. Simple as that," Felicity answered then stuck her head into the dark vent. She had a momentary flash of the foundry when dust floated in her face, but a deep breath helped to steady her along with the thought of being able to see Oliver in just a few minutes. Taking another breath, she shimmied into the vent and coughed as the dust settled.

Felicity began making her way down the metal ducting, flashlight pointed straight out in front of her guiding her way. When she got to the next vent, she could see where the problem lay. "Hey, guys!" she called out to them, her voice echoing down the narrow corridor.

"Felicity? Where are you?" Oliver yelled back. The image of him looking completely confused put a smile on her face. What she wouldn't give to actually see that right now.

"Look down and to your… Hell, I have no idea which way you're facing, but look down. There's an air conditioning vent on the western wall that's blocked by debris. Clear that and you'll find me," she instructed. "And could you please do it quick? I really don't like being in here!"

It didn't take them more than a minute to locate her and dig through the rubble that blocked the vent. The beam of someone's LED flashlight shone through the metal slots right to where she was laying and Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. She really didn't like being in small confined spaces and this vent was quickly reminding her why.

"There you are," Oliver said, and she snapped her head up so she was face to face with him. A soft smile graced his lips and Felicity couldn't help but smile back with relief.

"Hey," she replied. "You got a screwdriver?" Oliver looked up to Diggle and she could see that neither one of them had the foresight to grab a tool kit just in case something like this happened. "Really?" Her voice was deadpan as she narrowed her eyes at them. "Oh, are you serious?! Here I am, risking my life to save your asses and you forget to grab a screwdriver?"

They were both looking at her apologetically when she took the one she'd used out of her pocket and began prying open the slats in order for it to fit through. "You are never going to live this down," Felicity muttered with a sly smile.

"You know I love you, right?" Oliver asked when he took hold of it and began deftly extracting screws from the sides of the cover.

"Yes," she simply answered. "Now get me the hell out of here. I don't like small spaces."

"Yes ma'am."

"And don't call me 'ma'am'! I don't like that either."

Oliver chuckled and she couldn't help but crack a smile as well. When he pried the vent cover away from the wall, Felicity breathed another sigh of relief as he grabbed her hands when she crawled through the opening. She was wrapped in his arms moments later as he brushed cobwebs and dust away from her face. "My hero," he jokingly murmured into her ear.

Felicity couldn't stop herself from gently slapping him across the chest. "Don't be an ass," she shot back, her eyes narrowing at him. But there was no anger to back it up. Oliver nuzzled her neck, his lips brushing against the pale column as she held tightly to his shoulders. This was all the comfort in the world she needed right now. Having his arms banded around her waist holding her as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, it was her safe haven.

When a throat cleared behind them, Felicity was quick to pull away, her face flushing red as she glanced over Oliver's shoulder to find Diggle and a very dusty and dirty Roy Harper staring at them slightly annoyed.

The younger man looked worse for wear, with blood trickling from a gash on his forehead and bruises covering the side of his face and neck. There were probably more hiding beneath the red hoodie he wore. His left arm was held close to his body indicating some kind of injury that appeared similar to her shoulder separation, but other than that, he looked good for being stuck in a crumbling building for over twenty-four hours.

"Let's go," Oliver said, regaining Felicity's attention as he took her hand and led her back to the air vent. Crouching, he peered inside then looked up at her. "Are you sure we can fit in there?"

"Like the Tardis, it's a lot bigger on the inside," she replied, a smile quirking up her lips. It earned her a confused look from the man kneeling in front of her. "Dr. Who?" Oliver's eyes narrowed. "Thea was right, you really do need to get brought up to speed with pop culture."

He rolled his eyes at her and answered, "Can we please just get out of here already? I've got a very annoyed sister wanting to see her boyfriend who won't shut up until he crawls through that hole on the other side of this wall."

"Alright, alright, we're going," Felicity said as she crouched down beside Oliver and shimmied in the way she'd come. Soon all four of them were crawling the twenty or so feet through the vent to the other side where Thea was waiting to give them a hand.

Felicity was the first to crawl out followed by Oliver then Diggle and finally Roy. When Thea saw him, she practically threw herself into his arms, the tears of joy streaming down her cheeks as she hugged and kissed him with fervor.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," she warned before planting another bruising kiss to his lips.

"I won't," Roy promised, the breath slightly leaving his lungs as he looked down at the brunette with such love Felicity couldn't help but smile. She felt Oliver's arms wrap around her and in that moment, the world didn't seem so bad anymore. Life was beautiful again and she wanted nothing more than for things to stay this way.

But the calm was shattered when the ground beneath her feet began to tremble. Oliver's arms tightened around her as five pairs of eyes wildly looked about the room to see what was going on. "It's another aftershock!" Roy yelled as he grabbed Thea's hand and yanked her down the hall.

Diggle, Oliver and Felicity soon followed with Oliver grabbing her hand, dragging her down the darkened corridor as well. She kept her focus on his fingers and the warmth that spread out from them straight into her skin, keeping the panic at bay. It wasn't long before they reached a large open space that appeared to be some kind of foyer with stairs that led down to the lower levels of the building. The stained marble floor was littered with cracks and holes, a sure sign that it would collapse at any moment.

Roy was careful to side step the larger gaps as he led them through the hazardous maze towards the stairs. But Felicity's heart continued to beat wildly in her chest. It hadn't stopped since the shaking began even though she knew the tremor had long since ended. She tried to pay attention to her footing, but every once in a while her toes slipped into one of the holes and she wavered. Oliver's grip tightened around her fingers, continuing to pull her forward as the rest of the group made it to the staircase.

That was when she realized they still had half the floor to cover and it was her fault. A pang of guilt ran through Felicity as she tried to quicken her pace, but the fear that coursed through her veins kept her feet from moving any faster. The sheer terror that gripped her at the thought of falling through that floor flooded her mind. Memories of her nightmares returned and she gasped, her knees giving out from under her.

Oliver was at her side in an instant, holding her up against his side. That simple touch was all she needed to snap her out of the horrors in her mind and regain some of her footing. Felicity gazed up at him to find that his eyes told a similar story of the fear that had gripped her. They were both scared, but at least he had the presence of mind to keep them going. Wrapping her fingers around his hand once more, they began to weave their way through the cracked marble.

Ten steps separated them from their escape. Ten paces and they would be down the stairs and out of this god forsaken place once and for all. The relief Felicity felt when she saw the metal railings gave her a moment of respite until she felt Oliver lurch forward then disappear before her eyes. Her body was tugged forward, her knees hitting the ground before she ended up laying flat on her stomach.

Through the entire ordeal, their hands never separated. Felicity held on tighter as she was pulled in the direction Oliver disappeared until the tips of her toes found a crack in the tiles and dug in. Although the move kept her from sliding forward, her arm was left to take the brunt of his weight. She cried out in pain when they both stopped sliding, the sickening pop of her shoulder separating from the socket echoing through the empty space. Even though she was in agony, Felicity swung her other hand around and grabbed his wrist, holding onto him for dear life.

One glance was all it took to see the predicament they were now in. Oliver was dangling over the edge of a black hole desperately clawing at crumbling concrete to find purchase with one hand as the other gripped Felicity's. She couldn't see the bottom. It could have been a few feet deep to several hundred; she had no way of knowing. What she did know was that the weight of Oliver's body was far too much for her to hold by herself.

"Oliver!" she cried out. "Oliver, hold on!" Glancing up, she saw the horror spread out amongst the three other faces of their search party. But they weren't just staring at Felicity. The hole Oliver was dangling over spread out from one wall to the other making it nearly impossible for them to reach her. The marble had crumbled from the foot of the stairs to where she lay on her stomach about twenty feet away, a gap far too large for anyone to jump over, especially with no running start.

"Hang in there!" Diggle called to them as he pulled out his phone and began searching the building schematics. He turned to Thea and Roy and said, "There's another hallway that leads to the foyer. If we go downstairs and head back up the emergency stairwell, I think we can get to them in a few minutes."

"I don't know how much longer I can hold on to him!" Felicity desperately yelled, her eyes finding Oliver's in the darkness almost instantly. The pain in her shoulder was worse now, but she tried to hide it as she said, "Just hold on, Oliver. Please, hold on."

"You have to let go," he sternly replied.

"No!" she shouted back. "I can hold on for a little longer until…"

"Let go, Felicity!" Oliver yelled to her, but her fingers remained tightly wrapped around his wrist.

"NO!" she cried as tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'm not letting go! I can't let you go!" A sudden flashback to her last nightmare popped into her head, only now the roles had been reversed. Felicity was determined to not let it end the way it had in her dream. She had just gotten Oliver back. There was no way she'd lose him again. "I told you that night that if you weren't leaving, I wasn't leaving, and I meant it! I'm not leaving you!"

But as water dripped down through the cracks in the ceiling overhead, her hands became wet and slippery. Felicity was losing her grip and Oliver's fingers were slowly slipping from her grasp. If Diggle, Thea and Roy didn't reach them soon, there was a good chance he would fall. The possibility of death was too much for her to handle. She couldn't let him fall. She  _wouldn't_  let him fall.

"You have to let me go!" Oliver pleaded. Even though she had both hands around his, he continued to slip from her fingers. They were holding onto each other by a thread now. At any moment, Felicity knew she'd be forced to let go.

Losing Oliver became the only thought in her mind. They had come so far, through the joy and the pain, struggling to express their feelings for each other until that moment the previous night when he told her he loved her. Felicity's mind played it over again, reminding her just how much hope she'd seen in his eyes, how much he truly cared about her. More tears slipped down her cheeks. She didn't want to know what life would be like without Oliver in it.

In that moment, Felicity made her choice. "Oliver," she said, and when their eyes locked, she added, "I'm sorry."

With his hand slipping from her grasp, Felicity unhooked her feet from where she'd dug them in and let gravity do the rest. They were soon falling together, her hand still tightly wrapped in his as he pulled her to his chest. Burying her face in his neck, she whispered, "I love you." Oliver's arms tightened around her waist until the moment of impact. Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intentionally being evil right now because life is shit and I'm an unhappy soul which in turn makes my muse unhappy. So you see how important reviews are? They keep my spirits up and help me in the writing process.


	17. Bleed For You

Pain... It was the only thing she felt when her eyes fluttered open; searing pain in her left shoulder and leg. The darkness took a moment to adjust to, but when her eyes became accustomed to it, Felicity could see she was in some kind of basement. She'd been laying on her left side and quickly rolled onto her back, abating some of the pain that ran through her extremities.

Above her was the hole she'd fallen through. Drops of water fell from the jagged edges of the marble floor some thirty feet up, dripping onto her face as she tried to feel out the rest of her surroundings. Reaching out her good arm, Felicity felt nothing but cold concrete to her right. It prompted her to try and sit up, although once she had, her head began to swim.

Lying back against the floor, she felt something slightly warmer than the concrete brush against her injured arm. Oliver! The sharp turn her head took to see if her suspicions were correct only caused the world to spin even more. Once her eyes focused, Felicity could make out his form lying on the ground beside her. She let out a relieved sigh and did her best to scoot closer to him.

It took ever last bit of strength Felicity had to ease herself into a sitting position at his side, the pain in her shoulder and leg jolting through her with ever move she made. "Oliver?" she whispered, her right hand reaching over and seeking out whatever part of his body she could touch. She found his shoulder and followed the curve up until her fingers were against his cheek. He was lying on his right side towards her, his face obscured by the shadows.

Something warm and sticky coated her fingers as she gently stroked his skin. When she brought them up to her bleary eyes, the red tinge quickly had her staring down at his prone body. That's when she noticed the blood; a lot of blood. "Oh, god," Felicity stuttered. "Oliver?" Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she tried to give him a visual once over.

Oliver lay limp, a pool of blood gathering beneath his head while more dripped from his lips. The horror of what she saw hit Felicity so hard that a sob was ripped from her throat. "Oh, god, please no!" she cried.

He had taken the brunt of the impact, trying his best to shield her from the force of hitting the ground, but in the process putting himself in danger. Now, as Felicity stared down at him through tear-blurred eyes, she could see exactly what damage had been done. Her heart sank when she realized the blood beneath his head was most likely from cracking his skull against the concrete while that dripping from his lips suggested some kind of internal injury.

For the first time since the night she'd discovered Oliver bleeding in the back of her car, Felicity felt a terror so deep it sucked the breath from her lungs until she couldn't breathe. Tears flooded down her cheeks as she curled herself around Oliver the best she could. "No!" she cried, over and over until the pain from her own injuries consumed her and she lost consciousness again.

It was the feeling of weightlessness that roused Felicity. Strong arms slid beneath her neck and her knees, lifting her off the ground. "No, Oliver," she moaned as her eyes fought to open and see him. But all she saw was the red hoodie of the man carrying her up a set of stairs before being carried out in the cold rain then settled into the warmth of the Range Rover.

A flurry of activity followed. Felicity heard hushed voices somewhere off in the distance then a door was opened. The SUV rocked slightly beneath her and the door was shut again. The engine started and they were moving. She groaned as the car lurched forward.

"Stay with me, Felicity." It was Diggle. She cracked open an eye to see him in the driver's seat and groaned again when he made a sudden left turn. "How's Oliver doing?" he called behind him.

"Not good." Thea sounded terrified, even more so than when she'd found out Roy was trapped in a collapsing building. It made Felicity's heart nearly stop. The memory of finding him lying in a pool of his own blood made tears spring from her eyes again.

"Hey, everything's fine," Roy soothingly murmured from above her.

Felicity shut her eyes. She didn't want to think at that moment so she forced her mind to go blank. The rocking of the SUV began lulling her into unconsciousness until a sudden stop brought her back out. Doors were opened and suddenly she was being carried out into the cold once more. It was only for a moment though; then Roy yelled, "I need some help!"

The bright lights of the hospital emergency room were nearly blinding, but the sounds of the nurses and doctors calling out orders had her ears ringing. Felicity was rushed into triage and placed on a gurney as nurses surrounded her bed. They had just begun hooking her up to machines and taking her vitals when she heard the last thing she wanted to hear.

"Code blue! Immediate assistance needed at the ER entrance."

Several of the nurses flew out the door leaving Felicity with the perfect view of the horror happening outside her room. On the gurney that rushed past lay Oliver with one doctor performing chest compressions while a nurse administered oxygen. She sat up immediately, ignoring the pain in her shoulder and the nurses' protests.

"No!" Felicity screamed, trying to hop off the bed and run to him. She was caught by a pair of strong arms and held back. "Oliver!" she cried out, struggling to free herself from the vice like grip of the man holding her back. "Oliver!" There were tears streaming down her face as she slumped back, unable to fight any longer.

"Please, please, he can't die," Felicity babbled as she was eased back onto the gurney and settled in so the nurses could finish looking her over before sending her to one of the rooms. "I can't lose him. Please, I love him." An IV was placed in her right arm while the nurse gave her a shot of something in her left. Within minutes, the pain began to subside as numbness overtook her limbs.

"Sweetie, you need to tell me what hurts," the nurse said as Felicity began slipping out of consciousness.

"My… my shoulder," she mumbled, placing her hand over her injured left arm.

"Anything else?" The nurse was being incredibly patient with her as whatever medication she'd been given to ease her pain took effect. Time slowed down, and it took the woman's hand squeezing her fingers to bring her back from the brink of passing out. "What else hurts, honey?"

"M' leg," Felicity managed to murmur before giving up the fight and slipping into oblivion.

She didn't know how long she'd been out, but when she awoke, Felicity found herself in a darkened room, the curtains drawn closed and the lights dimmed low. Every bone and muscle in her body ached, but the warmth of fingers wrapped around her right hand helped ease some of the pain as she dared to open her eyes and look at the person sitting beside her.

"Dig," she rasped, turning her head slightly so she was facing him. A smile turned up on the corners of her lips when she finally saw her friend.

"Hey, welcome back, sleeping beauty," he jested. He looked relieved to see her, a smile also gracing his face as he gave her fingers a light squeeze. "How are you feeling?"

"Mmm… Everything hurts," Felicity murmured. She tried to move slightly, but the action only caused her to groan and stop.

"Yeah, well, you've got a dislocated shoulder and a broken leg. You'll be hurting for a while, but they got you on the good pain meds."

"Awesome." Felicity looked down to see the lower half of her leg surrounded by a large black splint that stopped just below her knee. Her shoulder was back in a sling with a pillow resting below it.

"You need anything?" Diggle asked.

Felicity paused for a moment. She knew what she wanted, but saying it out loud meant repercussions she didn't know she was ready to handle. Swallowing thickly, she said, "Oliver… Is he…?"

"Still alive?" Diggle replied with a deep sigh. He wasn't looking at her. Felicity knew something was wrong. Judging from what happened in the ER before she passed out, it wasn't good news. She could only hope it was better than the worst because her heart was already in a fragile state. "Barely. He got out of surgery a few hours ago."

A heavy silence fell between them as Felicity took her time processing the information. It was better than she'd hoped, but she still needed to know. "What… um… What happened?" She was hesitant about asking, but her curiosity would kill her if she didn't find out.

"Doctor said he broke his arm and leg, but he also had several broken ribs. One of them punctured his lung. They managed to stop the bleeding but it's the head trauma that's got everyone worried."

"Oh, god…" Flashes of waking up on cold concrete and seeing all the blood that had gathered around Oliver's head assaulted her mind. Felicity gasped but stopped herself before a sob escaped her lips. Diggle's hand tightened around hers and for a moment he looked as if he would stop talking. "Please," she choked out, begging him to keep going.

With a deep sigh, Diggle continued, "He's in a coma. They're saying he has a fractured skull and an epidural hematoma. Oliver cracked his head pretty good and they're doing everything they can to relieve the swelling on his brain."

"I want to see him." Even though tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, Felicity knew with every fiber of her being she wouldn't rest easy until she saw Oliver for herself. That's all that mattered right then. If she didn't see him soon, she didn't know what she'd do. Her heart ached to feel his skin beneath her fingertips, to make sure he was alive and breathing as Diggle said.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." He sounded worried. Felicity knew he had every right to be. Here she was, barely awake after a fall that nearly killed both her and Oliver begging to see him no matter what state he was in.

"Dig, I  _need_  to see him." The conviction was strong in her voice even as the tears slipped down her cheeks. As much as she wanted to heed Diggle's warning, her heart could not rest until she saw Oliver. She steeled herself for the answer, her fingers twisting in the sheets as she waited.

"Okay," he relented with a sigh before letting go of her hand and standing up. Diggle left the room for a moment, soon returning with a wheelchair.

Once she was settled in, he wheeled Felicity out of her room and straight into the one across the hall. The first person she saw was Roy. He stood in front of a chair by the bed, his red hoodie now thrown haphazardly across the couch on the other side of the room leaving him in a plain white t-shirt and dusty jeans. Although he had nothing on Oliver in the muscle department, he was still rather built for someone so lanky.

When they entered the room, Roy turned to look at her and Felicity could see his left arm also in a sling. Just as she'd surmised earlier, there were more bumps and bruises across his arms and neck, but he looked to be doing okay. "Hey," he greeted them with a wry smile as he stepped away from the chair to reveal Thea.

"Hey," Felicity replied. Her gaze settled on the brunette. Thea's head had turned and she could now see the worry etched in the younger woman's eyes.

"Felicity! You're finally awake," Thea said as she shot off the chair and came over to give her a gentle hug. Felicity wrapped her good arm around her neck, holding on for a few seconds longer than necessary as Thea squeezed her tight. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"I'm aching, but I'd really like to see Oliver," Felicity answered as she pulled away from the younger Queen and tried to peer over her shoulder towards the bed.

"They just brought him in," Thea said, her voice filling with worry and grief as she stepped aside. "He, um…" Her lower lip began to tremble as she tried to hold back the emotions that were now flowing through her eyes.

"Don't worry, I already told her," Diggle interrupted before she burst into tears. Thea gave him an appreciative look and sat down in the chair she had occupied earlier. Roy passed her a tissue from the bedside table and she dabbed her eyes with it. The wheelchair rolled forward until Felicity was alongside the bed. That's when she finally got her first glimpse of Oliver since the fall.

"Oh, dear god," she gasped, the tears stinging her eyes again. White surgical gauze encircled his head, hiding his short, chestnut colored hair. A long white tube ran past his almost colorless lips and down his collared throat, helping him breathe.

The longer Felicity sat there, the harder the vice around her heart clenched. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. If it hadn't been for the wires that crisscrossed his body and the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, she could have sworn Oliver looked like a corpse in the city morgue. Using the armrest of the wheelchair as a crutch, she rose slowly.

"Whoa, hey, maybe you should…" Diggle started to say but the pointed look Felicity gave him when she turned around was enough to put an end to the conversation before it even started. Instead of arguing with her, he looped an arm around her waist and held her up as she stood on her good leg.

Felicity stopped when she found herself standing at Oliver's side. Her hand reached out and gently brushed up against his. The coolness that had been there earlier was gone, now replaced by soothing warmth that spread through her fingers and helped ease the pain in her heart. A deep, shuttering sigh of relief escaped her. She wrapped her fingers around his hand and brought it up to her chest.

"Oh, Oliver," Felicity whispered as she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his gauze covered temple. She let her head fall against his shoulder as the tears began to stream down her cheeks. "I love you so much. Please don't let this be the last time I get to say it to you. Please don't die. Please! I can't lose you. Not now, not ever. Please be okay. You mean the world to me," she sobbed, holding tight to his hand.

Pressing his palm over the flimsy material of her hospital gown, she made sure he could feel the beat of her heart beneath it. "Remember, I'm trusting you with it," Felicity murmured, placing a soft kiss to his cheek. And with that, she stood back up, her weight shifting so she leaned fully against Diggle's side and she stared down at Oliver, his hand still over her heart.

"Come on, you need to rest just as much as he does," Diggle said before leading her back to the wheelchair. Felicity reluctantly let go of Oliver's hand and sat back down. With one final glance over her shoulder, she was returned to her room and settled in. A nurse was already standing inside looking rather displeased that her patient wasn't in her bed.

"You need anything?" Diggle asked before heading out.

"My spare glasses would be nice," Felicity replied noting she didn't see her usual pair anywhere. They had most likely been totaled in the fall. The middle aged nurse continued her work, administering a dose of pain medication into the IV. It was fast acting, something Felicity appreciated when her pain began to numb away until it was almost completely gone. With a sigh, she settled into the soft sheets as her eyes began to droop.

"They'll be here when you wake up," Diggle said with a comforting smile. One last glance and he was gone. Felicity fell asleep almost immediately after that.

She was in and out of consciousness for the rest of the day, waking up every once in a while to eat or go to the bathroom. And just as Diggle promised, her glasses were on the bedside table when she awoke. The nurses were nice and took good care of her. But Oliver remained on her mind every waking moment. Felicity found herself staring at the open door hoping to catch a glimpse of him even though she knew the way her bed was angled made it impossible. Still, she held out hope.

There were a few times when she woke up and found Thea sitting beside her with Roy acting as her shadow. She'd relay whatever information she could. Most recently Oliver had been taken down for another set of CT scans and MRI's to check and see if the swelling in his brain had gone down. It continued to be touch and go, but Thea was holding up, most likely because she had Roy to hold her hand now.

It made Felicity's heart ache seeing the two of them so happy together. She wanted that more than anything, to be happy with the man she loved. But Oliver was in a coma. All she could do was wait and pray. When the nurse came in at five that afternoon, Felicity was all too happy for her next dose of medication. It meant another few hours of dreamless sleep and peaceful solitude far removed from what was currently going on.

When she awoke the next time, darkness had blanketed the city and she felt another warm hand in hers. It wasn't Thea's, though. No, this one was rougher. The palm was calloused as were a few of the fingers. But they were delicate too, almost like her mother's

"She's waking up! Quick, dear, come over here." The familiar female voice wasn't that of her mother, though. It was one she hadn't expected to hear so soon after leaving Astoria. It had her body relaxing far more than any of her medications had. When a few strands of loose blonde hair were brushed from her forehead, she opened her eyes and was greeted with two kind smiles.

"Doc? Liv? What are you doing here?" Felicity murmured, turning her head so she was facing them.

"We heard about what happened on the news," Doc replied. "Liv couldn't sit back anymore. She said we needed to get here as soon as possible to see you guys so here we are."

"It's nice to see you too," Felicity said as a smile graced her lips. And she was grateful that they had come because Oliver and Thea needed as much support as they could get.

Liv squeezed her hand before patting her other one on top of it. "We've been running between your room and Oliver's for the past hour. The nurses just took him for more tests," she said. "You've heard what's happened, right?"

"Yeah, I know…" Felicity answered. "He's in a coma and…"

"No, sweetie, he opened his eyes just a little while ago!" Liv excitedly replied, her face lighting up with another shining smile.

"What?!" Felicity sat up then quickly regretted it as the pain from her left shoulder shot through her. With a strangled groan, she lay back down against the soft pillows and just stared at Liv. "He's… He's… awake?" Her voice cracked as the gravity of the news finally hit her. Oliver had woken up; he'd opened his eyes.

"Yes, that's why the nurses needed to take him for tests," Liv said. "They're also calling him a hero, you know." Felicity cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "That's right. He's all over the news for saving that boy, Roy… Thea's boyfriend, right? And for saving you, too."

"Wha… Me?" Felicity couldn't fathom how anyone knew what had happened in that building. It was only between her, Thea, Roy and Diggle. As she tried to figure out how that information got out to the public, Liv continued talking.

"Yes. They haven't stopped saying good things about him all day. It's a wonderful change from all the awful things they'd been saying this past week about the entire Queen family. I told you Oliver had a good heart."

"I've always known," Felicity softly replied, turning her head towards the door again. The smile that crept onto her face was one of not just relief, but joy as well. Now, more than ever, she needed to see him, but she knew it would probably be a while before the tests were completed, so she sat back and chatted idly with Liv and Doc for the next half hour.

When Thea came bounding in, a bright smile present over her pale pink lips, Felicity knew things were looking up. "So Ollie's sort of awake. He squeezed my hand when I was talking to him," she said, plopping herself down at the edge of the bed. "And he's able to breathe on his own now. It looks like he might be out of the woods."

"Liv told me he was awake. I'm so glad to hear he's doing better. Has he said anything yet?" Felicity asked, her heart suddenly beginning to race.

"No, the doctors said he's still sedated, but he should be awake in the next couple of hours," Thea answered. "That's not why I came over here. I figured you'd wanna see him now."

"I do," Felicity said, her heart leaping in her chest as her grin widened at the prospects of seeing Oliver again, this time under better circumstances.

"Then come on, Blondie! I know you wanna see your boyfriend as much as he wants to see you." It was so strange to hear that term being thrown around once more, only this time, Felicity made no qualms about it.

She and Oliver had been through a lot in the past few days. And even though it took nearly losing him to finally tell him that she loved him, Felicity knew, deep down in her heart, she was ready to take the next step in their relationship. They'd danced around it for long enough. She already knew he loved her. It was time.

Thea rolled the wheelchair over and with Doc's help, eased Felicity off the bed and into it. In mere moments they were in Oliver's room. Felicity could see Roy and Diggle standing in the shadows, but her eyes immediately flew to the bed. The chair had barely stopped moving when she scrambled to her feet. A strong pair of arms wrapped around her waist within moments, holding her steady as she hobbled forward. Glancing to her side, she found it was Diggle yet again and she gave him an appreciative smile before turning towards the man that had occupied her waking thoughts that entire day.

Oliver looked so much better than he had hours earlier. Although his skin was still ashen, some color had returned to his face. All the tubes and wires he'd been hooked up to were gone. "Hi, baby," Felicity whispered as she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips. They twitched beneath her touch. She sat up almost immediately, her grin widening until her cheeks hurt. Finding his hand, she added, "Can you open your eyes for me, Oliver?"

It took him a few tries, but when the lids fluttered open and she saw those beautiful pale blue pools staring back at her, Felicity let out the breath she'd been holding. The whole world slipped away at that moment, leaving only the two of them in it. No one else mattered as she guided his hand into her left one and took hold of it. Now that her right hand was free, she pressed her palm to his cheek and watched as he closed his eyes for a long moment before opening them again to stare up at her.

"I've missed you," Felicity murmured, stroking her thumb along his jaw. Oliver sighed and closed his eyes again. This time they stayed closed. She wanted to remain with him a little longer, but she knew he was still recovering from the anesthesia and sedation and needed sleep. "Get some rest, okay?" she whispered in his ear before brushing one more kiss to his lips. "I love you. I'll be back soon. I promise." He gently squeezed her fingers before they slipped from his hand.

"Come on, let's get you back to your room. I think you've had enough excitement for one day," Diggle said. He tightened the arm he had around her waist and guided her back to the wheelchair.

As much as Felicity wanted to stay by Oliver's side now that he'd woken up and be there when he opened his eyes again, she knew she needed her rest as well. The pain shooting through her shoulder and leg was becoming too much to handle. Before Diggle wheeled her out of the room, she took Oliver's hand one more time and brought his palm to her lips, pressing a kiss to it. "Good night," she whispered, placing it back on the bed.

The nurse was waiting with her pain medication and muscle relaxers once she got back to her room. Felicity breathed a sigh of relief as they took effect within minutes. The faster she fell asleep meant the faster she woke up and got to see Oliver again. She drifted off thinking about him.

It was probably six in the morning when she woke up again. The blinds to her window had been open slightly, letting in some of the orange and purple hues of first light. In the chair beside her bed sat Diggle, still fast asleep. Liv was on the couch curled up against Doc. Felicity figured Thea and Roy were probably in Oliver's room, asleep as well.

When she saw the wheelchair pulled up along the opposite side of her bed, it felt like an invitation to creep into the other room. Felicity glanced around quickly before deciding to make a break for it. With everyone fast asleep, it seemed like a foolish idea not to. Besides, her adventurous side was itching to come out and this was the perfect way to indulge it without being put in harm's way.

She pushed the covers aside, scooting to the edge. Before she gently slipped off the bed, Felicity made sure the sheets didn't snag on her brace. The wheelchair was already turned in her direction and all she needed to do was slide into it. With her butt firmly planted in the seat and her left leg resting comfortably in the footrest, she took the breaks off and slowly began making her way out of the room.

It took a lot of maneuvering and some fumbling, but Felicity managed to roll herself out and into the hall using her good arm and leg without so much as a squeak of the tires against the polished linoleum floor. She was glad no one had seen or heard her do it. The ramifications of getting caught didn't sit well with her. Using her tenacity and willpower, she made it across the hall and pushed open the door with only a slight bit of effort.

But the sight that awaited her when she entered Oliver's room stopped her in her tracks. Felicity glanced up to find a brunette other than Thea occupying the chair beside his bed. Her heart felt like it had been torn from her chest as she stared at the woman. She was perched at the edge of the seat, her hand wrapped around Oliver's as she spoke so softly that only he could hear her. His Laurel; gorgeous Laurel, the only woman he talked about with reverence. Even though they'd had this conversation back at the cottage, Felicity had a feeling that things would be different once they returned to Starling City and he saw Laurel again. After all, she was the reason he'd survived five years of hell on a supposedly deserted island.

She wanted to turn around and run; go back to her room and curl up in her bed wishing she hadn't decided to go with this stupid plan of hers. Tears were already forming at the corners of her eyes as she tried unsuccessfully to go out the way she came. Laurel had already spotted her, thought. Their eyes locked, blue on blue, and Felicity swallowed thickly unable to figure out what to say now that she'd been discovered.

It was the emotions she saw in Laurel's eyes that kept her pinned to where she sat in the wheelchair. They were full of sadness and reservation. Grief and regret were the other two big players she saw in those azure pools. Whatever she'd been telling Oliver, Felicity knew it probably had to do with Tommy's death.

What she hadn't realized until that moment was that Oliver had been responding to her. A pang of jealousy ripped through Felicity as her gaze fell away from Laurel and into her lap. Even the clicking of heels didn't snap her out of the pain she currently felt. It wasn't until a delicate hand fell on her shoulder that her head shot up.

Laurel was staring down at her, a sad smile crossing her lips. "Felicity, right?" she asked. All Felicity could do was nod. She didn't trust her voice at that moment. "Your name was the first thing Oliver said when he woke up. He's been asking for you all morning," Laurel added. "He wasn't very happy when he saw me instead."

That was definitely the last thing Felicity expected to hear. Her eyes shifted past the beautiful brunette and locked with Oliver's. The warmest and most beautiful smile she'd ever seen turned up the edges of his lips making her heart melt instantly. She forgot about the insecurities she'd felt earlier. All she could do was stare at him, her heart doing summersaults in her chest when her name left his lips.

"Felicity," he breathed, soft and low. She rose to her feet, not giving a damn that her leg was broken, and began to hobble towards the bed. A gentle arm slipped around her waist. Felicity glanced to the side and found it was Laurel. As strange as it felt having Oliver's ex-girlfriend helping her walk to him, she was grateful.

They stopped at the side of his bed and Felicity turned around, whispering, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Laurel replied. She gave Felicity's shoulder a squeeze and added, "Take care of Ollie. He's been through a lot."

"I know," Felicity nodded. With a small smile, Laurel stepped away giving them their privacy. Turning towards him, tears of joy and relief sprang from Felicity's eyes as she whispered, "Oliver." She leaned down, wrapping her arms around his neck and cried, "You're okay."

His left hand came up to stroke away her tears. "Yeah, I'm okay," Oliver reassured her. He buried his face in the disheveled waves of her blonde hair, arms banding tightly around her waist to hold her as close as possible. Before Felicity knew it, she was hauled into bed beside him and nestled against his chest. Although it hurt to do it, she reached up with her left hand and laid it over his heart. The reassuring thrum beneath her fingers allowed her to relax for the first time in days.

"I thought I was going to lose you," Felicity murmured as he continued to brush the tears away from her cheeks.

"You're not going to lose me," Oliver replied. "Not now, not ever."

The lump in her throat returned. Felicity raised herself up slightly on her elbow and looked down at him as he smiled up at her with that knowing smile. "You… you heard me?" she uttered in disbelief.

Cupping her cheek, he answered, "You brought me back." Oliver ran his thumb across her jaw as he locked eyes with her again. "I was ready to give up. Then I heard your voice and everything you said. When you put my hand over your heart, I knew I couldn't let you down again. So I fought. I didn't want that to be the last time I heard you tell me you loved me either."

Without a moment of hesitation, Felicity's lips crashed into his. "I love you so much," she murmured between kisses. Their little make out session was cut short when her hand accidentally pressed a little too hard against his chest. Oliver hissed in response and she pulled away immediately. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized, lying back down on the bed beside him.

"We can never catch a break, can we?" he joked, that warm smile still lighting up his face.

"One of these days, Queen," Felicity replied. She nestled her head beneath his chin again, and her hand came to rest over his heart once more. His fingers slipped over hers until their hands twined together.

When she yawned, Oliver gently pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips. "Go to sleep," he whispered into her hair. Felicity hummed her response and closed her eyes. Placing a soft kiss to her temple, he added, "I love you."

"Love you too," Felicity mumbled. She drifted off feeling safe and warm for the first time in what felt like ages.


	18. Coming Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FF.net really screwed me over, so I will be posting fics here exclusively from now on. Just thought I'd let y'all know.
> 
> BTW, there may be one more chapter left of this story, so be on the lookout for that!

It didn't take much to rouse Felicity from her slumber later that morning. The panic-stricken voices at the door had her cracking open blurry blue eyes to find Diggle, Thea and Doc all standing at the threshold. Looking up at Oliver, she found him to be awake, the angry look in his eyes pointed towards the trio softly talking nearby.

Felicity yawned before snuggling closer to his warmth. She nuzzled her nose against his neck then pressed a soft kiss just below his jaw. Oliver's hand came up to stroke her cheek as he kissed her forehead. It was the first time she'd actually noticed the splint around it, the soft edges of the gauze tickling her skin. "Good morning," he whispered against her ear.

"Morning," Felicity mumbled. "What's going on?"

"You've been a very naughty girl, Miss Smoak," Oliver chuckled. She felt his chest rumble beneath her and smiled. "You snuck out of your room, it seems, and they're not very happy about it."

"And I'd do it again if it meant falling asleep in your arms," she replied. "I know you'd do the same thing if you were me, so don't even think about calling me naughty, unless there were other non-plutonic circumstances involved."

He locked eyes with her as a smile crept onto his face. "I'm holding you to that," Oliver said, his voice low and gravely. She caught a glimpse of the desire that simmered in those darkening blue pools.

"As soon as we're both better, I promise to be as naughty as you'd like me to be," Felicity murmured before reaching up to capture his lips for a searing kiss.

"Seriously, Blondie?! We've had this conversation. You two need to get a room," Thea's voice seemingly came out of nowhere. Felicity pried her lips away from Oliver's, her cheeks flushing pink as she tried to hide her embarrassment for being caught again.

Above her, she heard Oliver reply, "I have one… You're all in it." She snorted, hiding her face against his neck to keep from bursting out in a fit of laughter. Felicity didn't have to look to see the scowl present on Thea's face. She could feel it boring into the back of her head. "If you guys don't mind, I'd like to spend some quality time with my girlfriend."

Felicity's breath caught in her throat. Had Oliver really just called her that? Raising her head to stare down at him with uncertainty, she caught his soft smile and the truth reflecting back at her in his eyes. "Girlfriend?" she softly whispered, unable to trust her voice.

"You're looking at me like I've grown two heads," Oliver joked. "Yes, girlfriend, unless you want me to take you out on a date first."

Felicity didn't hesitate. She leaned in and captured his lips for another kiss. From behind her, she could hear Thea moan, "Ew! I am so going to need therapy after this…" Then the door clicked shut and they were alone.

"I wouldn't mind a date, but it's not necessary because you've already told me you love me," Felicity replied.

"And I do love you, very, very much," he whispered, pulling her in for another kiss. "You're the best thing that's happened to me, Felicity Smoak."

"You're the best thing that's happened to me, Oliver Queen," she said, leaning down for one more kiss. With her weight resting on her right side, Felicity drew her left hand up to stroke his face, ignoring the protest from her shoulder. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her palm. "I love you so much. I can't wait to get out of here and spend however long it takes to recover just being with you."

"Then stay with me at the mansion," Oliver practically begged. He gave her the saddest puppy dog eyes she'd ever seen and her heart instantly melted. "You'll have anything and everything you need."

"Even you?" Felicity couldn't help but ask. He had a penchant for being just as sneaky as she'd been that morning.

"I promise not to leave the bed if you're still in it," he vowed, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

Felicity smiled and replied, "Then you've got yourself a deal, Mr. Queen." She nestled her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes. There was no place she wanted to be than right here, right now.

Two days later, Felicity was released from the hospital. Although Oliver was stuck there for another week, she stayed the entire time, crawling into bed beside him every night and waking up with his arms around her every morning. Laurel had stopped by the day after Felicity's release to let them know the date and time for Tommy's funeral had been set for the following morning. That hadn't been the easiest news to swallow considering Oliver was in no shape to leave the hospital yet. He wanted to be there more than anything, but no amount of bribing the doctors and nurses would suffice for an early release.

The heartbreaking look in his eyes when he woke up the next morning had Felicity wrapped around him like a safety blanket. She made sure to stay within arm's reach just in case he needed her. At noon, after the nurse had come in with medications and finished the bandage change, she crawled into bed beside Oliver. Wrapping her arms around him as best she could, the tears began to flow.

Even Felicity couldn't help joining him. Oliver's pain had become her pain long ago and today she was going to do her best to comfort him. They cried together until the pain killers kicked in and he fell asleep, his head resting in the crook of her neck. She kissed his cheek and wiped away the last of his tears before brushing away her own. Within minutes, she'd fallen asleep as well, her fingers tangled in the short strands of his hair peeking out from beneath the bandage around his head.

Almost a week later, Oliver was allowed to go home. They'd spoken in length about what Tommy's death meant to him and his mission and their team. Although Felicity wanted nothing more than to get back to what they'd been doing, she respected Oliver's wishes to take a break for a little while. She knew his heart wasn't in it anymore. Hearing that Tommy had called him a murderer before he died had a way of breaking one's spirit. But Felicity knew with time, his heart would heal and that things would change. She had faith in him.

Thea stopped by that morning to drop off some clothes and with news that one of the guest rooms on the first floor of the mansion was ready whenever they were. When the nurse came in with Oliver's discharge papers, Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. They could finally put this chapter of their lives behind them. She helped him change into the sweats and t-shirt Thea had brought to the best of her ability before they were whisked away to the underground parking lot where Diggle waited with the car. It was much easier than trying to go through the front entrance and being assaulted by reporters.

The ride had been quiet with Oliver using her shoulder as a pillow and falling asleep well before they got to the mansion. Felicity didn't dare move. She stayed still, her head coming to rest against his as he slept. There was something about this peace she enjoyed. She knew it had everything to do with the fact that they were alive and together and finally happy.

When they pulled up to the front door of the mansion, there were no longer any protesters at the gates screaming for justice. All was calm and quiet. Felicity pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and whispered, "Hey, sweetie, we're home." It was an odd thing to come out of her mouth, but she knew wherever Oliver was, she'd find a home there too.

They were taken to a room to the right just down the hall of the grand staircase. Felicity hadn't had much time to really look around and get a feel for the place before she was being wheeled into their room.  _Their room._  She could get used to that. Doc was waiting inside with their medications and to check on Oliver's bandages.

As Felicity changed in the overly opulent bathroom, she took a moment to get her bearings. She was still trying to get used to the idea that she and Oliver would be living together for the next few months, but the thought didn't scare her as much as she thought it would. Actually, she felt more comfortable knowing he'd be there beside her just in case her nightmares came back.

When she hobbled back into the bedroom on crutches, Oliver had already crawled under the sheets and was waiting for her, his head snapping up when he heard the bathroom door open. She had changed out of her yoga pants and t-shirt and into sweats and a zip up hoodie, her sling lying on over top and the splint around her leg hidden by her pants. Slipping beneath the covers so she lay beside him, Felicity let her head fall to the pillow before scooting even closer. With her body now pressed against his, she let out a sigh and closed her eyes. Warm, safe and relaxed, she gave in to sleep almost immediately.

This became their routine for the next month. The medications they'd been put on to manage their pain would leave them too exhausted to do much more than just cuddle even though there were days where sleep didn't come easy and they had time to talk to each other. Those were the days that stuck out in Felicity's mind. Oliver was very forthcoming with information in those rare unguarded moments.

One by one, he told her how he'd gotten each of his many scars. And with every story, her heart would clench in her chest as she listened to him recount the memories with vivid detail. There were several occasions where she'd begun to cry and he'd taken her face in his hands and kissed away her tears. "It's okay," he would whisper, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I'm here. I'm okay now." And she would kiss him, reassure him that she understood but it still broke her heart that he'd been through so much.

Felicity shared a few of her own painful stories from childhood and found that they upset him just as much as the stories of his scars upset her. But it gave them a much better appreciation for each other and deepened their trust in one another. Knowing what they'd been through seemed to cement their relationship to the point where Felicity knew there would be no turning back. She loved Oliver so deeply that not even death itself could break the bond they'd created.

Slowly but surely, their injuries healed. With physical therapy and a lot of determination, Oliver seemed to heal much faster than Felicity had. He was on his feet within six weeks while she remained bed-ridden, although now with a laptop and (another) new phone. Remotely accessing the QC servers and fixing what she could from bed, the rest of her minions in the IT department were left to their own devices and she hoped they weren't causing problems she would have to fix upon her return.

The Verdant servers were still offline, though, something she was glad for. Diggle had been back and forth between the house and the club the entire time, overseeing the construction crews that were remodeling the place. Felicity had made a few modifications to the lair and had given him the plans without Oliver's knowledge. It was a secret she didn't plan on divulging until she was sure he was ready to step back into the suit. For now, she was satisfied to be doing something that would keep her mind off her pain and the inability to get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time.

During week seven, Felicity was finally given the go ahead to start walking around, albeit with the assistance of a cane. As much as she despised the thing, she was happy to be on her feet again. At first she could only make it to the bathroom, but after a couple of days, she ventured out of their room and began to explore the first floor of the mansion while Oliver was at the office trying to figure out how to save the company.

With Moira in jail paying for her involvement with what happened in the Glades, the company had fallen prey to a hostile takeover, something Oliver tried to stop to the best of his ability. When he returned that evening, Felicity had been sitting in bed watching reruns of Big Bang Theory while munching on a bowl of fruit Raisa had brought up not even a few minutes earlier.

"Hey, babe," she greeted him with a cheery smile that would normally cut through his brooding and earn her one from him, but today Oliver looked to be in one of his darker moods. Felicity sat up immediately, setting her fruit bowl on the nightstand beside the bed and standing up to meet him near the door. "Is everything okay with the company?" she tentatively asked as she reached out to place her hands against his forearms. They tensed beneath her touch.

Something was going on and when she glanced up to meet his eyes, Oliver looked away. "Hey, what's wrong?" Felicity asked, laying her right hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, burrowing into her palm before turning his head to place a soft kiss against it.

"It's just… been a really long day," Oliver softly replied. The pain present in his eyes when he opened them again took her by surprise.

"You wanna talk about it?" Felicity wasn't letting up. She couldn't let Oliver stew like this. It was unhealthy for him. All she wanted to do was ease some of his suffering, but he was shutting down like he used to.

"Not really," he said, shedding his fitted black suit jacket and letting it fall haphazardly onto a chair beside the bed. He sat down on the mattress, kicking off his only shoe, the other foot still encased in a heavy black splint hidden beneath his pants, before pulling at his tie. It was dropped to the floor at his feet as Felicity maneuvered herself so she was standing between his knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against his shoulder then let out a deep sigh.

"I don't like seeing you like this," she murmured into the crisp white linen shirt. "It scares me."

His arms banded around her back, pulling her flush against his chest. "I'm sorry," Oliver's voice ghosted over her ear. Felicity pulled back and took his face in her hands, her thumbs softly stroking his cheekbones as she waited for him to continue. Although she knew fear had always been the best way to get him to open up, she hated that there was a need to use it at all. One day she hoped it wouldn't have to be like this; that he would open up to her without provocation.

"It's been two months since…" There was no need for Oliver to continue. Felicity knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Oh, sweetie," she breathed, wrapping her arms around him once more. Her heart went out to him.

"I just… I miss him… And I… I've been a terrible friend. I haven't even…" Oliver's voice trailed off as he sucked in a ragged breath trying to hold back his tears. She held him close, her fingers stroking through his hair in an attempt to calm him, but the sadness flowed in waves. Peppering his forehead with kisses, she tightened her arms around his neck.

"It's okay," Felicity whispered. "You're not a terrible friend. You're a wonderful friend, one anybody would be lucky to have." Her lips trailed along his temple and over his cheek until she reached his. The kiss was soft and exploratory, meant to gauge how receptive Oliver was to her affections. When he barely kissed back, she knew his self-loathing had kicked in and it would take a lot more effort on her part to ease his suffering.

"Oliver, listen to me," she pleaded, her eyes searching the depths of the shattered blue orbs staring back at her with such bleakness, her heart leapt into her throat. "You've been through so much these past few months. No one, not even Tommy, would be angry at you for not visiting his grave. You've endured your mother's betrayal, you've had to deal with injuries that nearly killed you, and on top of all that, now you have to deal with trying to save your family's company."

"That's still not an excuse," Oliver barely whispered back. "I didn't even go to his funeral."

"Because you couldn't go," Felicity reminded him. "You were recovering from a punctured lung and a cracked skull." He simply shook his head and avoided making eye contact with her. "Oliver, please don't do this to yourself. Life is a messy, complicated thing. Tommy knows you loved him. He knows if you hadn't been holed up in a hospital room, you would have gone to his funeral. You shouldn't blame yourself for the things you can't control."

"But it's been two months…"

"Two months full of hell on earth," she interrupted before he had a chance to continue down this path of self-deprecation. "I'm begging you, Oliver. I can't watch you self destruct. I won't let you. I love you too much to do that." Tears sprang from Felicity's eyes as her voice broke. He was already reaching up, his hands cupping her cheeks to wipe them away.

Pressing his forehead to hers, Oliver replied, "I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do," Felicity said with conviction. "You deserve me and my love and forgiveness for whatever sins you think you've committed. I forgive you, Oliver. I will always forgive you." And with that, she pressed her lips to his once more, and this time he kissed back.

"I love you," he murmured against them. "I love you so much." His mouth traveled down her chin and along the pale column of her neck until he reached her collarbone. Soft kisses drifted along her skin making her shudder. Felicity closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into him as his hands fell to her hips. They played along the silk fabric of the robe she was wearing, tugging at the tie that cinched it closed until the knot came loose.

From that point on, there was no stopping the heat that pooled low in her belly. She'd longed to be able to do this again. Her dreams of late revolved around Oliver making love to her in this very bed. Each soft kiss he placed against her skin sent little jolts of electricity through her body.

A soft moan escaped her mouth when his hands dipped beneath the silken fabric. Calloused fingers splayed over her abdomen pushing the robe away from her body until it barely clung to the curves of her breasts.

Soft lips trailed from her collarbone to the hollow of her neck, pausing there for a moment before continuing their downward trek while his hands moved up. When they brushed the bottom of her breasts, Felicity moaned again.

But Oliver didn't remain there for long. Instead of continuing their upward journey, his hands slid to her back, pulling her closer to him while the silk slipped open. It fell away from her breasts leaving them bare for his lips as they moved along the slope until one pert nipple entered his mouth. She mewled, her entire body set ablaze with lust and desire.

"Oliver…" His name fell from her lips in a low whisper. She arched her back, further pressing her breast to his mouth. He suckled and laved it with his skilled tongue until her body could barely take it anymore. That was when he moved to the other breast, lavishing it with the same affection as the first one.

Felicity reached out, her hands falling to his linen clad shoulders. The desperate need to feel his warm skin beneath her touch sent her fingers to his collar, popping open the first button of his shirt before moving downward. Deft fingers made quick work of the next three as he finally released her breast from his mouth. His kisses trailed back up until their lips met and she dipped her hands beneath the crisp white edges of his shirt, her palms landing on the hard planes of his chest.

It didn't take more than a gentle push to put Oliver on his back. As he gazed up at her, pale blue eyes smoldering with unbridled lust, Felicity slipped off the robe leaving her in only a pair of pink cotton boy shorts. Her fingers returned to the task of popping open the last buttons of his shirt before tugging it gently from where it was tucked into his pants. When they ran up his sides, he groaned, his eyes fluttering closed until her hands reached his shoulders.

The shirt was shrugged off then left to fall to the floor at their feet. Felicity kneeled down between his legs, her fingers finding the buckle of his belt and undoing that as well. His pants followed suit. She dragged the expensive Italian fabric down his muscular hips as he lifted them off the bed to help her. They were now both only clad in underwear and splints as she remained on her knees in front of him.

There was one thing she'd longed to do for a while now. Skimming her fingers along the taught muscles of his thighs, Felicity leaned forward, her lips pressing open mouth kisses to his abdomen. His fingers rifled through her hair encouragingly and she gazed up to meet blazing blue eyes and a gentle smile. She smiled back before laying more soft kisses along the edge of his black briefs. Delicate fingers played along the lines of his hipbones eliciting a groan from the man beneath her. She smiled, her eyes flicking up to watch as his head rolled back.

Kissing her way across the tight cotton fabric, Felicity felt him shiver with anticipation as her lips roamed over his hardening cock. As much as she wanted to strip him of his underwear, she restrained herself, instead drawing out the foreplay when his fingers tensed in her hair. A glance up found him clinging tightly to the bed sheets. He was literally in the palm of her hands, begging her with grunts and moans.

Felicity took pity on him. Her fingers dipped beneath the elastic band and pulled down the tight fabric until he was finally free. Wrapping them around the base, her tongue darted out from between her lips and she tentatively licked her way up the shaft until she was at his tip.

"Felicity," she heard him whisper above her, his voice strained and needy. A smile curled her lips and she did it again garnering the same reaction. When her lips closed around the head, the shuddering groan that reverberated through the room turned her smile into an impish grin.

Inching her way down his cock until he hit the back of her throat, Felicity hollowed out her cheeks, sucking gently as she came back up. His hips bucked at the sensation and she quickly drew back giggling. She repeated the action a couple more times until his breathing became ragged and he pulled her hair to stop her.

"You weren't kidding," Oliver panted as she sat back on her heels.

The brace around her left leg was really becoming a pain now. It seemed to be more of a hindrance than being helpful. Although the doctors had told her not to take it off unless she was taking a shower, tonight would be the exception to the rule.

"About what?" Felicity teased, the knowing grin widening on her face as she pulled at the Velcro straps and slipped the brace off her leg.

"About being a naughty girl."

She giggled again before blazing a trail of kisses from his navel to his lips. "I aim to please," she whispered.

"And please you do," he complimented with a lopsided grin. Their lips met for another series of languid kisses. His hands crept down her body until they reached the curve of her bottom. One hand began to knead the soft cotton clad flesh while the other swept between their bodies to the front of her boy shorts and dipped below the fabric.

It was Felicity's turn to groan when his fingers came into contact with her hot, slippery folds. She moaned into his mouth as they ran along her slit, coaxing her legs to open involuntarily. It was more than enough to give him access to her clit, which he flicked with his forefinger.

"Oliver!" she cried his name, grinding her hips against his hand in an attempt to get him to stroke her harder. Two months of pent of sexual frustration had Felicity doing things she wouldn't normally do. He was accommodating, though. It seemed Oliver felt the same way.

His fingers stroked strong circles against her clit and she felt the immediate pull of her orgasm. Felicity buried her face in the crook of his neck, her teeth nipping and biting the soft flesh. As he stroked harder, her hips rocked against his hand until the undeniable quivering began between her legs. Oliver slowed to a halt then, tugging away the pink cotton until she was completely naked above him.

Felicity whimpered her annoyance but didn't have much time to protest as she was flipped onto her back. His fingers were replaced with his mouth and immediately she cried out in response. Just as he had done with her breasts, his skillful tongue began its barrage on her clit, rolling around it as his hands intertwined with hers. She held on tight, her body reaching the edge quickly.

Her legs began to shake once more as the heat from her orgasm built surely and steadily. There was only so much more she could take before his name came spilling from her lips and her back arched upward. Her body exploded with such force that the wind was knocked from her lungs. Oliver held her tight, though, kissing his way back up to her lips when the quivering subsided.

Their eyes met and it took her breath away. Beneath the lust and desire she saw in those deep blue pools Felicity found the true depth of his love for her. She reached up, her hand coming to rest against his cheek. In a move that always made her heart flutter, he turned his head and kissed her palm. "I love you," Oliver murmured against her hand.

"I love you too," Felicity whispered back, the raw emotions permeating her voice as she spoke.

His hands came up to tangle in her hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for several delicate kisses. A sigh parted her lips when his right hand slowly moved down the side of her face, over her shoulder and along her ribcage until it came to rest against her hip. Her legs wrapped around his waist seemingly at their own will as his tongue slipped into her mouth and deepened the kiss.

His other hand remained tangled in her hair, thumb stroking over her forehead and temple as his kisses moved from her mouth to her ear. "You mean the world to me," Oliver said before pulling back slightly so he could look down at her.

Felicity smiled. "And you mean the world to me."

"I have something for you," he replied, pulling away from her to reach into the nightstand. She instantly missed his warmth, but he was back in her arms again within seconds. Gasping when Oliver presented her with a small blue velvet box, Felicity gave him a questioning gaze.

"You're not…?" Her heart felt like it was caught in her throat. They hadn't even talked about marriage, let alone their future, so she hoped he wasn't popping the question.

"No, I'm not proposing," Oliver said with a soft smile. "Although you could consider this to be equally important." She looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. "Just open it." Flicking the top up, she found the box to contain a silver key. Another confused glance was shot in his direction and he replied, "I've wanted to ask you this for a while now, because we've basically been living together for the last few months… I want you to move in with me."

Felicity opened and closed her mouth several times and found that he'd rendered her speechless. Her eyes flicked between Oliver and the key as her heart thundered in her chest.

"So, is that a yes?" he tentatively asked, the hope so clear in his eyes that she couldn't help but stare at him for a few moments.

"You… you want me to move in here… with you?" Felicity had to repeat the words in order to understand them correctly.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking you to do," Oliver replied, still grinning at her.

Taking the key out of the box, Felicity discovered it was attached to a small silver keychain in the shape of an arrow piercing through a heart. She looked up at Oliver again, this time with a bright smile on her face and leaned forward to kiss him. "Yes," she whispered before pulling him in for a searing kiss.

His arms were around her waist in seconds, pulling her to his chest as he kissed back with equal intensity. "I love you," Felicity murmured against his lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Oliver replied, holding her face in his hands. "Now can I  _please_  make love to you like I've wanted to ever since you crawled into my hospital bed?"

Felicity giggled, "Yes!" She threw her arms around his neck, pulling his lips to hers and kissing him. He nestled himself between her legs, his cock coming to rest against her lower abdomen as her right hand trailed down between their bodies and took hold of him. Positioning him at her entrance, she angled her hips up slightly. When he thrust into her, a shuddering groan escaped her lips, echoing through the room as her head rolled back against the rumpled sheets.

Dear god he felt incredible buried to the hilt inside her. All the while his lips planted kisses across her skin. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in until she didn't know where he ended and she began. Her fingers raked down his back as he pulled out then thrust back in slowly. When his teeth sank into the soft flesh just about her left breast, his name came spilling from her lips.

"Oliver!" she cried out, nails digging crescents into his lower back as their bodies moved in unison. He sat up grabbing her hips for better leverage, but his eyes never left hers. They continued gazing at each other as their bodies dipped and swayed, the beautiful heat building between them.

He thrust into her harder and faster until they were both sucking in ragged breaths. Felicity felt her orgasm overtake her within seconds, a loud, gasping cry escaping her lips as he continued to pound into her with fervor. But Oliver still had plenty of stamina left. He slowed his movements to a halt before rolling onto his back so she was now lying across his chest.

"Ready for round two?" he panted with a sly grin on his face.

"Oh, my god, Oliver, how do you have the energy?" Felicity replied, sucking in several ragged breaths before bracing her hands on his chest and sitting up. She moaned almost instantly from the way his cock pressed against her clit.

"Does it matter?" he chuckled, taking hold of her hips once more. His hands trailed up her abdomen until they were cupping her breasts.

"Fuck it," she muttered, rolling her hips as a form of revenge against him. It worked and a groan escaped his lips. Felicity leaned down until their chests were flush against each other before capturing his mouth for another kiss. "You're doing all the work," she added when their lips parted.

"I'm not complaining," Oliver replied before grabbing hold of her hips once more and lifting them. Holding them in place, he thrust up into her and she cried out. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as he whispered into her ear, "Hold onto me tight."

A strangled laugh escaped Felicity's lips. "These were the exact circumstances I was hoping you'd say those words," she said, capturing his mouth for yet another kiss. They continued kissing as his thrusts increased with vigor until he brought her to the edge again. This time, though, he was also close to release. She could tell by the frantic pace of his hips slamming into hers.

"Come with me, Oliver," she murmured against his lips. With one final, almost violent thrust, they both came careening over the edge. Felicity collapsed on top of his chest, her body drained of its energy as her head rolled into the crook of his neck. His hand came up to stroke back the wet strands of blonde hair that stuck to her face.

"I love you," Oliver whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before throwing the blanket over their exhausted bodies.

"I love you," Felicity murmured into his neck before closing her eyes.

Sleep came easily that night. She didn't even wake up for her medications as she usually did around three. That was a feat in and of itself. When her eyes fluttered open the next morning, Felicity found it to be close to six. She was still sprawled out over Oliver's chest, his soft breaths ruffling through her hair as he slept peacefully beneath her.

Last night couldn't have been more perfect. From the love making to giving her a key to the mansion, it all felt like a sublime dream she still hadn't awoken from. But this  _was_  her life, and Felicity couldn't help the smile that crawled onto her lips when she glanced over at the nightstand and found the silver key glittering in the early morning sun that peeked through the curtains.

This was a love Felicity had never known before. She felt it from the top of her head to the tips of her toes and straight into her soul. It made her heart flutter in her chest just thinking about Oliver. She knew she was in deep, and she didn't care. The only thing she cared about was him and making him just as happy as she was. It was a concerted effort, but it was worth it to see a smile on his face. Now, how was she going to return the favor?

The idea hit Felicity well before she even got out of bed that morning. Oliver continued to sleep soundly as she got up and headed out of the room being extremely careful not to wake him while she slipped on her robe then grabbed her cane before heading out the door. She knew she should put her brace back on, but her leg didn't hurt that much and she was using the cane to get around so it was pointless in her mind.

The rest of the house was quiet until she reached the kitchen. That's where she found Raisa fixing breakfast and Diggle sitting at the small table in the corner reading the paper.

"Good morning," Felicity cheerily greeted them as she plopped herself down in one of the empty chairs.

"Morning," Diggle replied without looking up from his paper.

"Good morning, Miss Felicity," Raisa said from her post in front of the stove.

"So, Dig… I was hoping you'd do me a favor today," Felicity began without continuing the pleasantries.

When he put down his paper, she could see the skeptical look in his eyes. "What is it?" he slowly asked, almost glaring at her. Felicity had asked some pretty big favors from him in the past several weeks, from picking up medication refills to buying her tampons. This was far from the horror she'd subjected Diggle to. If anything, it was the exact opposite.

"Whatever you do, don't take Oliver to the office this morning. We're going somewhere else, somewhere he should have gone a long time ago," Felicity answered, and he knew exactly what she was talking about. Giving her a knowing glance, Diggle nodded his agreement and she hobbled back to her room finding Oliver still out cold.

The clock on her phone read 6:57am. His alarm was set to go off at seven. With a sigh, she crawled back into bed and nestled herself beside him. Soft kisses were pressed to his forehead and temple before traveling down across his cheek to his lips. When Oliver sighed and she heard the slight rumble in his chest, Felicity knew he was awake. She kissed him again and this time he kissed back. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against his body.

"This is a much better way to wake up than with an alarm," he murmured against her lips just as his phone went off. Oliver reached over and shut down the offending device before returning his focus to kissing her.

"I know, right?" Felicity replied with a giggle when his lips found their way to just behind her ear. "So, are you feeling better?"

"Much," Oliver said as he gave her that glorious smile that he reserved only for her.

"Good." She placed one last lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away and getting out of bed. "Because we need to get ready for work."

"What do you mean 'we'?" Oliver pinned her with a look that said he wasn't about to let her leave the house, but she returned it with a glare of her own.

"Babe, I've been stuck in this room for almost two months. I need to get out of here before I go stir crazy! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love exploring the mansion and the library has certainly been a great find, but I can only read so many books! Besides, it'll only be for a few hours and I promise Dig can take me home if I get too tired," Felicity rambled as she rummaged through the closet to pull out a knee length emerald green cotton dress that would cling to her curves along with a fitted black jacket and one black ballet flat. The medical boot prevented her from wearing the other.

His exasperated sigh had her turning around and giving him a toothy grin. "You can help me wash my hair." She wasn't below bribing him with something that could lead to more sex. After all, last night had been the first time they'd done it since leaving Astoria and she wouldn't mind a little more fun in the shower that morning if he was so inclined to join her.

Oliver was already behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist before slipping beneath the silken robe to find the bare skin of her abdomen. A shudder immediately ran through her as she leaned into him. "If I did that," he throatily whispered against her ear before nipping the shell, "We might never leave the house."

Biting her lower lip to stifle a moan when his hands traveled up to cup her breasts and give them a light squeeze, Felicity pushed off his chest and tightened the cord around her waist. "Tonight" she said, turning around to give him a sly smile.

"Is that a promise?" Oliver called out to her before she disappeared into the bathroom.

"What do you think?" Felicity shouted as the door closed.

Half an hour later she was dressed and ready, her hair in a wet ponytail with only the barest minimum of makeup on her face. There was no need to look flashy today. Felicity wanted to be comfortable, especially with where they'd be stopping first.

They met in the foyer. Oliver had headed upstairs to his old room to get ready, letting her have some time alone before they left the house. She was excited to finally get back out into the world, even though it would only be for a little while. Some fresh air and sunshine were sorely needed.

When Felicity laid eyes on him, he was dressed in charcoal colored Italian suit that brought out the blue in his eyes. She could see just a tiny bit of the braces that circled his right arm and leg, but it was evident in the way he stood that he was still in a bit of discomfort. She didn't blame him. Her leg was slightly achy from last night as well.

Oliver wasn't a man to just take things lying down, though. He was a man of action. Having his ability to act quickly taken away irritated him to no end. But it would only be another week or so before the doctors allowed him to get rid of the last two things hindering him from his sense of normalcy. It was something Felicity hoped would bring him out of his funk a little more.

"Are you ready to go?" Oliver asked, knocking her out of her musings.

"Ready!" Felicity cheerily replied as she looped her arm around his and they walked out to the waiting car.

It wasn't long before they were on the road headed towards the city. Only when Diggle took a left instead of a right once they got to their exit did Oliver notice they were headed in the wrong direction. "Where are we going?" he immediately asked, his eyes cutting over to Diggle's through the rearview mirror.

"You'll see," Felicity replied with a gentle smile.

"Felicity…" There was a slight warning to Oliver's tone, but she chose to ignore it, instead slipping her hand into his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered. He searched her eyes for several long moments before silently nodding his head. Squeezing his hand again, she said, "Okay, we're almost here."

Oliver glanced out the window and saw where they'd ended up. Felicity could feel him tense beside her as they passed through the cemetery gates. Within moments they pulled up to a more secluded section surrounded by tall oak trees. Diggle stopped the car and got out so they had a few moments to themselves.

"Work, huh?" Oliver glared at her, but she continued to smile at him unaffected.

"Last night, you really frightened me when you started to shut down. I know Tommy's death is a very sensitive topic. And I know how much you've needed to come see him, so I figured today would probably be a good day to do so," Felicity replied before biting down on her lip when he didn't respond. "Please don't be mad at me."

With a deep, shuddering sigh, Oliver dropped his gaze to their entwined hands. He gave her a little squeeze before those pale blue eyes settled on hers. "I'm not mad," he said softly. "I just don't know if I'm ready to do this yet."

"Of course you are." Her voice was encouraging as ever as she placed her free hand against his cheek. "But if you aren't, I'll understand. I know I shouldn't have kept this a secret…"

"No, I'm glad you brought me here," Oliver interrupted her. "You're right, I am ready. I'm just…" He sighed.

"I'll be right next to you the whole time," Felicity said as she stroked her thumb over his cheekbone.

They exited the car with Oliver getting out first in order to give Felicity a hand. She looped her arm around his using it as her support instead of the cane. That left her other hand open to take the bouquet of flowers Diggle held out to her. "Thank you," she mouth to him.

They hadn't even talked about this little detail, yet he'd gone out and done it on his own. Although they would never admit it out loud, Oliver and Diggle cared as much about each other as they cared about Felicity. Their little team was gradually growing into the small family she'd always thought of it as.

Together, Felicity and Oliver ambled towards the grassy hill upon which Tommy's grave sat beneath the shade of a single tall oak tree. The closer they got, the more tense Oliver became until she had to gently pull him the last few steps. Tangling her fingers with his once they stood in front of the reddish-brown granite headstone, Felicity gave him a few moments before stepping forward to lay the flowers at its base. When she stood back up, he moved forward to kneel down in front of it, his head hung low as his hand came to rest against the cool surface.

Felicity moved back a step or two so she could give Oliver a moment to himself. Her heart went out to him when she saw his shoulders begin to shake, but he made no move to call her back. So she stood behind him at the ready. A few whispered words floated to her ears, but she didn't understand any of them. They sounded Chinese, but she couldn't be sure.

After several long moments, Oliver finally stood up, his hands swiping the tears off his face before he returned to her side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her flush against him. "Thank you," he whispered into Felicity's hair before pressing a soft kiss to her temple. She gazed up at him with a tender, reassuring smile.

"You're welcome," Felicity whispered back, tangling her fingers with his once more as they turned to go.

They were back in the car headed to the office in no time. Oliver remained silent the entire trip, his eyes focused out the window as the buildings flew by.

Curiosity got to the best of her and Felicity asked, "What did you say to him?"

There was a long, drawn out silence as he gazed down at her. His eyes were laced with trepidation making her wish she hadn't said a word. "A lot of things," Oliver finally replied. "Mostly that I was sorry and that I hoped he could forgive me for what I'd done and who I've become."

Felicity nodded. There were still so many other questions she wanted to ask him, so many things that were whirling around in her mind. The one thing she desperately wanted to ask him was if Tommy's death had made an impact on his mission to save the city. Would he put the hood back on or was he going to hang it up?

The questions must have been raging in her eyes because the next thing she heard was, "What are you thinking?" Oliver was staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

Felicity bit her lower lip still trying to figure out how to voice what was on her mind. Finally, she decided to just say it, consequences be damned. "Do you think you'll ever be able to go back to doing what we were doing before, you know…?" She purposefully left the rest of the question unasked, seeing the way his face darkened.

"I don't know," Oliver sighed. He looked torn and on edge. She let her hand fall to his knee and gazed up at him, eyes blazing with determination.

"If being around you has taught me anything, it's that you have this uncanny ability to bounce back from things that should have killed you; surviving on an island for five years, being nearly killed by the Dark Archer, your mother's bullet, almost dying in that building collapse," Felicity said. His eyes flicked away from hers, but she brought her hand to his chin and tilted it down so they were staring at each other again.

"Oliver, I know the last time we talked about this you pretty much shut down, but you need to hear it again. You're a good person, and since we've started working together, you've only become better. I've always known you've had it in you, to become the hero this city needs. It's right here." She laid her hand against his heart as her eyes pleaded with him to believe her.

There was a long silence between them as they pulled up to a stoplight and waited for it to turn green. Finally, he covered her hand with his and smiled that beautiful, heartwarming smile that he only shared with her. "No," Oliver whispered and suddenly she felt the tears spring from her eyes. Her heart broke that he was about to throw away all the possible good he could do until he said, "It's right here."

Cupping her cheek, he brought her lips to his and kissed her as a strangled sob-turned-laugh escaped her throat. He hauled Felicity into his lap, his arms banding around her waist to hold her tightly against him. Her head dropped to Oliver's shoulder and he whispered, "Thank you for believing in me."

"I always have and I always will," Felicity murmured against his collar.

Up in the front seat, Diggle cleared his throat. "Mr. Queen, Miss Smoak, we've arrived," he said, trying his best to keep a straight face, but the half smile she saw through the rearview mirror before he exited the car wasn't lost on her.

Felicity scrambled off Oliver's lap and did her best to readjust the hemline of her dress before the door opened. Paparazzi swarmed outside the tall office building waiting for any tidbit of information he could give them about the company, his mother, or (god forbid) his love life. The realization that she was about to step out of Oliver Queen's personal vehicle and straight into the line of fire had her heart racing and her head swimming. That was the one thing she hadn't planned on when they left the house that morning and now it was coming to bite her in the ass.

Panic suddenly overcame her and Felicity clamped down on his hand, her eyes begging him to save her from this. "Hey, you've been through a lot worse. You can do this. I'll be right beside you the whole time. You trust me, don't you?" Oliver had used her own words against her, something she couldn't fault him for.

Nodding, she softly replied, "Always."

"Then let's do this." Oliver rapped his knuckles against the window to let Diggle know they were ready, but not before placing a soft kiss to her lips in an attempt to calm her racing heart. He squeezed her hand just as Diggle opened the door.

Oliver left the relative safety of the car first, smoothing out the jacket of his suit before buttoning it up and extending his hand to her. For a moment, Felicity hesitated, but she realized he was right. She had been through a lot worse than this. Surviving the earthquake was definitely at the top of that list. Besides, the paparazzi would always be on their tail from now on, so she needed to get accustomed to them. Sucking in a deep breath, she took his hand and stepped out of the car.

This was officially the beginning of Felicity Smoak's new life as Oliver Queen's girlfriend. It would take some getting used to, but considering all they'd been through together, she wouldn't have it any other way.

They'd met each other seven months ago, Oliver already a little broken. When the Glades fell, they had turned to one another for comfort and healing. Through all the pain and all the sacrifice, they'd found a way to put each other back together. This shared bond was what made them stronger as a couple than they'd ever been by themselves. It was this bond that would forever link their lives together, growing stronger each and every day, and getting them through whatever life threw at them.

Felicity smiled up at Oliver as the flashbulbs went off. Yes, this was exactly where she needed to be, standing beside the man she loved and supporting him in whatever he did. Their life together had just begun. She couldn't wait to see what the journey ahead of them would hold.


	19. Epilogue: Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys, the final chapter of an incredible story that I'm proud to call my own. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Thanks again to all my betas, from Nancy to Hopedreamlovepray to Anthfan. You guys were awesome and provided me with some great feedback, not to mention some awesome editing and additions to the story.

**Epilogue: Promises**

Two weeks after Oliver had made his decision, the rest of Felicity's stuff was moved into the mansion and her old apartment was sublet to a nice young couple with a newborn. The mixed feelings that came with giving them the keys stuck with her even as she stepped into the room she still shared with him on the first floor. At least today she had other things on her mind.

The renovations to the lair were almost complete and the surprise she'd had custom made for Oliver would be hand delivered from the manufacturer at any moment. Felicity was glad he'd ducked out early that morning to head to the office. She really wanted to give it to him later that night after dinner.

When the doorbell rang, she scrambled to it before anyone else even had a chance. Opening the door, a tall, burly young man in his early twenties stood with a large case in his hand. "Miss Felicity Smoak?" he asked, his voice deeper than she expected it to be.

"That would be me!" She sounded too excited, even in her own ears. Felicity let the young man into the foyer and guided him to the table just a few feet away. The case was set down and unlocked, the lid opened slowly to reveal the product of her toils for the past month.

"One compound bow, custom made to your specifications," he began his spiel about all its features, but Felicity had lost interest the moment she laid eyes on it. This was perfect. It was exactly as she'd asked, down to the green and black camouflage pattern that perfectly matched Oliver's suit.

When the man picked it up out of the case and handed it to her, Felicity was a little stunned to see just how light and easy the bow was to carry. "Would you like to test it out?" he asked.

"As much as I would, I'd probably kill something with it on accident, so I'm just going to wait until the person I ordered this for gets home."

"Yes, ma'am. I just need you to sign this and you're all set."

Felicity put her John Hancock next to each "x" the man indicated on the forms he'd pulled out of his breast pocket and Oliver's new bow was now in her possession. Letting the young man out, she grabbed the case and headed back to her room to stash it under the bed so Oliver wouldn't see it.

The rest of the day was spent lazing around catching up on some server issues at the office then watching whatever happened to be on TV. Felicity had already caught up on all the shows she'd neglected while helping Oliver with his missions. Now with two more weeks of medical leave left, she was looking forward to finally getting back into the swing of things even though it terrified her at the same time.

After her first brush with the paparazzi, Felicity had learned a lot about nosy reporters and how they managed to find phone numbers just as easily as she found criminals. The first one who'd called asking for the inside story on her relationship with Oliver was immediately hung up on while the rest she left to go straight to voicemail.

That had been something easy for her to fix, but then came the deluge of phone calls from her mother asking when she'd finally get to meet this rich boyfriend of hers and how they'd ended up in that collapsing building. It was a conversation Felicity dreaded but continued to avoid like the plague. She was still trying to come up with the perfect cover story for that one that didn't involve illegally hacking into phone company servers and cell towers.

The only bright side to all this was that the medical boot was officially gone along with the cane. She was a free woman once again, allowed to roam the mansion from top to bottom to her heart's content. But for the most part, Felicity stayed in her room working on side projects that involved the lair. Of the few times she had ventured out, it had been to read something in the library or grab food from the kitchen.

Thea had stopped by on several occasions to get her to go shopping with her, but Felicity had refused. She didn't want to be front page gossip fodder and with Thea Queen by her side, it was almost guaranteed the paparazzi would find some unflattering angles to photograph them from. It was bad enough trying to get her mother off her ass when it came to meeting Oliver, but having her face splashed all over the tabloids would be disastrous.

When the door to the bedroom swung open, it knocked Felicity out of her thoughts and her head shot up. Her eyes immediately met Oliver's and a warm smile appeared on her lips. "Hey, you," she said before noticing the slightly dark expression on his face. The smile he graced her with let her fears drop almost instantly knowing that his mood had changed drastically now that they were together. "How was your day?"

"I rather would have spent it in bed with you," Oliver replied, shrugging off the grey suit jacket and letting it fall to a nearby chair as he always did. Taking a seat on the bed beside her, he kicked off his shoes as Felicity crawled her way towards him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her cheek to his shoulder while her fingers worked to loosen his tie before letting it fall to the floor at his feet. She then got to work popping open the buttons of his crisp white dress shirt.

Feeling the tension slowly ebb as her hands finished their task and slipping the garment away from his body to reveal nothing but gorgeously marred flesh beneath, Felicity planted several soft kisses against the back of his neck, trailing them over his shoulder until she could go no further. "Well, you're home now and this bed has definitely been very empty without you in it," she whispered into his ear before pulling away to settle into her mountain of pillows.

"By the way, thank you for keeping your promise," Felicity added. When he looked at her slightly confused, she smiled and said, "You promised me you wouldn't leave this bed if I was still in it and you haven't. Well, at least not until I woke up."

Oliver leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I always keep my promises," he replied. "How about I keep another one?" There was a slight hint of mischief in his pale blue eyes as he stared at her.

"What promise is that?" Felicity asked. He'd made a lot of promises to her in the past few months, almost all of which he'd made good on from helping her wash her hair to spending an entire weekend watching all the "great" movies he'd missed out on while on the island.

"It wasn't exactly a promise, but I did say I'd take you out on a date," Oliver answered with an impish grin.

Felicity laughed out loud. When his gaze turned serious, she said, "What, like, tonight?"

"Yeah, why not?" he shrugged, still grinning at her as if he was the cat that got the canary.

"Well, uh, for one thing, I've barely left the bed unless it was to get something to eat or go to the bathroom. I haven't even showered yet today," she replied, hoping he didn't catch on to the fact that she was lying just a little bit about her day. "Besides, you've seen my wardrobe. I don't have that much to choose from."

Oliver rolled his eyes and seemingly chose to ignore that one glaring fact, instead saying, "I don't think Thea would mind letting you borrow something. We're not going very far so you can dress comfortably. I'll even do you a favor and go get her."

"Oliver, you really don't have to…" Felicity started to say before she was cut off.

"No, I want to." Oliver gave her that sweet puppy dog look and she was a goner.

"But…" Her attempt to argue was half hearted at best. He already knew he had her.

"Don't argue with me. Just say yes." Oliver gave her the most heart melting smile he could muster, one that Felicity couldn't say no to, so she just nodded her head.

Rolling out of bed, she got up and headed to the bathroom. Just before the door closed, Felicity heard him call out to her, "I'll be waiting for you by the stairs in an hour!" She merely smiled before shutting the door behind her.

A shower was a must today, especially since she'd been too lazy to take one in the last twenty-four hours. It had gotten easier now that her shoulder didn't hurt as bad as it had those first few weeks. True to his word, Oliver had been the one to help her wash her hair back then. Now, with most of her mobility back, she managed to do it herself even though the muscle spasms would sometimes keep her from doing a good job.

After half an hour of fussing with not just her hair, but shaving as well, Felicity exited the bathroom freshly showered and teeth brushed. On the rumpled sheets of the bed sat Thea, makeup bag in one hand and a pretty powder blue cotton sundress in the other. "Hey, Blondie!" she greeted Felicity with a bright smile.

"Hey, Speedy!" She'd adopted Oliver's nickname for his sister as a bit of retaliation for the nickname Thea had for her, but after a few weeks, they'd grown accustomed to it. Now it was almost commonplace to hear them calling each other by their nicknames. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, if you count breakfast a long time," Thea retorted with a roll of her eyes. "Come on, Oliver wants you looking adorable so I'm doing your hair and makeup. No complaining!"

Felicity had to smile at that. Hearing Oliver wanted her to look cute was enough for her. Besides, it was always nice to have a helping hand, especially with her hair. "I wasn't about to."

They headed back into the bathroom and within half an hour, all was completed. Felicity's hair flowed in golden waves along her back and her makeup had been done to bring out her natural beauty with just a pop of fuchsia on her lips. The dress fit perfectly, and paired with a white cardigan and silver ballet flats, she looked as if she'd stepped out Kate Middleton's closet.

"You look stunning," Thea said with a smile as she hooked her arm around Felicity's and led her out to the foyer where Oliver was waiting. He, too, was dressed casually in dark blue jeans and a light blue cotton dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A shiver ran down Felicity's spine when she saw him. There had always been something about a man with rolled up shirt sleeves she found sexy.

"Hey, you," Felicity said with a smile as she walked up to him.

The grin on his face was infectious. "You look absolutely gorgeous," Oliver replied as he took her hand and spun her. With her hair down in waves over her shoulders, it swayed with her as she turned. He easily caught her in his arms when she stopped and held her close. "It's been far too long since I've seen you like this."

"Like what?" Felicity asked, grinning up at him as he gazed down at her with those soft, pale blue eyes.

"Carefree and happy," he replied.

"Then I'll let you in on a little secret," she said, gently rising up on the tips of her toes to whisper into his ear. "It's all you, baby."

There was no hesitation when Oliver leaned down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. Behind him, Thea cleared her throat and he and Felicity pulled back slightly to glare at her. "Be good, you two," she gibed before heading upstairs back to her room.

"Come on," Oliver said, taking Felicity by the arm and leading her to the left of the grand staircase towards the back of the house. She'd only recently begun to explore this other wing and hadn't gone very far, but tonight he led her farther than she'd ever gone to a set of French doors that led out to a beautiful stone patio. But that wasn't their final destination.

Walking down a winding stone staircase that led to the grassy back lawn, Felicity's breath caught when she saw where he was taking her. A few hundred feet from the house was a small pond and beside it a tall oak tree hung with thousands of glittering white lights. Beneath its leafy canopy sat a rustic wooden table set for two lit by an arrangement of pillar candles set between mason jars full of gloriosa daisies, dahlias, red valerians, and lavenders.

"Oliver," Felicity breathed as he pulled out her chair for her. "This is… Wow…" For the first time in a long time, words failed her. She gazed over at him to see the smile on his face illuminated by the soft glow of the candles.

"I think the last time I saw you speechless was when I asked you to move in," he replied, his smile widening into a proud grin.

"Yes, true, and therefore it's a rarity," she said. "You'd better cherish it because this probably won't happen again, at least not for a really long time."

"And then the babbling begins again," Oliver chuckled. She glared at him, but there wasn't much anger behind it.

Dinner was served a few minutes later by a man dressed in a chef's uniform; pan roasted stuffed chicken with red peppers, prosciutto and garlic confit in a roasted tomato sauce and russet potatoes paired with the perfect pinot noir. They enjoyed light conversation throughout, happy to be spending the evening out of bed and somewhere a little more airy. Although this wasn't the first time Felicity had ventured out of the house, it was the first time since their trip to the office a couple weeks back. It definitely felt good breathing in the warm summer air that surrounded her.

Dessert was a marvelous dark chocolate bunt cake with ganache glaze paired with a rich vintage port. Oliver scooted beside her so they could share. "Stop taking such big bites! Let me have a little!" Felicity whined when he nearly finished it all before she'd even eaten a forkful.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "Here, let me fix that." Slicing another piece from the tray, he placed it in her plate then grabbed a fork to feed it to her.

Felicity giggled when some of the ganache got stuck on her lip and he leaned over to kiss it away. "I could get used to this," she murmured when his arm wrapped around her shoulders and tugged her to his chest. His fingers played against the soft bare skin of her arm sending jolts of electricity down her spine.

Felicity could already feel it in the air. Everything had changed from the moment they laid eyes on each other in the foyer. Oliver hadn't been able to keep his hands off her since he'd sat closer to share dessert. His fingers continued to stroke her skin causing it to prickle at his touch, the hairs standing on end as if an electrical current was being passed through them. When his thumb settled at the nape of her neck and began drawing circles at her hairline, she shivered.

Turning to look at him, Felicity could see the way his eyes had darkened. Oliver felt it just as strongly as she had. In that moment, they became lost in each other's eyes. It wasn't until he set the fork down and leaned into her, whispering, "I have one more surprise for you," that she realized she'd been holding her breath.

"Huh? Surprise?" Felicity mumbled, her eyes locking with his once more before he pulled away to reach into the pocket of his jeans. She gasped when Oliver placed a small black velvet box on the table in front of her. "Are you…?" Her heart felt like it was caught in her throat. This was the second time he'd pulled out a box, and she really was hoping he wasn't planning on proposing tonight because even though they had discussed marriage, albeit once, they both were on the same page when it came to waiting.

"Like I said a couple weeks ago, I'm not asking you to marry me. Not yet, anyway," Oliver said with a soft smile. "Give me your right hand."

Staring at him skeptically for a moment, Felicity finally brought her hand out of her lap and held it out for him. Taking it in his, he placed a soft kiss against her knuckles and she blushed. When he looked at her, she swore those blue eyes had completely melted her heart with the way they were staring at her with such love and adoration. Her breath hitched when he opened the box and waited to see what was inside.

"Let me reiterate what I said earlier. I'm  _not_  proposing." Before she knew it, Oliver had slipped a small silver ring onto her finger. Two gemstone hearts, one emerald and one amethyst, sat point to point with a two karat round cut diamond nestled between them. She gasped and looked up at him with wide eyes. "It's a promise ring," Oliver said. "I had it engraved."

Felicity took it off and glanced at the band. The inscription read, "A promise made." It was a phrase that had become synonymous with their relationship and she couldn't help but smile as she gazed up at him. "Oliver, I…" And for the second time that night, words failed her. Instead, she leaned in and kissed him.

"I promise," he said, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face, "that when we're both ready to take this to the next level, I will get down on one knee and propose to you. For now, I hope this is enough to let you know that I love you and that no matter what happens, I'm not letting you go."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with fervor. His arms were around her waist in seconds, pulling her into his lap as he kissed back with equal intensity. "I love you," Felicity murmured against his lips. "I love you so much."

"I know," Oliver replied, holding her face in his hands.

"I, um… I have something for you too," she said.

Rising up from his lap, Felicity grabbed his hand and led him back inside to their room. She took the case out from beneath their bed and laid it on the sheets. "Open it."

She watched with nervous excitement as Oliver threw open the lid and finally saw what was inside. Holding her breath as he took the bow by its grip and inspected it, Felicity waited for his reaction. The unreadable expression on his face was killing her to the point where she finally asked, "How did I do?"

Oliver turned to her as a smile lit up his face. "It's perfect," he said then leaned down to kiss her. Felicity couldn't have asked for a better reaction. Her heart exploded with joy as she leaned over and kissed him once more. Oliver loved his new bow and she loved her new ring.

From that point on, their dynamic only strengthened. Although there were times when they fought about things, they still managed to work through their problems. The media had been incessant, especially when it became very apparent that Oliver was no longer the playboy of yesteryear. Rumors spread like wildfire about their relationship, none of which Felicity paid attention to. It was only when her connection to the vigilante came up did things really become a problem. Even still, that managed to boil over within a week and everything after that became routine.

Three years later, under that same tree with those twinkling lights, Oliver kept his promise. Beneath the inky black summer night sky, he rendered Felicity speechless with his proposal. This time, the ring was made of platinum with a three-karat marquis cut diamond flanked by two single karat emeralds. Again, he'd had it engraved. "A promise kept."

A year later found them in Astoria at the cottage that had brought them together. The intimate ceremony was held on the beach in midsummer with only their closest friends and family present. This ring was the simplest of them all, something Felicity had specifically asked for. The band was platinum to match her engagement ring and encrusted in diamonds. The inscription along the inside read, "A promise forever."

The ceremony had been simple, their vows written for each other. She wore a one shoulder white chiffon classic Greek style wedding dress with a beaded sash around the waist and strappy sandals. Thea had helped her pick it out. It billowed in the wind as Felicity walked. When she caught sight of Oliver at the end of the beach, she found he'd dressed simply as well, wearing cream khakis and a white linen shirt, the sleeves rolled up just how she liked.

Thea was her only bridesmaid, dressed in a coral colored dress that stopped at her knees, while Diggle was his only groomsman. But beside Oliver was an empty space where Tommy would have stood. Felicity had been the one to insist they do that, since he was still Oliver's best friend even in death.

When she'd made the suggestion a few nights before the wedding, Oliver had actually cried, something he hadn't done since the day they'd gone to visit Tommy's grave for the first time. He had kissed her hard, knocking the air out of her lungs before stripping her bare and making love to her on the bed they'd first shared together.

After they'd said their vows, dinner was served at sunset, a fitting end to a beautiful summer day. Amongst the friends and family that had gathered for their special day were Doc and Liv, sitting beside Moira and Thea. Even Laurel had managed to make it out there with someone she'd apparently been seeing for over a year now. He was a sweet man by the name of Josh Andrews. With short sandy colored hair and soft grey-green eyes, he stood tall and quiet beside Laurel, his fingers seemingly always intertwined with hers.

Even Roy had been allowed to attend. His affections towards Thea had only grown since his second brush with death, something Oliver could no longer deny. Slowly but surely he'd learned to trust the younger man with his sister, something Felicity had played a major role in. She'd been the one to stick up for Thea, speaking on Roy's behalf even though he continued to pester them about finding out who the vigilante was. She was working on giving him his wish, but Oliver still hadn't warmed up to the idea yet.

Once dinner had been finished, the back patio was cleared to make way for a dance floor. The long table they'd gathered around was separated into several that now line the perimeter. As the first strands of soft piano filtered through the air, Oliver took Felicity's hand and let her out to the middle of the floor. Illuminated by thousands of tiny tea light candles, it reminded her of the night he'd made his promise.

Tears of joy welled in her eyes as she gazed up at her husband. The song they'd chosen as their first dance was one dear to her heart. From the moment she'd heard it on one of her Pandora stations, Felicity fell in love and when she'd had Oliver listen to it, the smile it brought to his face proved he was just as smitten with it as she was. Now, as it played through the speakers, her head fell to his shoulder as she closed her eyes and let him take the lead.

_This is my love song to you_  
 _Let every woman know I'm yours_  
 _So you can fall asleep each night, babe_  
 _And know I'm dreaming of you more_  
 _You're always hoping that we make it_  
 _You always want to keep my gaze_  
 _Well you're the only one I see, love_  
 _And that's the one thing that won't change_ __  


"I love this song," Felicity murmured against his shirt as her arm came around his waist and she pulled herself closer to him.

"You know how to pick 'em," Oliver replied with a smile. He nuzzled her hair then kissed her forehead.

_I'll never stop trying_  
 _I'll never stop watching as you leave_  
 _I'll never stop losing my breath_  
 _Every time I see you looking back at me_  
 _I'll never stop holding your hand_  
 _I'll never stop opening your door_  
 _I'll never stop choosing you babe_  
 _I'll never get used to you_ __  


"It's true," Oliver whispered into her ear. She gazed up at him, slightly confused to find his smile turning into a wide grin. "I don't think I'll ever get used to you."

Felicity giggled. Pulling her hand free from his grasp, she let his fall to his cheek. "I hope not," she said, running her thumb over his cheekbone. "Because I don't ever wanna get used to you. That's what I love about you. You're always finding ways to surprise me."

"Just like you." Oliver then leaned in and kissed her. The collective "aw" that resonated from the crowd had her blushing in an instant as Felicity buried her face in his shirt. They finished out the rest of the song without speaking another word, only kissing every once in a while, their bliss evident on their faces.

After the father/daughter, mother/son dances, they stole away for a few minutes, walking down the beach hand in hand for a little quiet time to themselves.

"This was perfect," Felicity whispered as she leaned against Oliver's side.

"It was perfect," he echoed her sentiment with a soft smile before kissing her forehead. They stopped for a moment to look out across the glittering ocean waves.

"Who knew this place would bring us together," she said, glancing up at him. Her hair rustled in the light breeze, a sea of gold in the fading sunlight.

"I'm glad I brought you here," Oliver replied. "That was the second best decision of my life."

"What was the first?"

"Going to your office with my 'computer problem.'" A grin spread out over Oliver's lips as he gazed down at her, those pale blue eyes reflecting the last of the sun's rays and making her heart melt. He leaned down and kissed her. "You know, I never got to thank you for everything you did for me while we were here."

"I think you did," Felicity said with a soft smile. "You married me, after all. There's no better thank you than that."

"I can think of one." And with that, he kissed her again. "I love you, Mrs. Queen."

"And I love you, Mr. Queen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful feedback you've all given me. I can't even begin to express my gratitude. You all are some pretty awesome people. Thanks for sticking with this story from beginning to end. You guys are seriously awesome!

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed it, please remember to leave some feedback! I appreciate it and so does my muse. Thank you!


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